dear kellan: one year!

One year ago you and I we were confused and scared and wet and cold…or maybe it was just you who was wet and cold. I was actually about to pass out, thank you super long labor (12am Sunday morning to 6:37pm Sunday night) meds and no food for over twenty four hours. We have come a looooong way, you and me and daddy, in this past year. Who knew that our tiny little boy would become this vibrant baby with a sense of humor and strong personality in such a short time.

The other day, we were watching Alice in Wonderland for research purposes for your birthday (the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party). There is this part where she is singing in forest and all the animals (well, the things that are supposed to be animals) begin coming out and watching her sing. There is this duck that looks more like a horn on a bike. She has baby horn ducks and as they creep out of the bushes, one of the baby ducks ventures out in front of his mom and then he realizes how far away he is and turns around and runs back to his mom, hiding behind her back and then peeking up carefully from his protected position. That made me think of you and your clinginess. And it all made sense. You and that baby duck are one in the same.

All of the things you have been trying to do this month makes the clinginess even more pronounced. You have found your walking legs, though you still need us to hold your hands, and you want to walk everywhere. It seemed to start right at the beginning of the month when we when to the park with a friend (1/19) and you decided that you wanted to walk up and down the stairs on the playground and everywhere in between. Now, you want to walk up and down the stairs in the house, which is funny, because you take these huuuuge steps to try and walk up each step like we do, one foot and then the other, step after step. It is funny your legs are long enough to accomplish such a feat!

This month has been busy, for sure, but I feel like I say that every month. I guess we just like to do stuff – which is a good thing. You seem to love going places and experiencing everything. You have always been such an expressive child and your likes and dislikes come out more and more as each day passes. One of your funniest moments to date was when we were grocery shopping (1/21) and you somehow managed to get your Sophie teething giraffe underneath you and kept bouncing up and down, squeaking it, over and over and over. I finally clued in as to what was happening and took a video of it and sent it to America’s Funniest Videos. The whole exchange was hysterical. Not only had you made up your own game, but you answered my questions about Sophie (Where is Sophie? Sit! Can you squeak her? Yes!)

And then, as if I needed another example of your silliness, we went to breakfast with a friend a few days later (1/24), sans daddy (for both moms). I was holding you in the booth and then sat you down next to me for a minute so I could do something (who knows what it was, there was so much commotion with three kids and two moms and ordering food…). Then, when I picked you up to sit in my lap again, you didn’t have any pants on.


I looked at my friend like, “Um. Kellan took off his pants.”

Never a day goes by where you don’t crack us up. It is one of my favorite things about you…your ability to make us laugh, no matter what is going on.

So, let us talk about sleep for a second, shall we?

After a YEAR of me having no idea what kind of schedule you were trying to create when it came to naps and sleep, something happened, finally (1/25)!!

A pattern!

You now like to nap “around” 8am and 12pm for varied lengths of time and then bedtime is 6pm. Our bath routine is apparently really important, too, as that signals bedtime for you in a big, big way. If, for some reason, there isn’t a bath, it is really hard to get you to go to bed. We also have this thing where daddy takes you up to the bath to fill the tub and get you ready while I put out all the post-bath stuff. Then, I (still) get in the tub with you and daddy washes you and then he also does all of the post-bath stuff (diaper cream, lotion, etc). I lay down in bed to get ready to nurse you. Daddy lays you down and you wait for him to give you a kiss and say goodnight and then you nurse…and sleep.

If *I* try to do the daddy part of the routine?

Tears, usually.

I had no idea that the order of activity (and the person doing it) was so ingrained in your mind. It is kind of interesting to see it, though. It gives me insight on how you are and what you like. It helps me. So, thank you.

We went to San Diego for my birthday for a long weekend, and even though our nap routine was kind of scattered, we still did a bath with you every night, which really helped. You slept like a rock while we were there. You may have woken up once during the night, but that was it. I’m sure all of the activity during the day really wore you out. We went to the zoo and the beach and your favorite, favorite, favorite thing of the whole trip?

Concrete barriers to keep cars off the boardwalk.

I’m serious.

You went bananas over those things, “Touch! Touch! Touch!” every time we passed them.

It is nice you have a decent vocabulary, though, so we can communicate and understand what it is you want or need. You do have a word for everything you don’t know how to say. It’s “bup.” You do this hand thing that isn’t really pointing with a finger but more of an entitled wave thing that says “that, mummy, over there…yes, do kindly bring it to me.”

Anyhow, the day after we got home from San Diego, you had a horrible, horrible time sleeping. You would try to nurse but wouldn’t because you were in pain (that I thought was from teething), so you would just hold onto the boob and then fall back asleep. It was pitiful and sad. Turns out, it wasn’t just teething. You ended up getting really sick (2/6) and we had to take you to the ER (again) because you weren’t eating or drinking or nursing, which meant you weren’t peeing, though you had watery diarrhea that smelled like WHOA.

All of that meant you were getting dehydrated – hence ER visit.

