I’ve had many people I considered friends over the years. Some…I have no idea where they are or how they’re doing. Others I keep tabs with on Facebook (that’s a stalker sentence if I’ve ever heard one…but you know what I mean). And some I actually still see in person.
What qualifies someone actually being your friend? As in, they aren’t your “friend” because they feel obligated or because they see some benefit to themselves in hanging out with you. And by benefit I don’t mean just being around you because you’re awesome and they like your company.
(I’m excluding all bloggy friends in this post. You are in a totally separate category and I wish we all lived closer. I’m looking at you, Shannon, Jo, Jess, Carrie….the list goes on)
I will never understand why girls…women…are so catty. It must be in our DNA or something. I mean, not every girl is catty all the time.
But let’s be honest.
We all have our moments. I’m not perfect and I never will be, but, I do try to be a good friend to those who I consider friends. I try. Where I get stuck is when I feel like I’m the only one trying. Or I’m trying to be friends with those people who are your pity friends. Like, I don’t really *want* to be good friends but let’s hang out because I also don’t want to hurt your feelings and say no. I mean, really. It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends. We can be “Hi, how are you?” acquaintances or we can never speak again. Either way, we will both survive.
I am lucky enough to have two people in my life now I consider true friends who I know, without a doubt, I could count on, regardless of the situation, the time of day or night, whatever. Even if my emergency need was 100% inconvenient for them, they would never say otherwise. They would be there.
Grants, two is more than some people have, though I still struggle with building friendships with others when I’m not sure of their intentions…or if I’m only considered a friend when it’s convenient for them. Or…the list goes on. Sigh. I need a sandbox and a neat snack. That seemed to work as a kid.