Posts Tagged 'home'

goooodbyeeeee junk

So, there’s this book making the rounds called ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.’ Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe not, but the basic premise is if any of the “stuff” you have  in your house doesn’t bring you joy (or serve some actual, daily or at least more than once every few years, functional purpose), it goes. Get rid of it. There is no need.

My friend gave me the book ooooohhhhhh I don’t know. A year or so ago? She read it, followed it, and now has one cutting board and two measuring cups in her whole kitchen. There will not be ten different measuring spoons in her household. Nooooooo way. Not having it. But, she was like, “It is so nice to get rid of all the STUFF.”

And I agreed with her. Because I am over all the STUFF collecting in our house. There is too much. It is overwhelming. I cannot handle it anymore.

About ooooohhhhhh I don’t know…a year ago, I told Tim we should do the same thing and he started hesitate-stuttering all, “But sometimes we use that. We might need this. You never know when it’ll come in handy.”

Yada yada yada and so nothing happened.

You guys.

We literally own a chair that NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SIT ON because it’s too old and fragile.

It collects dust.

It’s a dust collector and a Tim hat stand and sometimes a clothes pile-up-on-er.

(Some of you may say, well, that chair absolutely serves a purpose! Look at all of those functional operations if performs!)

(But honestly people. We do not need another THING to hold more THINGS when those THINGS should really be put somewhere else…like the closet where the clothes and hats live)

The other…probably month by this point…I stood in the garage all, “I need another tote for this stuff…”

And then as I was standing there, it hit me and I was just like…ooooookay….if we are having to buy more totes to put more THINGS in because there are entirely too many THINGS floating around, there is a serious problem, here. Bordering on ridiculous.

So, suffice it to say I’ve been wanting to get rid of the stuff for quite some time now. I’ve just been waiting on the other half to get on board, and we all know nothing happens until it is their idea.

I mean it went something like this, out of the clear blue sky one Saturday morning:


I used to go crazy over things like that all, “Um hello? I’ve been saying this for how long? And you think this is a new idea like some amazing lightbulb just went off in your head that has never been mentioned before? OMG. Are you serious right now?

But now?

Me: Yes! You’re right! Let’s do this!

Because I’m getting my way, after all….albeit months later…but we’ll just call it a win and move forward. I’ve learned a lot about being married and what you need to do to keep the peace and to also get what you want done. And when that delayed lightbulb goes off, you just roll with it, ladies.

We spent that entire weekend going through the garage and donating or shredding or recycling or putting items into a garage sale pile. After awhile we were both like, “WHY? Why in the world do we even have college notebooks and binders from however many years ago? Are we ever going to reference any of this? Can we even read and understand our own notes? Have we even opened these binders since the day before the final exam of whatever class?”

No, no we have not. We never will.

It brings no joy and serves no purpose other than to make us crazy.


Tim was all, “I just want a conveyor belt to put it all on so it disappears and we don’t have to deal with it.”

Unfortunately, dear husband, the “dealing with it” is part of the process.

So, for this entire year, we are going to go through the entire house and attic. Every box and tote and drawer. We are going to ignore our sentimental side that wanted to keep a sticker from high school or a champagne glass from a college dance. We both like to keep sentimental things…but at this point the practical side is taking over and the type A personalities that cannot handle the clutter is behind the wheel because we are both. going. crazy.
Goodbye stuff.

Hellllllooooooooo freedom!







I mean, is this even interesting?

Moment of truth: 99% of the reason I’m rarely blogging is because 100% of the posts come from my phone and it is a PITA to type a blog post ON YOUR PHONE.

Anyway. Glad I got that off my chest.

So, house renovation is still happening. We are currently going insane living amongst piles and piles of boxes and paper and lots and lots of things labeled I Have No Idea Where To Put This.

Don’t even get me started on how many pictures we have to hang…it really doesn’t seem like you own so many pictures until you take them all off the wall. Then it’s like DID WE REALLY NEED TO FRAME THIS?

The next *big reveal* will be the red monkey wallpaper half bathroom. Even our painter/handyman, Michael, who has a suuuuuper southern accent (that isn’t even totally real, he just picked it up and started using it, as he hails from ChiCAGo) was like, “I…I rally don’t know whut they were thanking.”

Me either, Michael. Me either.

