when you talk, trains get broken

You know when you’re a parent and you begin to be gifted toys for your child?

And one of those toys seems really complicated to piece back together? Because it is. You know. You just know. The red flags immediately go up in your brain all, “Thaaat’s gonna be a biatch to put together…”

So, then you waste spend an entire weekend trying to figure out the translated directions that tell you to put Part A through glider D and bolt tightly using screw X. Finally, it’s done! The child is happy! Throw away that box I never want to see it again!

Oh, it’s broken? It came apart? You lost the directions or the diagram?

Or maybe it didn’t come with either and the box was your guide and now you’re supposed to just *know* how it fits back together because you’re the parent?

Lesson to the non-battle worn: take a picture or film the assembly – even if you’re cursing at it the whole time – DO SOMETHING TO HELP YOUR FUTURE SELF! – because come round two, there will be a hellauva lot higher probability that toy “accidentally” breaks in the repair shop.

And we alllllllll know you don’t have a damn clue as to what the thing should look like.

The plus side?

Your kid knows.

They know exactly how it should look.

The not so plus side? They’ll let you know that whatever it is you did, it’s not right. It doesn’t go THAT way. Not that they can actually help you one iota with how it should look…other than to say that piece definitely does not go there, even though you can’t for the life of you figure out why the hell not. It fits! It has to go there! Damn you box I should have kept!

I guess it’s a good thing Kellan can’t say any of this to me, yet, because the other day while he had a friend over, said friend took apart The Puzzle Train before her mom or I knew what was happening.

We were doing super important mom stuff. Like talking.

Anyhow, when it was time to clean up, we both collected all of the pieces parts to this train and tried to put it back together.

We tried.

And tried.

And tried.

And finally, after haphazardly placing the last piece on during probably the tenth attempt, it barely clinging to the wooden peg, she smiled and was all, “Look! A project for you for later!”

I present to you exhibit A: What happens when a baby takes apart a toy and two moms attempt to put it back together…with no clue as to how was supposed to look


Related: The Train Puzzle should probably be labeled for all ages.


10 Responses to “when you talk, trains get broken”

  1. 1 Tom G. (@20prospect) January 11, 2013 at 9:02 am

    As a father you dread the moment when your child hands you
    a broken toy, and looks up with those innocent, trusting eyes,
    knowing that Daddy can fix anything, and you look at the pieces and
    think “f@######ck, I’m screwed.” That is the EXACT point where you
    go from being Demigod, to being “the old man”.

  2. 3 Amy January 11, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I don’t know anything about no baby toys, but I’m pretty sure that green cylinder goes on the peg in the front but goes lengthwise. But that’s about it. The smoke stack may very well be the only piece in the right place. (maybe).

  3. 4 meganbestoffates January 11, 2013 at 10:27 am

    Haha – I think that train looks awesome!

  4. 5 Arielle January 11, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    I don’t know what I hate more- complicated to built toys or those toys making a sound which always seem to have the best longest lasting batteries… They should be forbidden!

  5. 6 1st-time mom January 11, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    Lol and I was considering getting that toy… I might just have to reconsider.

  6. 7 lucindalines January 12, 2013 at 10:54 am

    Or, you could go to the store and take a picture of the box….just thinking on the screen…By the way, the post was way, way funny.

  7. 9 PJ January 13, 2013 at 10:11 pm

    Oh, you type A personality, you. Who cares if it isn’t put back together perfectly!?

  8. 10 mark January 14, 2013 at 10:41 am

    I ride trains every day and I see nothing out of place. Well done!! Ha ha funny post.

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