Posts Tagged 'goals'

If it was anyone, it would be Tom Hanks

If there was ever an actor I would hope to bump into while we were out in LA, it would be Tom Hanks.

And I’m not wanting this for me…even though I would probably lose my chill and be all TOM HANKS!!!

It would be for Kellan.

No, really. Swear.

Kellan doesn’t even know who Tom Hanks is…except for maybe him making the connection after Tom says hello (because of course he would. It’s TOM HANKS!) and yelling, “It’s Woody! From Toy Story!”

Begin me talking ninety miles a minute to try and quickly help Kellan remember that he had a monologue from Toy Story that he was supposed to perform last summer (“Why wouldn’t Andy want you? LOOK AT YOU! You’re a Buzz Lightyear!”…) at a competition he went to in LA, but then….then…a day or so before the competition, one of the acting coaches he was working with (Lisa Ann Walter…if any of you recognize the name) literally told him eye to eye, “You are so cute you can do any monologue you want. You don’t even have to say anything. Just stand on the stage and wave.”

So after that pep talk, Kellan was like, “I’m doing my Home Alone monologue and my spongebob commercial.”

I’ll have you know that those were the “backup” pieces instead of what was supposed to be front and center. The bread and butter. The Toy Story monologue. The Lego commercial.

(Of which he has probably forgotten both)

Fast forward to Kellan rocking both his backup monologue and commercial. I guess Lisa knew what she was talking about. Kellan ended up winning Best Commercial and Actor of the Year in his age group. 

Did I mention he was four? And his age group was 4-12?

Yah. Insane.

During the awards, they would flash headshots of the four finalists for each category and the finalists would go up on stage and they would read the runners up and then finally the winner. Each person got a medal draped over their neck. The winner getting one with a yellow ribbon and heavy medal stating they had won “Best….fill in the category.”

When Kellan saw his picture he was like, “THAT’S ME!!!” And he hopped off his chair and RAN up to the stage so fast I had to stop recording the moment on my phone and go chase after him.


Then he took his moment like he had been doing this all his life (He hasn’t. This was his first rodeo) and walked up and down the catwalk, waving to the crowd, like he owned it.

All this before they even announced the winner. They had to reel him back in to do all of the official business.

Cutest. moment. of. my. life. and everyone else’s in that room. Budding actors. Agents. Talent managers. Everyone was cheering him on.

You really shoulda been there.

So, where were we? Right! 


Kellan has a goal to be an actor.

Sidebar: We did not suggest this. He did. My plan was sports. Basketball. Soccer. Saturday’s at a gym or a field. Sweaty socks and uniforms. Apparently Kellan didn’t get that memo. Once he made his dreams known, however, we have – and are – doing all we can to help him achieve his goals.

HELLO! TOM HANKS! This is the part where you come in.

The acting life and path is mired with all kinds of challenges and difficulties and disappointments (of which we have already had plenty), and countless exercises in good decision making.

Now, I don’t know Tom Hanks from a hole in the wall, but for whatever reason, I think he would be one of the best people – if not the best person – to talk to Kellan. To teach him things about the acting life.

I know zero. I know loads about basketball. I could teach him a million things about that. Plenty of anecdotes.

However, with acting, I am learning right along with him every step of the way. So, if there was a wing in this area of life that I could fly Kellan under, I feel like it should be his. If there was ever a mentor I could choose…it would be him.

I have no idea why. 

It just seems right.

I have no rational really.

It sounds like a crazy person talking, I know. I’m not crazy. Or maybe I am. I mean really, who’s to judge here? 

(But Tom, if you’re reading this, I promise I’m not crazy)

I just want Kellan to hear it from someone who knows. Who has been there. I know he’s not perfect. 

Nobody is perfect.

But he seems perfect for Kellan.

I feel like they’d really get along. Maybe some things would sink in. Maybe some life lessons would be learned. Maybe some wisdom shared about this business Kellan has asked to be part of – on his own volition – since he was three.

Maybe… day.

Kellan keeps auditioning. We continue going to LA. He keeps trying. He keeps impressing the decision makers.

He just hasn’t been the right fit, yet.

He will be, one day. I know he will.

Maybe it’ll be alongside Tom and then all of these things will become a reality. 

You never know.

And then? 

I’d just casually run into him on set and be all TOM HANKS!!!!

my mom purpose

Ok so, I AM 34. And when I turned 34, Tim was all, “You’re the age I was when we met!”

Man. I never even thought of that.

But still. 34. 


Thirty. Four.

Can you tell I’m shocked?

I am not at all where I thought I’d be…but honestly I don’t even know where that was supposed to be, anyway. Partly because since having Kellan, I kind of stopped thinking about long term goals other than being the best mom I can be. Granted, that looks different for everyone, but that’s all I really thought about and strived for on a daily basis since then.

I mean, I do have things I would like to accomplish, but I haven’t put those things above being a mom.

Maybe that’s good. Maybe it’s not. But it is what it is. And I’m totally okay with that. I am 100% all in when it comes to helping Kellan achieve his goals and dreams…and man does he have big dreams. How an almost five year old can be so sure of what he wants to do is beyond me. I don’t remember having that much drive and determination at that age…but he has it and we are all doing what we can to help him get there. Make it. BE who he dreams to be.

That’s my purpose. And I love it.

Maybe that’s it for me, I don’t know. My whole purpose revolves around helping someone else succeed. It seems ridiculous but it’s honestly such a fulfilling and absolutely heart exploding feeling when something happens that shows the fruits of everyone’s labor.