Turns out, you had herpangina, which were these really awful blisters in the back of your throat, which was why you weren’t nursing. Apparently you probably got it in San Diego, since it lives in warmer climates and isn’t common in Colorado in the winter. I was kind of thinking I had the same thing, since I had been feeling blah, too, and my throat was killing me. I cannot even imagine how you felt.

Thanks, San Diego. Well, really, thanks airplanes and airports.

We went back to the ER again the next day (2/7) because you were still having diarrhea AND throwing up AND you weren’t drinking much of anything.

You were fine, though we were there for FOREVER because A: you were ok and B: they had a few super sick kiddos come in and they kind of forgot we were there. I mean, I totally understand but you were not very happy. You decided to pick your nose for the first time as we said goodbye to the doctor…pulled out a nasty long booger, too. I guess that was your, “I’ve wanted to leave for AN HOUR, this one’s for you” send off because you haven’t done it since.

Again with the sense of humor…

Granted, mommy and daddy were ready to get out, too.

And then? The next day?

I texted Tim around three in the morning, asking him if he was throwing up because I heard him go to the bathroom and I had been laying in bed, feeling awful and feverish and super, super sick. Turns out, he was throwing up and we were both feverish and sick. That whole weekend was terrible. I pretty much tried to lay in bed and keep the TV on to entertain you while Tim camped out in the bathroom, emptying the contents of everything.

I hope that never, ever happens again, the entire family sick and unable to do anything but basically survive. I am slightly thankful that you weren’t feeling 100%, because it meant you didn’t want to eat regular food or move around much, which was perfect for me.

We even decided to reschedule your birthday because we were all still in recovery mode. So, we will celebrate on March 9 with all of your friends.

No worries, though, we still had a little birthday celebration with you on your birthday with your Mimi, who came to see you for your birthday weekend (2/15-2/19). You had so much fun with her! I was worried that you would be a little apprehensive, since you had been so clingy, but you two got along like old pals. It was really cute to watch you two interact and play. She brought you books, too, and you love them! Your love and desire for reading is incredible! We read stories all the time. You could probably read stories all day long. Well, intermixed with watching Winnie the Pooh. You ask to watch it, now, by doing your hand wave thing at the TV. There is a part where a red balloon comes into the picture and you start saying “baba! baba!” in the scene right before the balloon one. That blows our minds! You anticipate!

I’m just going to do a quick run down of some of the other things that happened this month, since it seems like the older you get, the more things you accomplish in such a short time!

2/13: You pulled a pillow over your head to nurse and fell asleep like that for your afternoon nap. It was pretty funny.

2/15: You pulled up using the Zany Zoo. This was the first time you actually pulled up from a sitting position! Yay! You started doing it from my lap and I slowly moved my legs away so you would pull up and then sit down on the floor. You did this over and over and over and over! You actually started whining while pulling up. I’m guessing your legs were getting tired. You didn’t stop, though. I guess you really wanted to practice your new skill.

2/15: You have gone from gagging on everything you put into your mouth to shoving half a strawberry in your maw and handling it with no problem. Strawberries are your current favorite food, by the way. That and toast with cinnamon and butter for breakfast.

2/19: Your birthday “day” was jam packed! We had breakfast (a waffle with a “1” candle in it), opened Mimi’s present to you, took Mimi to the airport to go home, went to Big Daddy Bagels for second breakfast, did your cake smash picture (you didn’t really smash it though) and ONE pictures, FaceTimed with Nonni and Papa, did a wagon ride around the neighborhood in your wagon from Nonni and Papa, went to Grandrabbits so you could pick out your birthday present (out of allllllllll the toys, you immediately picked out a green ball – of course. Balls are your favorite), had dinner at Which Wich (an employee came over and talked to us and found out it was your birthday and made you a free cookie – which you loved – and a fruit roll up, which I didn’t give you), came home and opened MORE presents from your cousins and aunts and uncles, watched Winnie the Pooh and finally, took a picture of you next to the clock at the time you were both (6:37pm). You pretty much crashed after that, as did mommy and daddy.


I’m not sure if you’ll be walking by yourself by the time I write your next letter, but even if you aren’t, it’s ok. My back can probably handle another month (I kid, I kid).

You are the most amazing, wonderful, happy person in the whole wide world. I have no idea what your daddy and I did before you came about. You bring so much life and meaning and joy to us, every day, every minute. You even bring joy to others. Everywhere we go – and I mean EVERYWHERE – someone will stop us and say how cute you are. You bring smiles to faces of complete strangers. I’m not even sure if you realize how much that means, but it means a lot to be able to brighten someone’s day with a smile or with your cute curly hair. We are so, so hoping it stays curly…but if not, you’ll still be the cutest kid ever.

I love you so, so much, my little helpless baby who is quickly turning into an independent toddler!



1 Response to “dear kellan: one year!”

  1. 1 lucindalines February 25, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    What a wonderful remembrance for Kellan. We don’t realize how important it is to put into words what happens to them at this age when they can’t remember it on their own. Great post.

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