Posts Tagged 'motherhood'

this is what you’ve been missing

the picky eater vs the foodie

The keeping room

I am *that* mom

missed the turn, he did

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baby Bista is a……..

Gender Reveal (Kellan)

BOY!!!!!

I have always known, somewhere deep down – maybe call it intuition – that I would only have boys. I even remember having the thought while pulling Kellan in a wagon in our neighborhood in Colorado, probably at least a year ago, if not longer. It went something like, “Do you really want another one? You already know it’ll be a boy.”

It’s like my whole life has set me up to be a mom of boys. I only have brothers. I preferred to play with the boys in my neighborhood growing up (making forts and jumping over bushes and riding skateboards down steep driveways was way more fun than Barbies). I was even envious of my brother being in Boy Scouts. *I* wanted to be in Boy Scouts. Girl Scouts was so boring. I legit would hide during meetings because I didn’t want to see how long it would take for dripping water to fills cup. Bring on the Pinewood Derby (that’s a Boy Scout thing) and camping trips and why can’t I go to the meetings????

As I got older, I felt like I could relate to boys better. I preferred having friends that were boys. I liked stereotypical “boy” activities better. Boys were more interesting and did more interesting things. Boys were not complicated (until I was a teenager, and honestly, I’m pretty sure the overthinking and emotional state we girls are in at that point are what makes that whole thing complicated in the first place).

This is not to say I never had girl friends. I did. I still do. Some of those friends will forever be near and dear to my heart, with years and years of memories.

What I’m saying is, I know boys. I am totally comfortable with boys. Boys are predictable (to me). Boys are well within my comfort zone and I have lots of years of experience with them. I truly enjoy doing the things they like to do. I would be hopelessly lost with a prissy, doll-loving, wants to get mani-pedis, french braid my hair girl. I’d be like….well, to start, I’d need lessons on how to french braid hair.

And how to properly apply makeup.

All that.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in awe of those girls, mostly because I have never been one and I could never figure out how to be one, though I tried and tried….and tried….and tried.

I think I finally realized somewhere down the age line that that isn’t me, and that’s why I can’t be that person, even though there were times I REALLY WANTED TO BE THAT GIRL.

I’m not. I never will be. And that’s okay.

All this time, all this gravitation toward more “boy” things…has completely prepared me for this journey. I’m more than ready and so very excited that Kellan will have a brother, that we will have another son, that our family will be complete.

I will say that I am sad that Tim will not have a daughter. I mean, yes, it is true we will never know what it is like to raise a girl. We just have to take it as we aren’t supposed to have that experience, that our path has a purpose, and that path and purpose is full of boys. Don’t get me wrong, Tim is super excited about baby Bista. He just knows that this will be the last child to occupy my uterus (though others think we will change our minds…), for a variety of reasons. So, barring adoption (which isn’t something we are considering), there will not be a girl in this house (other than me…hahahahahaha). And that’s just what it is, and honestly, and this goes for every single person and family out there – there need not be any explanation as to why we are happy or sad or anything.

This is our family.

We are all deeply devoted, protective, and completely in love with every single aspect of it. Tim even said to me the other day…and I quote, “We’ve built a life together.”

He is totally right.

We love our family.

We love our life.

It’s as simple as that.

P.S.: And for those wondering what baby Bista’s name will be….stay tuned…until June. Because, for those of you who remember baby sprout (Kellan!), that’s a secret we don’t tell anyone until they are born. I’m pretty sure we drive our family and friends crazy. We don’t even give up initials. Top secret information over here.

wager a guess?

Anyone want to guess? Well, anyone who hasn’t already…since some of you have already voice your opinions….which is fabulous.

What is baby bista?

I really have no clue….so…..