But really the look on his face…how proud he is…that’s what I live for. It’s worth every hard day, every struggle, every tear. Every encouraging word and every hug when things don’t go exactly the way he hopes they will. None of those are easy …it may even be harder for me than it is for him…but it’s what makes success so much sweeter…those moments where tears are welling in my eyes when I get to watch him reap the reward that is finally earned…that took a lot of hard work and time and patience and everything in between.

I live for those moments. Past, present, future. Every single one of those moments. I will forever be his biggest fan, his loudest, most annoying cheerleader, his confidant any time he needs one. I’m always in his corner, ready to give a pep talk or a listening ear or a hug – whatever is needed at that particular time.

This part of mom-ing is fun. 

It’s amazing.

I love it.

resolution to be a shiny happy person

I’m actually really ready for 2014. 2013 was nice and all…but it wasn’t a banner year, that’s for sure. Not saying it was terrible. It just wasn’t a year I will look back on like, “WOW!” Even though I turned 30. And visited San Diego. And Portland (and Bend! Oh how I loved Bend!). And had a whole myriad of other things happen. It just wasn’t my year. I like even years. I have no idea why. I’m really excited for 2014. I’m ready.

I’ve been (kind of) trying to actively work on what I’m about to say for a little while. Maybe a few months at most. However, it is something that I really want to achieve. More than anything. And in order to achieve it, I have many, many hurdles to overcome.

My “goal” (or resolution or whatever you want to call it) for this year is to become a happy, positive person. The kind of person who probably annoys others because they’re always finding the silver lining in even the worst situations. I feel like I used to be more like this, but alas, I am older, more skeptical, and seemingly surrounded by realists who tend to find the potential disaster before the positive outcome, so my goal will be an uphill battle at times. This isn’t to blame anyone, it just is what it is. Everyone seems to be going crazy and the internet is full of snark. It is just something I have to learn to understand and not allow to dampen my spirit. I tend to be heavily affected by the moods of others and I need to train myself to keep my mood/positive outlook intact instead of it crumbling when I hear how it’s not possible or it is silly to consider the brighter (“unrealistic”) side when the world is so obviously negative. None of this is to say I am an unhappy person. I am just not exactly who I want to be in the positivity department. I need that to change. So, I’m going to try like hell to change it.

I’m not even sure how I am going to make this change. I’ve been collecting positive quotes on Pintrest and have been considering putting up positive quote posters (of some variation) in rooms around the house to remind me to keep my head in the positive space instead of allowing negativity to sit and brew in my brain. Negativity breeds like freaking rabbits and makes things exponentially more dramatic and worse than they really are in the first place (that sentence doesn’t sound right, but I had wine prior to editing. This is not at all suggested when trying to sound serious and/or like you know what you’re talking about).

If something negative does happen, I want to deal with it, feel the emotion, and then let it go, instead of stewing and holding into it.

I’m also going to start running on the regular again, since that always puts me in a good mood, even when I struggle getting out of the door sometimes. It’s worth it. Kellan really enjoys “rundy dundin'”

I need this change for myself. I need it for Kellan. And for Tim. I want them to know that life is happy and fun and amazing. I want to radiate that mindset and lifestyle.

Even though bad things happen, I don’t want Kellan to become a cynic. He is such a joyful little boy who finds laughter in all things. The last thing I want to do is dampen his precious spirit. He deserves happiness. And I am determined to be that for him. And Tim.

And me.

I have A LOT of personal growth ahead of me. I’m excited. And kind of scared.

Happy 2014.

The Year of Inner Change.

life goals

First off, I know I keep talking about how tired I am. It’s because I’m obsessed with sleep, so, apologies if it’s getting old. You go four plus months with only around two hours of sleep at a time – average – and then come talk to me (if you’re able to have a coherent conversation. Because I’m not).

(and that sounded harsher than I meant. Maybe imagine hearts over the I’s and lots of smileys at the end)

Moving on….

I don’t think I’ve shared this before, maybe I have…but one of my lifetime goals is to complete an Ironman triathlon. And FYI that is a 2.4 mile open water swim followed by a 112 mile bike ride followed by running a full marathon (26.2 miles) followed by collapsing from the effort followed by the biggest meal I’ll probably ever eat followed by sleeping for three days straight.

I’ve yet to even do a sprint tri (the shortest kind)…but I feel like that kind of event is something that would be the ultimate challenge, mentally and physically. I know I would need a trainer, for sure, to get me through the grueling training.

And I’d have to find the time to train….this would probably be a “before I’m 40” bucket list item. Tim’s goal was to run a full marathon – and he did it – twice (go Tim!).

My goal is slightly more intense.

I blame the years and years and years of playing competitive sports. I love physically challenging myself, pushing myself to the brink of my physical and mental capacity. I’m pretty sure anIronman would do that.

As would training for the Boston marathon, another desire of mine. I’d love love love to qualify for Boston. Looooove. Again, I’d need a trainer because the kind of speed work and hill work and pace runs needed to get fast enough to qualify would require someone screaming obscenities in my ear the entire time, probably. Definitely.

And I’m sure I’d be screaming right back.

But the pain and agony would be worth it. So, so worth it.

I’m not a fast runner, so getting my body to the point it can run around eight minute miles for 26.2 miles? Muy dificle.

(Tim and I are determined to learn Spanish…gotta start somewhere, right?)

I used to be a decent swimmer and swam on a swim team for six years, so I’m not as worried about that….and I’d have to harden my butt for 112 miles in the saddle….it’s the running FAST FOR HOURS that scares me the most.

But I want to do those two things SO BADLY.

I just need to start. And step one is making my goal public so I end up being held accountable.


this is where you ask those burning questions

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