Posts Tagged 'family'

one hundred months

Today is Tim and my 100-month-a-versary!

And it’s also the first day of spring.

I know. We so planned it to work out this way.

We’ve gone from this:
Copy of 103_0344

To this:
To this.
And it just keeps getting better.

And more delayed. Obviously that’s our Christmas picture and obviously we haven’t had another chance for a “we all showered and put on real clothes” photo op.

the big 3-0

So… birthday is Saturday. Groundhog’s Day.

I’m going to be thirty.



It still hasn’t really sunk in, yet.

Once, a long time ago, I said I wanted to be finished having kids by now.

Obviously, that didn’t happen.

I did say that I would do a lot of things before 30.

And I have.

Marathons, traveling, getting married, moving across the country, having a kid, oh my!

But, being the list-type person that I am, I think I need to make another list…a before 40 list…


Also? Please send everyone you know right to this spot to tell me thirty is the new awesome.

And I really would write more, but I’m currently off celebrating in style.

More on that later…

dear kellan – month 11

Wow, mister. I really cannot believe that the next time I write a letter to you you’ll be a year old! ONE WHOLE YEAR! That is truly mind boggling. I’m still not sure how time is going by so quickly.

This month has been nothing short of eventful – as all have been. I guess that’s why time is flying…we are so busy with everything! Everything is fun and new and an experience for you and it is such a joy to watch those gears in your head turn as you figure things out or see or do something new.

Granted, some things never change. Like, for instance, your love of the boob. I went to a workout class (12/20) – once – at night with a friend and your daddy took care of you while I was gone. When I came home, though? You were sooooo ready for bed. It was pretty much past your bedtime and as soon as I walked into the door, I took you upstairs to go to sleep – no shower. No food. Nothing. My brain was focused on getting you to sleep and I had missed you! Even when I’m away for an hour I still miss you! Anyhow, so we get upstairs and I sat you on the bed while I changed clothes to put a nursing tank on. I was leaning against the bed to make sure you didn’t fall off, and the second my shirt came off, you looked at my chest, said, “DAT!” leaned forward and faced planted into my boob. I couldn’t help but laugh. And you’ve done it again, too. It tends to happen when you are really tired. Or when you don’t want me to get up from the bed while you are napping – which has been a constant thing towards the end of the month. Just the other day, I tried to get up, you woke up (you still use your legs as your early warning system. You lay them on my thigh and the second they go horizontal, you start to stir), looked at me as I had juuuuust gotten out of bed, and started crying. I laid back down and you looked right at my boob, said “DAT” and immediately latched on and fell back asleep. Oy.

It is funny…at the beginning of the month, you actually started falling asleep without nursing, which was a huge, huge deal. On Christmas Eve, you did your usual nursing thing but then, you let go, rolled over onto your back and then fell asleep. It was such a happy, yet kind of sad, moment all at once. I was so proud of you for going into dream world all by yourself but in the same breath…you did it. All by yourself.

Maybe it had something to do with you being sick? I am not sure. We thought you were on the upswing at that point. Oh, wait. Let me back up a minute.

The weekend before Christmas (12/22), you got really sick. I woke up around three in the morning with you, kind of moaning in your sleep, and I knew something wasn’t right. You were so hot! Granted, you sweat a lot at night anyway, but this was a different kind of hot. Like, fever hot. Sick hot. Sure enough, you woke up and were crying and very sad. Your daddy and I took your temperature and it was close to 103 – which is the highest your temperature has ever been. You had randomly thrown up – like projectile vomit – all over your father the night before. We thought it was because you had gotten really, really hysterical over us trying to give you Tylenol. I was trying to wipe your face off with a cloth and your daddy was holding you…and then…you…vomited. Everywhere. The look on your daddy’s face…well, he was still trying to figure out what was going on even after I took you from him and told him to go change his clothes.

Turns out, it had nothing to do with the Tylenol and everything to do with you not feeling well.

By 6:30 in the morning, I called the nurse hotline because you just wouldn’t settle down and your fever was so high! Based on the symptoms you had, they sent us to the Emergency Room. We went to the Children’s Hospital, which is close to where we live, thankfully.

After being there for a few hours and a dose of ibuprofen later, they sent us home because they couldn’t find anything wrong with you that was serious enough to admit you. We were just supposed to wait and see if anything changed or if you got worse. You didn’t. You got better, actually, after a few days, just in time for Christmas. The fever preceded a really nasty cold, so you had a hard time breathing at night but we did everything we could to make you as comfortable as possible.