For any of you who believe in old wives tales….here’s what we have so far. I’m 16 weeks, for the record. I’m sure I missed about a hundred old wives tales, so if you have one you swear by that I didn’t list, let me know and we’ll see what we can do…

Morning Sickness: Yes. It’s better now, but it was 24/7 until maybe 14-15 weeks. I still get nauseous at random times during the day.
(Kellan: had all day nausea until about 14 weeks, then had energy and felt good) RESULT: GIRL

Aversions: Meat. It was all meat for awhile. I still cannot cook meat and most meat is not appealing at all. Milk. Cannot drink it. I don’t want any hot food. Only cold or room temperature (so weird). (Kellan – I don’t remember specific aversions, though I did have weeks where nothing sounded good) RESULT: GIRL

Cravings: Fruit, specifically clementines and raspberries. Also, cheese and triscuits. Like, I would be happy eating cheese and triscuits for every meal. ALSO coffee (finally gave in to decaf every now and then), wine (sad face), and a mojito (so strange, also sad face). And chocolate milkshakes from Chickfila (fun fact: my mom craved Wendy’s frosty’s when she was pregnant with me). (Kellan – at this point, I wanted MEAT and Chalula hot sauce was my BFF. As were pickles on bread with mustard and mayo – gag) RESULT: Mixed (cheese is supposed to mean boy, fruit girl)

How I’m carrying: Ummm. I’m not even really showing…so hard to tell. But I have started feeling kicks (!!!!!) and at times they have been very close to my belly button. (Kellan: I remember feeling his early kicks low and to the right) RESULT: too early to tell?

Baby’s heart rate: At my last appointment about a month ago, it was “in the 160s” per the OB. (Kellan: his started high, ended low, though I don’t remember exact numbers) RESULT: GIRL

Hair: The hair on my head is thick and feels pretty normal, texture wise. My leg hair? Growing like a weed. (Kellan: leg hair barely grew at all) RESULT: BOY

Extra weight: Hello giant butt and hips. You are not my favorite, at all. (Kellan = same) RESULT: GIRL

Acne: My face definitely breaks out. It was waaaaay worse in the first trimester…maybe it’s settling down now. (Kellan = amazing skin) RESULT: GIRL

Chinese gender chart: BOY. (Kellan’s said girl…haha)

Moodiness: I’m pretty volatile this go…and cry or get emotional a lot at everything – even ridiculous things. (Kellan: after the first trimester, my emotional state seemed to even out) RESULT: GIRL

Headaches: Almost daily. And really awful…usually in the afternoon. (Kellan: a few random headaches here and there) RESULT: BOY

This one that I just leaned about: If your age and year of conception are both even or odd, it’s girl. One even and one odd means a boy. For me, it’s 2014 and 31, so, RESULT: BOY. (With Kellan, it was 2011 and 28, so also boy)

Ummmm as for Kellan, he typically says baby bista is a girl or sister, though he has said boy/brother, too, though it’s usually girl/sister.

well….the secret’s out

So, yes. Lots has been going on these past few months. Well, really only one MAJOR thing that has kind of been all consuming, thank you, morning sickness and 24/7 nausea and aversions to basically all food, especially meat (gag gag gag).

You heard me.

Morning sickness.

As in, the pregnancy kind.

Baby Bold 2, who Kellan has, all on his own, named “baby bista” is coming sometime in May or June 2015! The official date is June 3, and if he/she is like Kellan, then he/she will be late and will definitely be a June baby, but I’ll hold out hope for early…because pregnancy giantness at 40 plus weeks.

Go figure that the entire world is knocked up right now. I guess I didn’t want to feel left out. Never mind that this was a complete surprise and took exactly ONE try….I even know the date….I digress. That’s probably…no, definitely TMI.

Here’s our super early Christmas card, moonlighting as a pregnancy announcement, that we mailed out last week:

So, happy and exhausting days are ahead!

Bold Christmas 2014

I am thankful – October edition

Wow. It’s been a super busy month, you guys….

October 1: Kellan and his crazy vocabulary. I asked him if he was finished eating his snack and his response? “Not quite yet.” Not QUITE yet, well, okay, then.

