it’s rolling away!

So, let it be known that we bought a $20 watermelon the other weekend.

Yes, you read that correctly.

A twenty dollar watermelon.

Twenty. Dollars.

An entire Jackson dedicated to a single piece of fruit.

Since moving to Arkansas, we have had to drive basically an hour both ways to the grocery store. Where we live has exactly zero options for organic produce. I know. I’m so annoying. Just buy the other kind. Except, I can’t. Now that I know what I know about GMOs and what we are doing to our food these days…it actually hurts my soul to buy any produce without a 9 in the front of its little fruit code. My bananas? 94011. So, we drive every weekend to the only – and I mean only grocery store with a decent selection of produce that is within close proximity. Why not Whole Foods, you say?

I think the closest Whole Foods is two hours away.

We live in the sticks, you guys. At least when it comes to healthy eating options.

Anyway, on one such trip to said grocery store, I let Kellan pick out a watermelon on the way in. They were in one of those giant cardboard bin things and the kid loves watermelon. It’s only good in the summer. Who am I to deny him?

We go about our business buying the remainder of what is on our list and finally get to the checkout. The girl behind the counter was brand spanking new. She had the cheat sheet explaining how to scan everything literally two inches in front of her face and was struggling with how to do the watermelon, so she had to save it for last so she could ask someone to help her.

Finally, whoever was in the checkout counter next to us told her what to put in and she did while Tim, watching the screen to see how much everything is, sees the watermelon price pop up, looks at her and goes, “The watermelon is how much?”

“Twenty dollars.”

Tim: “Twenty dollars?” Obviously he’s sure she punched something…multiple somethings…in wrong.

“Yes sir! Twenty dollars!” She says with a smile. Because I guess this is a normal occurrence here. Twenty dollar watermelons.

Tim looks at me, his eyes about to bug out of his head like what in the world kind of watermelon is this?!

I just look back at him completely innocent all I have no idea. It’s organic? (But seriously that’s ridiculous for a watermelon).

Me: Do you want me to put it back? (This is always the response when the husband is about to have a coronary over the price of anything. You’ll see why…)

Tim: No.

Me: Are you sure?

Tim, through gritted teeth: NO.

Tim was not going to be shamed by a watermelon.

Right before Tim lifted our precious cargo into the cart, the guy waiting in line behind us looks at him dead in the eye and says, “better savor it, man.”

****

My story was actually going to end there, until our watermelon drama continued today. Except it wasn’t twenty dollars. Instead, it was poorly secured (read: not at all) in the back of my car. I have a Highlander and if your groceries aren’t properly stowed, they’re going to roll around everywhere.

Somehow, the watermelon Kellan and I bought today managed to escape its little nook and was rooooolllling all the way to the left and then rooooollllllling all the way to the right every time I turned a corner, all the way home.

When we made it to the garage, I took Kellan out the the car and then opened the back hatch to get the groceries. The watermelon was right at the edge, basically about to fall onto the bumper.

Before I could load my arms with all the bags of groceries my arms could possibly carry and do the grocery bag shuffle to the house – because that’s what you do when you have a toddler – I went to unlock the door and put my purse on the counter. Past experience has taught me not to have a locked door and a million grocery bags. New moms take heed.

Right before I went inside, I hear this dull thud. In that moment I knew. I knew what had just happened.

Kellan! Did you crash the watermelon to the ground?? The hard, cold, concrete ground….

The response was a very happy “Yes!”

“It’s ruined!” I yell back.  I know this because just a week or so ago, a watermelon fell out of the back of my car and when we got it home, it was completely ruined inside. You’d think I’d learn to strap that baby into the seat by now.

I put my purse down and turned back to go to the garage to survey the damage when I hear a panicked Kellan yelling, “Oh no! It’s rolling away! Oh no! It’s rolling away!!!!”

In the ten seconds it took me to put up my purse and make it back out to the garage, our watermelon had managed to find its way out of the garage to our downward sloping driveway and tried to make a run for it.

Where is it? I asked Kellan, between fits of laughter. I knew that in his mind, he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. He crashed his watermelon to the ground (haha! Look at what I did!) and now, now it was paying him back. Cause and effect in the greatest of lessons.

There! Down there! In the road!

We have taught Kellan that the road is for cars and if one is coming, we move to the grass because we have no sidewalk here. He knows the road is no place for a kid or a watermelon to just casually meander.

Kellan points frantically to the gutter all the way across the street, looking at me like, “Why are you just standing there and laughing, mom? This is an emergency! The watermelon! It’s rolling away! It’s in the road!”

 

 

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4 Responses to “it’s rolling away!”


  1. 1 Sanibel August 19, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Oh that was just too funny. I love that kid. Poor thing.

  2. 2 Franzi August 22, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    could you grow your own produce to help make less trips? def a fun activity for the whole family


  1. 1 the grapetastrophy – chickenbees Trackback on August 10, 2017 at 2:02 pm

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