Christmas came…and went. You got lots of awesome toys and things and it took us all day to open everything. We had to pause for multiple nap breaks. It was ok, though, because it made Christmas last all day, which was nice. We talked to you Mimi and Uncles Jeff, Mason and Troy and also Nonni and Papa, Aunt Kristen, Cousin Colton, Aunt Abbie and Uncle Josh…and Uncle Ryan (whew!) on FaceTime, too. The whole day was really laid back and low key, which was nice because every day and weekend had felt a little hectic leading up to Christmas.

Oh, and can I just mention that you used to not mind taking Tylenol (or whatever medicine) from a syringe, but after the nurse at the hospital basically force-fed you ibuprofen while you screamed and screamed (and I held you…but you still screamed), you now fight EVERYTHING that comes in a syringe.

This wasn’t exactly a good thing, considering you got sick – again – right after New Year’s (1/2 – 1/3). Sick as in the first day your daddy went back to work after twelve days off, I was doing dishes and you were playing in your cabinet in the kitchen when you started crying this weird cry. I went over, knelt down to see what was wrong and….yup. Projectile vomit. All over everything. Except this time it kept coming…and coming…and coming. I tried to tell you it was ok while I picked you up and made an attempt to get to the sink (didn’t work out so well) to contain the spewing but you were scared and crying and very, very upset. I totally get it – throwing up is scary and upsetting. I don’t like it, either.

So, enough with the sick talk, eh? How about we move onto…..sounds! Like how you whip your head around at every little one. Your daddy is the same way (and mommy, too, according to daddy…). It is kind of a pain, though, when you are allllmost asleep and then Chloe jumps on the bed (she makes like brrrrrt! sound when she does). You jump and turn to look to see what is going on that is way more interesting than dream world. Then we have to start the sleep process all over again…1!!”

Also, you have started saying whoa! and wow! – and at the appropriate times, too, like one day (12/21) while I was holding you at the grocery store and you were pushing a standing sign. When you pushed it, I said, “whoa!” and then you said it, too. It was so funny! Mommy and daddy didn’t realize we said it as much as we do until you started saying it, too.

Also? When you are tired you have begun doing this thing with your fist where you’ll rub below your eye down to your nose down to mouth. When your fingers hit your mouth, you make a funny sound, part pitiful moaning part sound like when you hum and move fingers back and forth over your lips.

Lately, it seems, though, that you are more interested in your gross motor skills. Yay! You are now able to go from sitting to your belly much easier and you are more willing to do so. Sometimes you do this middle split thing and then put your belly on the ground and then slide your legs behind you (wow, flexibility!) and other times you kind of bend on leg, put if behind you and sort of push yourself to your belly. And now, to encourage you to move, I will do this thing where I move away from you and then tell you to touch my hands and then I’ll pick you up.

It didn’t take long for you to figure out this game. Maybe one time. Whenever I say that, you do your worm/army crawl/roll thing to get as close as you can where your fingertip will juuuuuust barely touch mine. Then, you slowly put your arm and hand out, touch the very tip of my finger with your and then look up at me like, “Ok! I did it! Pick me up!”

It’s really funny.

You are much better at communicating what you want, too. Like, if you are sitting on the floor or in your high chair and have decided you want to be picked up NOW? You wave both your arms in the air like, “Mom…mom…mom…mom….” and you do this huffing thing at the same time. It’s quite obvious as to what you want because the second I (or daddy) pick you up?

Happy as a clam.

So, anyhow, you also mostly pulled up for the first time while daddy was home on vacation over the holidays (12/27). You were sitting on my leg and pulled up using the two stacked wicker trunks in the loft to try and reach the fake flowers sitting on top. Daddy got it on video! And you really are, still, our little botanist!

You have also gotten more daring on the bed – which is kind of scary, considering you sleep there and it is a loooooong way down if you fall (and we only use pillows as a barrier at the moment). Except now, you have started playing with the pillows meant to keep you from rolling off. You pull them on top of you like a game. I’m guessing within the next month or so we are going to have to figure out another way to keep you safe while you are sleeping…(oh, we are still co-sleeping. It’s your favorite.). We bought you a stuffed pig and a blanket and have you sleep with them every night, now. Hopefully you’ll end up using them as lovies…we decided to name the pig Slumber.

Other things…you now looooooove to touch mommy and daddys face parts like our noses and ears. If we ask you where our nose is, you’ll touch it. You don’t touch your own yet, though. You will give us “five” if we ask (or ten…fifteen…twenty…). When you are concentrating really hard, you stick your tongue out. It is super cute. Right at the end of this month, we started making an obstacle course for you with the couch, ottoman and such, for you to try to walk on your own. You are getting better and better at it every day, though your favorite is still for us to hold your hands while you walk everywhere…or kick a ball all over the place. It is really amazing to watch you do that – kick the ball. Not only is it intentional, you do it with such force! And you laugh when you connect really well…you are so proud of yourself – as you should be. It seems walking is right around the corner. At least that is what everyone who sees you walking around tells us.