October 2: The storms with the cold front weren’t as bad as anticipated. Whew.

October 3: Having Tim home for a long weekend. Also, naps.

October 4: the most perfect fall weather day, complete with a trip to the park and dinner outside on the deck!

October 5: A nice long family walk in the evening after dinner. The weather was pretty nice! And this kid – maybe 10? – thanked Kellan when he brought a soccer ball back to their yard (it ended up not being theirs). And then, the kid, who was in the middle of playing with a friend/brother, stops, bends down, looks right at Kellan and says hi and asks his name. Tim and I were in shocked silence. Whoever is raising him, is raising him right. What a kind and genuine gesture.

October 6: Kellan wandered off this morning while we were eating breakfast and went to go play by himself in the family room. It was kind of strange, him doing that, but also kind of nice to see he’s becoming his own person and wanting to do things by himself/as an individual. He’s growing up.

October 7: The ability to lay with Kellan in the morning until he’s ready to get up. Sometimes it’s five minutes, others it’s 45. Either way, I have the option to do that, and I see how much of a blessing that is, versus having a hectic morning where we are trying to get ready for work and him ready for daycare or preschool….I am really thankful we can have mellow mornings.

October 8: Kellan being a super big cooperator and getting up early so we could take my car to get service at the “deodership.”

October 9: Kellan really trying to be more and more independent. He’s asking/saying he wants to do so many things by himself.

October 10: Tim stepping on the vacuum cleaner cord while I was vacuuming. It was olive branch attempt 3, after I rebuffed his, then he mine, then he stepped on the cord like a seventh grader and made us both laugh.

October 11:The most relaxing evening outside…it has rained all day, it was cold, and we decided to go on the deck. The feeling and sounds of rain very lightly falling on the leaves, along with the smell of someone who had made a fire, it reminded me of camping…in a good way. If you have been camping and you know how relaxing that kind of moment can be….it was pure bliss. Also, Kellan has learned how to climb in and out of his bed. He needs to use the quilt on the bed to pull up, and tonight during story time, he said, “I don’t need any help. I can do it by myself.” There was not a blanket available to use, so he started to say he needed help, so I pushed the blanket over. He tried using it once and didn’t get a good grip, couldn’t get up on the bed, stopped his attempts, and looked me right in the eye and goes, “That didn’t help.” Commence hysterical laughter from Tim and me. Kellan never fails to crack us up, no matter the time of day or night. And I love that.

October 12: Tim watching Kellan, even though he didn’t feel well, so I could go run a few errands.

October 13: Kellan being a really big cooperator running a million errands after nap, which is usually a difficult time to do errands.

October 14: A super windy day. It reminded me of Colorado. While I didn’t really like the days on end of super winds there, the one today was nice because it reminded me of Colorado. And we are all really missing it.

October 15: The most amazing surprise in the mail from the BFF! We cannot find Horizon organic peanut butter crackers ANYWHERE IN ARKANSAS…and Kellan keeps asking for them….and Amazon only lets you order a case for like $70. And then….an unsuspecting package turns out to be two boxes of crackers! Kellan was ecstatic (me too!)!!!

October 16: sage travel day for us….and Kellan did SO WELL for the whole thing, from having to get up super early to flying on an airplane to dealing with airports to bring patient with a rental car mini fiasco to driving to my mom’s, and everything in between

October 17: A really nice dinner with family and my high school basket coaches, whom I have not seen in forever, at a restaurant I used to frequent in my college town. Super fun night.

October 18: Amazing day. Sports Hall of Fame induction. My first ever permanent mark. So grateful for all of the wonderful experiences today and all of the wonderful people who were there to celebrate with me.

October 19: Seeing all my old friends and their children! So sweet they all took time out of their schedules to stop by. Also, at the end of the night, post party, the uncles and Tim and my mom and a few adopted family members were outside on the deck and Kellan went inside to grab a snack from the party food table. As he was running in, he stopped, turned around, and said, “I’ll be right back so I can be with my family.” Hearts melted everywhere.