This is what we walked into when we bought the house. No wonder they showed zero bathroom pictures in their real estate listing. That is definitely a red flag, anyone buying a house in the near future. If they don’t show you the bathrooms, there’s a really good reason. And by really good I mean horrendous. It’s a jungle out there (ba dum chaaa):


Once we find a mirror and a toilet seat….Oh, yes. FYI – turns out you can buy a whole toilet and it doesn’t even come with a seat *or* a lid. Shouldn’t that be standard? I mean….come on, toilet people. That’s like selling a hotdog without a bun. I don’t even really eat hotdogs and I still think that’s crazy talk.

We also need a few other things like a circle towel bar and a toilet paper holder thing (technical terms, I’m sure) and some artwork on the walls…a towel in the circle bar… Then it’ll be a blog worthy “after” to share. I mean, it honestly looks a million times better already, goodbye monkeys! But I think you deserve the finished product with a lid.

In other news, I’m thinking about going for bangs again. Talk about a total change in topics. Welcome to my brain. Buckle up.

Join me? It’s house renovation time!

“So, are you guys even living here or are you flipping the house?” Actual question by the Lowe’s guy who installed our new awesome refrigerator (because the previous owners took theirs and we left ours in our old house. I mean, kid in a candy store activity for Tim. I won’t even get started on the other electronics he’s getting to buy. Christmas in July!).

Exhibit A:

20140720-135151-49911767.jpgAnyhow, first, I’m not entirely sure how you’re supposed to take that. Is it a compliment?

Second, it’s Arkansas. The housing market isn’t exactly booming. Sorry, Arkansas, but it’s true. I highly doubt we will make any money off this house. I think we’d be happy to break even, honestly. *However* I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to do this for a living. Remodeling houses and/or staging them to sell? It’s like Tim and my true calling. We can make any house look amazing. It’s like we actually have a knack for it….it just comes naturally.

Anyhow, back to the house. No, Lowe’s guy. We will be living here. No flipping. Only remodeling and renovating the things we thought needed help. Well, really only the things we absolutely could not live with…since this is not our forever house, we aren’t fixing alllllllll the things.

First was new paint and carpet and that’s almost finished! Benjamin Moore revere pewter and a linen colored carpet for the win!

Sidebar: do you have any idea how long it takes to vacuum a totally empty house? FOREVER. That’s how long.

So, our progress so far…and by “our” I mostly mean the painters and the carpet people…

We went from this super dark cave in the dining room:


To this – let there be light! I don’t even think I have a picture of the chandelier before we took some weight off in the form of black shades over the lights (WHY) and these weird dangly decorative things that Kellan called silver chickens. And please excuse the giant pile in the center of things still to do:


And this lovely mustard yellow (this isn’t our furniture – this is from the former owners):


To this, Kellan for scale:


Ahhhhh. Doesn’t it look and feel so much more peaceful and calming with the new paint color? As Tim says, “it feels so sophisticated.” Except not in a stuffy, snooty way. More like a quiet, cool, gently flowing riverbed stream kind of way.

Tomorrow we will finally get to move in after about two weeks of living in a tiny one bedroom apartment with all of our things in storage. I cannot wait to show you how the rooms will look post-furniture and decorations and hanging pictures! And our mini-loft we made for Kellan! And the kitchen area! That deserves its own post. So many things! Who’s excited?!!!?!! Other than me, obviously.

Here’s to the boxless calm before insanity and chaos tomorrow. We are trying a new plan of attack with the madness that is movers hauling in boxes left and right and asking where they go. Last time it was actual mass confusion as we were trying to read every box to see what was written on the side to see where it was supposed to go. This time, we pre-labeled all the boxes from every room with different colors of tape and are also taping a sign on each door/entryway with the corresponding tape color for each room and will be putting up a sign with which tape colors go upstairs and which go downstairs so they don’t have to ask every time they bring in a box. Hoping our extreme type A plan works.


If it doesn’t, at least we tried.

i’m dishwasher challenged

Though I’ve been wandering around for like, 26…almost 27 years…apparently I’m still clueless when it comes to dishwashers.

And stoves.

And toilets.

But, with the whole dishwasher thing…I mean, COME ON. Just because I put a bowl or a cup in the wrong direction or stuff three plates into the space made for just one doesn’t mean it won’t get cleaned.

It just means said utensils will get to enjoy the whole “washing” experience twice.

Or if we’re really having a bad day, three times. And when I say “we” I mean the dishes. It’s not my fault they don’t take some personal responsibility and rearrange themselves during the whole washing process to make sure they get all nice and shiny. I mean, the door LOCKS…it’s not like I can jump in to help you out and rinse off your backside.