You still love, love, love reading. LOVE reading. You get such a cute smile every time we start a book. I hope you continue to love it as much as you do now.

Also, you are beginning to “discover” how things work. Like, the other day while I was taking you for a walk in the stroller, you squeaked Sophie the giraffe and then it’s like you all of a sudden realized the sound was coming from a little hole in her back (1/16). So, you did your own little experiment and would squeak Sophie and then touch the hole and then squeak Sophie…it was incredible to watch you. You did the same thing with this water duck thing that has a drawstring propeller (1/17). There are wheels on the bottom that makes it move forward in the water and you discovered the wheels during your bath and would spin the wheels with your fingers and then touch the propeller and then spin the wheels. Even daddy was amazed at how your brain was working to figure it out. The fact that things like this just…happen…without any prompting from us…is just…amazing.

I think the separation anxiety is really starting to kick in, too. I can’t seem to go more than two inches away from you before you start crying – full on tears and everything. Sometimes you even get onto your belly and try to come after me, though most times you just sit there and cry, looking absolutely pitiful. The other day (1/7) while we were doing the self check out at the grocery store, one of the employees came over and started talking to you and WOWZA. You started bawling. It was so sad! I picked you up and carried you out of the store while pushing the grocery cart. It was the only way…

Your current favorite food? Organic ritz-style crackers. You will eat those any time – day or night. I have to feed you other foods, like fruit (strawberries) or veggies (peas…you seem to like those now) before I bust out the crackers or cinnamon toast or else that’s all you’ll eat (the crackers or the toast). You will eat an entire container of yogurt, now, though. The whole thing! It’s incredible how much that little tummy can fit!

I love it when you play with your hair. You kind of twirl it in your fingers…it is so cute….so endearing…

Oh, let me end on this little story. We went to this Toddler’s and Tantrums presentation at a mom’s house with a bunch of other mom’s from the group. And, well, first off, you fell while trying to reach a big lego brick and hit your head on the sliding glass door. You started getting really upset but I tried to distract you with other toys and that seemed to work fine. Then…THEN…during the presentation by this psychologist woman (who really didn’t tell us anything helpful), you took a giant poo. GIANT. Basically as if you were saying, “Let’s move onto something more important here, guys…”

It was funny and also slightly embarrassing at the same time. Though, truthfully? Thanks for tagging us out of that presentation. I wasn’t really all that into it, anyway.

Well, I really cannot believe that the next time I write…you’ll be a year old. I know I already said that…but it is just…wow. I really cannot believe it.

I love you so, so much. You are such a bright, wonderful, joyful little man and watching you grow and develop is more fun than I would have ever imagined.


PS: You’ve learned how to give hugs when we are holding you. If we ask for a hug, you’ll put your head down on our shoulder while we squeeze you tight. It is the best, best thing ever. We love your hugs.

merry christmas!

I know not everyone celebrates Christmas…but we do…so in honor of today – also known as Christmas – I wanted to wish all of you a happy day filled with lots of fun and joy and laughter.

This is our Christmas card.

And now I’m sharing it with you.

Because you are awesome.

I am so thankful that you are here, reading this.

Merry Christmas 2012 (B&W) Holiday Reindeer 2

PS: I’m the reindeer on the left. Tim is the right. Kellan the middle. Obviously.

just be

Happy Christmas Eve! It’s supposed to snow for Christmas this year.

I’m very excited.

We baked cookies yesterday.

Baked and baked and baked.

And baked.

We still have one more batch to bake, but only because the dough requires overnight refrigeration. I saw a recipe for the best chocolate chip cookies from an old NY Times article and decided that now is as good a time as any to try them.

The recipe still scares me.

Just check out the first sentence on the step where us *normal* people would just drop a rounded teaspoon on a pan and call it a day.


We’ll see how they turn out.

After, of course, I turn all of the vertical chips to a more eye pleasing horizontal position.

Between all of the baking, I dealt with an on-the-mend-clingy-sick baby and Tim dropped off/picked up the dogs off from getting groomed.

Everybody is going to be clean for Christmas. Every. Body.

Why so much baking?

Because I decided we had to make cookies (plain, easy chocolate chip and peanut butter) for the Post Office and Police Department as part of our random acts of kindness.
20121223-173900.jpgThey better like them, is all I’m saying.

I have no idea what is wrong with me, either.

We also made *our* cookies — Hazelnut-but-really-pecan balls and Jammies. And the dough for the crazy ingredient chocolate chip cookies.

20121223-173505.jpgThe powdered sugar on the Jammies got a little out of control. I blame sleep deprivation.

20121223-173616.jpgFive Four batches. All baked.

Lucky number six five tomorrow.

Obviously I can’t count.

