And the happiness continues…
Also – FYI – I post on Instagram (jessicabold) pretty much daily, if you’d rather not wait for the monthly wrap up…
My 365 days of thankfulness. I reflected on the one thing I was most thankful for at the end of every day as part of my journey to live a happy, positive life…and FYI it’s not exactly a cake walk to change into Miss. Super Happy. It’s a real struggle some days….a real struggle.
…but this is what happened….in March.
March 1: reminiscing about old board games (Uno! Risk! (That’s all Tim) Candy Land! (this one is all me) Trivial Pursuit! Chess! Chutes and Ladders!) we used to play and how we can’t wait to have “game night” with Kellan. And also how when I ran out to get the mail before dinner, I go, “after these messages, I’ll be right back.” And then Tim sings the jingle I was referencing. I didn’t think he’d get it. But he did. And it cracked me up.
March 2: getting sh*t done.
March 3: The weather being nice enough for a family walk after dinner. I really enjoy them and it has been actual MONTHS since we have been able to do this. Also: pretty sunset.
March 4: a fun morning outside! Finally! Spring is coming! I won’t even mention how it’s supposed to snow tonight….and Friday….and next week…
March 5: Finding my “homesteading” twin!
March 6: Friends. Friends who randomly make me treats. Friends who listen. Friends who let me borrow their washer/dryer.
March 7: Tax return!!
March 8: A gorgeous day. A lovely family walk. And an impromptu snowball fight in 50 degree weather (Kellan won).
March 9: The Container Store. And pantry reorganization.
March 10: Horses! I had no idea Kellan would like seeing them IN REAL LIFE UPCLOSE so much.
March 11: Kellan doing really well on our impromptu errand to the vet (cat annual check ups/bagel date while waiting for the vet to finish (when we got to the bagel place he said “I’m excited!”).
March 12: Realizing that Kellan wanted/needed to just talk about whatever (guessing it will start to be things he is unsure/confused/frightened about before going to bed. Tonight it started with him saying…kind of out of the blue… that he didn’t want to be afraid of the loud and booming Ratatouille (thank you crazy person in the beginning shooting a shotgun at the rat in your kitchen. Overreaction, much? Related: will be pre-screening all movies now). I am partly wondering if some of the nights where he is AWAKE. FOR. HOURS. (Think 1-4 am) is because he needs to talk about/work through these kinds of things before falling asleepand I wasn’t really giving him the proper outlet/platform before going to bed. Wow. I feel slightly enlightened, now.
March 13 (note – apparent “breakthrough” from yesterday was all for naught. Awake again from 3:30/4 – almost 6am) (second note: even though I *am* actually thankful for something every day, the whole morph into the happiest person ever isn’t exactly going swimmingly. I guess this is a rough patch. So much personal drama weighing me down): Anyway, I am thankful for me hitting the paste button – accidentally – while writing out my thankfulness – but the thing that was pasted went in the perfect spot. It’s amazing. And funny…Just…read to the end. The original thankfulness started with …”I struggle…” below:
…..I struggle coming up with something on days where the end of the day wasn’t very fun/full of irritation….and all I really do is lay here and think about all the things…but I am very thankful for ….Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so… (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) “We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.” (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) “It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving.” (Phoebe nods her approval.) “We too can share and love and have and receive.” ….and now for the actual thankful thing I was typing….a friend who willingly helps me out in a moments notice. Literally one text saying I need help in less than 24 hours and in sum, the response is, “No problem.”
(I had copied/pasted that Friends excerpt from Joey for a text message to Tim earlier today and in the funny way life works, it made a second appearance and made me laugh exactly when I needed it most)
March 14: Maternal instinct. As in Kellan somehow got a metal lid from a glass jar of juice lodged in his throat and the second I realized what was happening/heard Tim yell “KELLAN!” I was at the kitchen table/had Kellan bent over my arm/got the thing out in probably five seconds. Not even exaggerating. Also: I’m still recovering from being scared out of my mind, post actions (because I legit only acted on instinct/had zero conscious thought during it all) as is Tim.
March 15: realized the nights in a row of Kellan being awake for HOURS was exactly what I thought – developmental. His pretend play just took a turn for amazing. He’s not pretending things – like a chip clip – are other things – like a phone. And he’s “calling” people (currently Mr. Bloomsbury from the Curious George movie). And his play voices are changing/becoming more defined/vast/creative. He’s also practicing various facial expressions. I’m really glad I was right….that sounds kind of pompous….but I mean, I was right. And as a mom, that feels good. Also, while out and about, we legit saw a bald eagle circle a parking lot. I watched it swoop down and was all, “THAT WAS A BALD EAGLE!” And Tim was all, “I KNOW!” And then we tried to find it again while circling the parking lot and not paying attention to the road/almost hitting a car. But it was gone. SO COOL though. And so random. Why was it there? Hopefully just passing through….