I just had to give up on a spoon with an unidentified piece of food that was completely plastered to the “spoon” part. Had it been on the handle…wouldn’t have been such a big deal…but after seven runs, it still didn’t come off. Actually, I think it got worse…all that super-heating and then cooling caused the food bits to be hermetically sealed to the spoon.

Tim just informed me that is scientifically impossible for that to happen. Whatever. The point is – it wasn’t coming off so I wasn’t going to use it.

That’s my relationship with the dishes.

Dishwashers were invented so I don’t have to clean them.

And if they – the dishes – don’t want to work with that, then they’ll just have to sit in there forever. No skin off my back. There are PLENTY of other plates who come out nice and sparkly and I’m more than obliged to use the one’s who aren’t high maintenance all “I need special, hand washing.”

So, today is rainy…and cold. We expected the cold but nowhere did the rain get forecasted. So instead of our “plan” – which was to go run around Stone Mountain, we’re playing Home Improvement.

So far, We’ve been  to Lowe’s THREE TIMES and Home Depot once because one place didn’t have exactly what we wanted and then other didn’t have ANY of what we wanted so we had to go BACK to the other place to “make do” with what they had…and between all that, a trip back to the house because we forgot a PAINT CHIP to try to have the paint people match our wall color. Actually, we went to Lowe’s yesterday, too. So, technically, I’ve seen the inside of that building four times in less than 12 hours.

All for toilet seats.

That’s where this run-around started.

Damn toilet seats.

Today, we had to go back to get matchy handle-flusher things because the attachment things to keep the seat on the toilet were a different color than the flushy handle thing. I have no idea what the technical term is for a flusher thing…and when I don’t know the word, the function it performs automatically becomes its name.

Like the squeegy thingy.

Or the rinser.

Or the thing that does the thing that makes it go in circles.

Tim has figured out most of what I’m talking about – but sometimes, like that last one, he just looks at me all, “What the hell, woman? The thing that goes in CIRCLES?”

Me: Nooo! The thing that MAKES the thing go in circles.

Tim: A little context here…that’d be, you know, slightly helpful.

Me: Umm…you know, we saw it on TV.

Tim: That isn’t helping.

Me: I don’t remember…something about trains and then there was this little guy with a hat explaining something with the wheels and circles…

Tim: Was I even HOME when you were watching this?

Me: I don’t think so.

Tim: Then HOW is your description of a guy with a hat SUPPOSED TO HELP?

Me: It was on the History Channel…I thought maybe you’d seen it and would remember him…he was really short and wore these funny looking suspenders…do people actually still wear suspenders?

Tim: Are you asking me about the circles or are you just going off on a tangent?

Me: Both.

Tim: Go look it up. The thing that makes the thing go in circles. Type that in. I’m sure google will give you HOURS of answers.

Me: …but, the suspenders?

Tim: google.

Me: I didn’t marry you to be pawned off to google.

Tim: google is what keeps this marriage from going insane.

Me: I think you mean you…from keeping you from going insane.



I never could find OR remember that circle thing…and I probably won’t…which is slightly disappointing…though I never much cared about trains, anyway. I DID learn, however, after ransacking the closet, that Tim doesn’t have any suspenders. As for what that means…I have not a fucking clue. I just thought you’d like to know.

the before and after project

I got a wild hair today that said YOU MUST ORGANIZE.

I have no idea why.  Tim and I were talking last night about all the things we needed to do to the house before we try to sell it.  Maybe that’s where the nagging came from.

However, selling requires a valid reason to move to another location…like a job…hence the non-action.

I decided this morning I was tired of ten things falling out of the cabinets and closets and pantries when all I wanted was ONE THING.

Those rarely seen places had been neglected FAR TOO LONG.

So I went on a eight hour rampage and lulled and coaxed and screamed and cursed all the bottles and expired medicines and disgusting unidentifiable things. 

Until I felt better.

Here are the before: the-next-item-that-falls-out-on-its-own-accord-will-be-immediately-hurled-through-the-window-and-then-run-over-by-my-car

and the after: things-are-back-to-calm results.

The pictures are in a before-after sequence.  So the first one is the BEFORE and the second one is the AFTER.  The third, fifth, seventh, etc pictures START A NEW before-and-after duo.

Got it?

guest bath left - before

guest bath left - after

guest bath right - before

guest bath right after

closet - before

closet after

Continue reading ‘the before and after project’

this is where you ask those burning questions

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