dusting me off

Wow okay soooooooooooo


I looked back and realized I had not written anything here since I think March 2015.

That’s a really long time. And my life today is absolutely zero like it was back then. Back then it was uncomplicated (compared to now). It was easy. It was pretty happy. Simple. It was a lot of things that it hasn’t been for a long time and that it still isn’t.
But, that’s not the point really. 

Point is, I came across this post I wrote three years ago today. I read it and I realized I haven’t become that shiny happy person at all. If anything I have gone backward due to life being life and throwing multiple, very difficult and painful, giant balls at me and my family in 2015. I won’t even call them curve balls because these balls legit hit me straight on in the gut and face and really just everywhere. 
There was no curving. 

Only hitting.

So, it’s been a long road just to get back to even ground. To dig out of the hole I was buried in. But, I’ve come to realize that *not* writing over the last almost two years hasn’t been helping. I mean, I write about life. I share about my life…and then 2015 happened where I couldn’t write about life at all…for various reasons that unfortunately still hold true to this day. There are so many things that have happened…both good and bad, wonderful and devastating…and I have had to keep them all to myself and a very, very small group of people. 

It’s really no fun. 

At all. 

Some people have mentioned I should start an anonymous blog…but for whatever reason, posting things as a person with no name is 100% not me. I have no interest in that.

One day I will share all the things that have happened…but not today…today my point, since I’m obviously scatterbrained at the moment, is that I need to try to become the shiny happy person I wrote about years ago, even though doing that feels harder now than it was back then. It probably isn’t, it’s really just a mindset and teaching my brain how to be present in the moment…listening to hear versus listening to respond…all that mumbo jumbo that’s actually true. That’s what I need to do…

I have also realized that I really miss writing and need to start again. 

Hence this post.
You’re so very welcome.

I know you’re thrilled.

Even though it’s completely and ridiculously vague.

It’s still a post though. Give a girl some credit.


14 Responses to “dusting me off”

  1. 1 Joann January 1, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    I’ve missed seeing your posts. Hope your footing gets stronger!

  2. 3 Jamie Downs January 1, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Good to see you’re back writing. Wishing you and yours a very happy new year!

  3. 5 Debbie Q January 1, 2017 at 9:09 pm

    Hurrah!! I have missed your voice.

  4. 7 lucindalines January 1, 2017 at 11:33 pm

    Glad you have returned to the blog. Hope things are better in the new year. God be with you all.

  5. 8 Ashleigh Beaudoin January 1, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    Jessica, I was so so so so so happy to see your name in my inbox. You have been on my mind and in my heart this whole time. I read your blog consistently for so long, and feel grief for you always. Share what you feel when and if you’re ready. Getting to even ground took me years also, and I know climbing up any farther can feel like long old shlep on even the best day. So proud of you, my internet friend.

  6. 9 Jessica Liston January 2, 2017 at 7:29 am

    So glad you are writing again!

  7. 10 Pat January 2, 2017 at 8:47 am

    So glad to see your post. Hope you are on your are on your way. I have missed you! Much love.

  8. 11 Sanibel January 3, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Ah! I friend! So glad to see you back in the blog world! Take it from me, having to be anonymous, it sucks but my only way to really write what I want now. But writing something is better than nothing.

  9. 13 mrsloquacious1 January 13, 2017 at 11:44 am

    I have missed you lady!! Feel free to email me a cathartic lengthy synopsis that I will promptly delete for the sake of preserving both your sanity and your privacy! 😘 It’s so good to see you writing again; welcome back!

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