March 16: the water/sand table. Guessing this purchase will be a life saver come summer.
March 17: I am pretty sure I wore zero green today. My bad. Anyhow, I am thankful for this…even though it meant I had to go clean up dog poo:
Kellan said he wanted to go outside. I took him out. He beelines to the grass. I said where are you going? He said, “To find dog poop!”
Oh. Also very thankful for an impromptu fun time making cookies (Kellan does it for the “batter.” Who needs cookies?)
March 18: OUR WASHER IS FIXED!!!!!! You have no idea how happy I am to be able to wash. clothes. in. my. own. house.
I’m also thankful for how incredibly blessed we are as a family. After reading this (it is pretty lengthy), my heart broke. Even growing up, my mom always made sure my brothers and I had “enough,” that we didn’t go without, that we had proper health/dental care. Even if it meant she did without. We did not have loads of money, and she still gives up so much for my younger brothers. My mom made sure we never felt the financial burden. What an incredible sacrifice. And I am so thankful that Tim works his ass off to provide such a comfortable life.
March 19: how much fun it was on an impromptu Kellan and mommy lunch date. Instead of food going everywhere and just general chaos, we actually talked and ate and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was really nice. Just ignore the no-utensil policy he has adopted.
March 20: so, today at the park, when one of Kellan's friends came over and asked him if he wanted to go swing, he says, VERBATIM: "no, thank you." I may not do everything right as a mom, and Tim may not do everything right as a dad, but we are most assuredly doing something right if our TWO YEAR OLD says “no, thank you.”
March 21: Tim hulled my 4 pints of strawberries. He said he was only doing half and I was in the kitchen trying to get other stuff done when Kellan asked to leave/do other stuff (he was in his learning tower, helping). So Kellan and I are in the family room and Tim goes, “I’m almost halfway done.” And then a few minutes later he comes in, says he’s finished, and we switch, I go into the kitchen, first make a comment about him leaving the chocolate basket out (doesn’t everyone have a chocolate basket in their pantry?) and then go to the kitchen island to start my half, look in the bowl of hulled berries, see a green leaf, and was all, “Green leaf! Quality control!”…..(the berries are for jam and who wants leaves in their jam?)…..and AS I SAY THAT, I look into the bowl of strawberries to hull….and it’s empty. Tim had done them all already. I just started cracking up, called myself a piece of work, and went back in the family room to thank him. Such a sweet surprise, even if it took me five minutes to see it.
March 22: learning how to make jam with friends (my first time)! Even if it didn’t set properly, it was still fun!
March 23: mini-organization. As in I RE-folded all of the clothes/got rid of old socks/etc in my dresser and removed all of the t-shirts I’ve accumulated from races from the closet. They live in a drawer, now. I won’t mention the box of t-shirts the basement….. #runnerprobs
March 24: So, this nice older lady sat right next to me at Whole Foods in the dining area (got Kellan some lunch). She was probably 70s or so? Anyway at first I was like WHY are you sitting next to me and then Kellan tried to start talking to her, so I softened and just went with it. It was really sweet. He kept telling/showing her what he was eating/drinking, and then kept saying “what’s he called?” And finally I realized he was asking what her name was, so I asked him if he was asking what her name was. He said yes, so she told him. Then she asked his name. He told her. And he hept on talking, talking to her. She finally asked how old he was and I said two and she was like WOW. It was all really sweet and for all I know, it might have made her day just a little brighter, so it was worth me being more willing to open up and be kind instead of wrapped up in my world. When she left, kellan kept asking where “Patricia” went.
March 25: after saying I love you and goodnight to Kellan, he goes, “I love you too!” And he never really answers me when I say that, more like a silent, “Duh.” So hearing that response? Heart melt.
March 26: when walking to the reservoir with Kellan today (in stroller), we were just talking about whatever….and all of a sudden i was like, wow. He is so much fun right now. We can actually have a real conversation where he has an opinion. And in general, he’s just a lot of fun to do stuff with. I told him this, how much fun I had/was having with him and how enjoyable his company was every day.
March 27: Tim is home safely!
March 28: Starting over. Basically, marriage is hard.
March 29: Kellan seeing horses up close for the first time during a random trip to a local trail we FINALLY decided to visit. He loved it/wasn’t scared at all. He loves horses…no idea why. We will be talking about Jasper and Dandy for awhile, I am sure.
March 30: success with the Thomas and Lightning McQueen bubble blowers/impulse buy at the grocery store!
March 31: Tim paying it forward at Chick-fil-a.