Oh, and we wrapped Kellan’s gifts. I think we are done wrapping, now, wrapping and baking and cleaning.

Tomorrow should be way chill, minus the aforementioned cookie delivery and the rolling of sausage balls for Christmas morning. We do it classy here, people — cookies and sausage balls and OJ.

And it’s awesome.

Also? To anyone and everyone who has family nearby?

Thank them. Appreciate them. Roll your eyes one less time at them.

It is really, really hard to raise and care for a child on your own AND do evvvvvverrythiiiinnng else all by yourself. And by “yourself” I mean our little family of three

It’s really hard.

I currently dangling at my wits end. Just so you’re in the loop as to my current state. Too much. There is too much going on. I’ll be glad when it’s over and I can have a minute to myself to just BE.

our first ER experience

Our #26Acts of kindness has been delayed, slightly, due to one baby who woke up at 3am yesterday morning. SICK.

It started the night before with an episode of projectile vomit. The vomit story would have ended there, except when it happened, Tim happened to be holding him and I was patting his back (he was crying…and coughing…following a mostly failed attempt at a dose of Tylenol).

Kellan burped once. Twice. Three times annnnd BAM.

Projectile vomit.


He stood there, staring at me in silence, while his eyes were screaming, “THE. F. THERE IS PUKE ALL OVER ME. OMG. ALL. OVER. MY. PERSON. PUKE. O.M.G.”

It took me a few seconds to react, and when I finally did, I went into the kitchen, brought back a paper towel, realized that was like trying to stem the dam with a toothpick, and was all, “Give him to me.”

And I tossed the paper towel on the floor.

Tim immediately went upstairs to change and toss his soiled clothes in the wash.

I’m not even exaggerating, you guys. It was EVERYWHERE.

After Kellan went to bed, Tim was like, “Smell my neck. Sour, isn’t it?”

Niiiiiice, honey.

Anyway, fast forward to 3am.

Wide awake Kellan, who had been moaning in his sleep. He felt super hot and I knew – I knew – something was amiss.

We got up, took his temperature and, yay. 102.6.

This child has never had a fever that high. His normal temperature is low, too.

He was miserable. He wouldn’t stop crying. He couldn’t go back to sleep.

Finally, I called the nurse hotline and based on his symptoms, the nurse I was speaking with was like, “You need to go ahead and take him to the ER.”

Stomach. Drop.

I went back into the bedroom and told Tim what we had to do. I barely got the words out. I almost completely broke down in tears. Somehow, I held it together and we gathered our things and headed out.

Did we brush our teeth? Put on normal clothes? Do anything to look presentable?


Tim handed me a listerine breath strip on the way.

Kellan almost fell asleep on the short (thank goodness) drive to Children’s.

He woke up when we stopped the car and didn’t stop crying until after triage, being admitted into a room, initial check by a nurse, lots of waiting, another check by a nurse, a visit from another nirse who brought toys and then, finally, maybe fifteen minutes after he was given some ibuprofen. And that went down with a fight and lots of tears.

He was calm by the time the doctor came in, thankfully.

She checked him out and we waited, again, to see of his heart rate and breathing rate would come down – and they did. I had no idea that those two things were a big deal with babies. Now I know.

So, we went home with a “wait and see” directive, since his ears and throat looked good, his abdomen looked good and his lungs weren’t showing signs of pneumonia.

Probably a virus, they said.

Go back to the doctor if his fever isn’t gone in three days, they said.

All of this…for a virus. Or something.

Do we feel silly for going to the ER?

Absolutely not.

When the nurse says go, you go.

However, Tim and I have learned that this child does not do fevers well. The kid with a 103 temp who is playing happily and still has an appetite?

Not ours.

Fingers crossed he gets better soon and isn’t sick for his first Christmas. How sad would that be?

I’m actually having a difficult, time at the moment, even caring about what I got Tim or Kellan or anyone else or what anyone else got me, for that matter. I just want Kellan to feel better. That’s pretty much all I’m thinking about and focused on right now.


#26Acts continued…

More of our random acts of kindness. Spreading the joy…one small moment at a time.

$5.00 Starbucks gift cards…


Given to random cars in a thrift store parking lot.


A sweet treat for our mail person.


For our pizza delivery guy…


He was only a kid — no older than twenty. I hope that small bit of joy helps him in some way…

Also? I love the saying on the front of the cards. It is so true. And it is something we all should strive to do, I think, even if it is just a simple “hello” and a smile to a person who looks like they need it.


I have to remind myself to find the joy in doing these random acts of kindness. I think, sometimes, well, probably most of the time, I get too wrapped up in the task itself – in executing and completing it – that I don’t stop and think about what I’m actually doing.

Helping someone.

Making another person smile.

Being kind.

this is where you ask those burning questions

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