October 20: A nice, low-key day with family.

October 21: Papa had a successful surgery!

October 22: Safe travel day home AND Kellan did SO WELL the whole time. He was patient and nice and understanding. Definitely mature for his age, in a good, amazing way.

October 23: Realizing Kellan is having a developmental leap in the form of trying to engage us in power struggles….and arming myself with some knowledge and tools to appropriately handle/not engage in them.

October 24: Homemade mashed potatoes.

October 25: A safe day of running all over the place doing errands.

October 26: The cutest FaceTime session with Nonni and Papa. Kellan knows exactly who they are, even though we do not see them very often. It’s very sweet and endearing.

October 27: walking out of a small store and Kellan turning around and waving to the owner while saying, “Have a nice morning!”

October 28: Safe travel day for Tim and a successful day of getting stuff done here.

October 29: completely random fun evening finding acorns in the backyard with Kellan. It was so neat to watch him enjoying nature.

October 30: Safe travel day for Tim and a really fun, impromptu fall leaf activity with Kellan. It was his first time, since we didn’t have trees like this at our Colorado house.

IMG_2480.JPG

October 31: Meeting a Vietnam veteran. I interviewed him for a few hours for a newspaper story, but he really has had an incredible life…and it was truly a pleasure to speak with him and hear his story. I was also reminded today that life is so precious…and should never, ever be taken for granted.

stop shaming our kids

I’m not one to get on one side or the other regarding hot topics.

Believe it or not, I really dislike conflict. I’m terrible with it. If you start yelling at me or raising your voice, any point that I *may* have wanted to make goes whooooosh! Gone forever from my brain. All I hear is buzzing, like white noise, just on the inside.

Anyway. Today is not the conflict avoidance day….so, here goes.

I am getting really tired – REALLY TIRED – I cannot express this enough….

REALLY. FREAKING. TIRED.

of all the news stories about X parent making their child wear a sign and stand by the road or have their picture taken and posted on Facebook to shame them.

To shame them.

Last time I checked, shaming someone, no matter their age, wasn’t the appropriate way to correct a behavior. Ever.

It increasingly feels like parents are doing these things for attention, like, “Ohhhhhh I saw on the news the other day how this dad/mom made this sign and put their kid on a corner for an hour! I’ll bet I could do one better AND make the news.”

JUST STOP RIGHT THERE.

If you’re disciplining your kid to hopefully garner enough attention to make it on Channel 5, there is a serious problem, here.

Dear News Outlets: STOP BEING AN ENABLER. If children are our most precious resource and we are supposed to be teaching them how to be responsible adults, wearing shame signs ISN’T THE WAY TO GO, so stop giving it press.

What lesson are shame signs teaching our kids? One where we must blatantly point out an undesirable behavior and then to make sure you really understand you messed up, let’s announce it to as many people as possible to make you feel small and insignificant.

I guarantee you that the only thing a child will “learn” from that exercise is that doing bad things means I wear a shame sign and my parents are assholes.

That isn’t the takeaway message they need to hear and carry with them in order to be better prepared to deal with difficult situations in the future.

The message kids need should involve why the behavior was wrong. What you can do together to fix it. How to approach the situation the next time.

And all of that?

All of that should happen in a private space. Mono e mono. Parent to child. Nothing more.

How would you feel if your boss did that to you? Dressed you up in a sign that said, “I suck so bad at my job, I’m on a PIP,” took a picture, and then emailed it to the entire company? Posted it to Facebook and Twitter and Instagram? And then did nothing more to help you improve?

How’s that for a confidence and resume booster?

If your boss gave you the shame sign treatment, would you learn from your mistake, receiving both knowledge and guidance as to how to do your job to the best of your ability in the future or would you resent your boss and live in fear of it happening again?

EXACTLY.

Stop treating our kids like crap. Teach them, don’t shame them. Be bigger than that.


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