it’s the giant diarrhea poo that gets you

We have had a ridiculous amount of sickness in our house this year.

And I don’t like it.

I’m not used to being sick or getting sick or dealing with SICK.

Tim pretty much has to have a 104 degree fever before I relent and become sympathetic. I know. My sympathy bone isn’t very strong. It’s a work in progress.

When it comes to Kellan being sick, I’m always sympathetic and patient and all the things a mom should be (snot rag, barf catcher, all night nurse). It’s kind of disgusting to be able to add being both thrown up on and pooped on to my list of life achievements, but there it is.

The thing that took me by surprise the most is that when those things happen, I’m not grossed out. It’s like that queasy, gag reflex, freak out reaction gets put into a closet in my brain and I just go to work and do whatever needs to be done. And here’s the kicker – I do it in a completely calm state. I don’t even think about the actual reality that is warm barf running down my arms.

I guess that’s what happens when you become a mom. I would end that sentence with a question mark but there really is no point in doing so. That IS what happens. At least in my case.

Since the winter started, we (as in Kellan) have had probably three colds, two (possibly three…one kind of stopped and re-started with a few days respite in between) stomach bugs, a random virus that came with a fever and then turned into a cold, and herpangina. And probably a few other things I can’t remember.

O.M.G.

I don’t think I’ve had that much sickness in my entire life.

The h-e-double hockey sticks?!

Suffice all of this sickness to say, I’ve learned how to decontaminate. And how to get at least a few hours of sleep with a kid-turned-snot-factory.

Our routine for colds goes something like this:

Constant-on cool mist humidifier in the room where he sleeps.

Roll up towels to elevate the top part of the bed to allow gravity to assist in the snot drainage.

Bulb syringe snot evacuation and then squirt saline spray in his nose throughout the day.

At night, Tim turns the shower on as hot as it will go and sits in the bathroom with Kellan for fifteen or so minutes, with a towel blocking the crack under the door to keep it as steamy as possible. Then he takes a bath in the steamed room to give him extra steam time.

Post bath it’s more bulb syringe time (we tried Nose Frida…didn’t work as well/Kellan freaked out). Saline spray. Baby Vicks on his feet and then cover with socks. Keep the humidifier going and if he seems like he is in pain, Tylenol.

I really think colds are the worst. When Kellan can’t breathe, he wakes up AT ALL HOURS. If he has a stomach bug, at least he sleeps….until his stomach starts hurting and he wakes up crying and then takes the most giant, smelly diarrhea poo that no diaper will ever – ever – possibly contain, so much so that the poo has defied gravity and traveled all the way up to his neck in the span of the five seconds it takes you to realize what is happening and pick him up. So, now, we both require a complete outfit change and a bedding swap out and by the time everything is all said and done, everyone is wide awake and probably needs a shower. At 2am.

Oy.

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2 Responses to “it’s the giant diarrhea poo that gets you”


  1. 1 Brandy March 4, 2013 at 10:15 am

    All I’m going to say, Mommies are AMAZING!!!


  1. 1 very funny, universe | booshy Trackback on March 14, 2013 at 8:46 am

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