i puked. it was awful.

I would really love to say that, over the weekend, I was thankful for modern medicine but…I can’t. Exactly.

Instead, I was thankful for Tim and his sympathy, his ability to take care of Kellan and for toilets.

Let me explain.

The weekend started out normally enough. We had a breakfast planned with a friend, and so we walked over to their house. And when I say “walked” I mean we left thirty minutes early in hopes Kellan would nap for a bit in the stroller while Tim and I froze our patooties off because it was windy and 30-something. COLD.

He didn’t nap.

We talked. We ate. We left and mostly ran home because, hello, sleet that wasn’t supposed to start falling until 1pm. It was 9:50am.

Nice, Colorado. Real nice.

Anyhow, Tim left shortly after to take my car to get an oil change and then, as I was laying on the floor with Kellan while he roly-poly-ed around, it hit me.

And I knew….I knew it was bad.

The only time I ever really got headaches – as in migraine, I cannot function please get me into a dark, quiet room with no light or motion or movement or anything – was when I was on birth control pills awhile ago. It took…entirely too long to realize that they were the problem.

Once I stopped?

No more migraines during the dreaded “white placebo pill” week.

I knew on Saturday while laying on the floor that this headache wasn’t just a headache.

I took a Tylenol.

It did nothing.

I had some leftover Vicodin from my lovely postpartum re-sticthing (oh, you missed that? Here you go). I took one.

It did nothing.

By the time Tim got home, it was full blown, major headache, cannot move kind of thing. And nausea like OMG. Apparently I texted Tim right before he got him saying it was taking everything I had to not vomit and somehow I said Luke was taking everything I had not to vomit.

His response?

Use the force.

So not funny.

Kellan and Tim spent the rest of the day together while I lay, dying, upstairs. I had to keep repeating the same phrase over and over to myself (and not I cannot remember what it was other than it had the word “snow” in it) to try and take my mind off the pain. Eventually, I went back downstairs to see if I could function and Tim asked if I could take another Vicodin.

I said yes, up to two was ok, per the doc.

I took another.

Kellan needed to nurse and nap.

And then it happened.

I felt my throat start closing up and the waves of nausea…poor Kellan. The child was almost asleep when I pulled him off my boob and hightailed it to the bathroom to, um, empty the contents of my stomach.

Apparently, Tim heard me run to the bathroom and Kellan start crying, so he ran upstairs because he knew something was amiss and where did he go?

To the bathroom…where I was puking.

I. Was. Mortified.

Here I am, helplessly bent over the porcelain bowl and there is Tim, rubbing my back…and turning on the bathroom fan because THAT MAKES ME FEEL LESS SELF CONSCIOUS.

Puke smells god awful – I know because I’m standing here hunched over it –  but, really? REALLY?

Couldn’t that have waited until after I was finished leaving my dignity in the bowl?

I never puke, people. NEV-ER.

Tim has never seen me do it. The last time I did was in my early teens because I. HATE. IT. I will do whatever I possibly can to avoid it…until I absolutely can’t…like on Saturday.

After that, Tim knew I wasn’t joking about how bad my head hurt and he took Kellan downstairs to play while I stayed in bed, begging for mercy, for relief, for anything to stop the pain. He only brought him up for a nap and for bedtime. I felt bad that he had to do 100% of the baby duty but at that point, I wasn’t able to do 1%. There was no way I would have been able to survive the weekend without Tim – and I told him so. No. Way. It makes me realize how grateful I am to have him…to not be a single parent…I don’t know how you single parents manage, I really don’t. I have so much more respect for what you do than I ever had before. So, so much.

Saturday night was atrocious because the headache just wouldn’t go away. Back during the birth control migraines, they would last a few hours, usually tempered after I took an Excedrin migraine (cannot take while breastfeeding) and slept for a bit.

This beast of a headache didn’t wind down until late Sunday afternoon. I felt better on Sunday morning, but the headache was still lingering.


Today I am much improved, though I still feel a slight bit of pain, still, from the headache, and my appetite is still not normal. Most food…I can’t handle.

And I dropped three pounds within 24 hours. All fluid.


Super bad mojo for breastfeeding.

I’m working my way back up. Slowly.

I still have no idea what happened…why I got the migraine in the first place. Some kind of weird hormonal thing? Theories? Anyone?

And why am I not thankful for modern medicine?

Because that second Vicodin is what put me over the edge, I believe, and resulted in everything on the inside coming back outside.

Or…maybe I should be thankful because once that all happened, my head hurt about 5% less than it did before…so…hmm…yah. No. Definitely could have done without the vomit.


3 Responses to “i puked. it was awful.”

  1. 1 Shannon November 12, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Suck nation. Good thing it happened over the weekend when Tim could be home! Glad you are feeling better though. Also, I commented on last post but it didn’t go through- so- I love the blocks:)

  2. 2 mm November 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Oh man, I totally know how that goes, and I feel for you. I’ve suffered from migraines since I was at least 5 (that’s when my parents knew for sure I had my first one, and they run in my family), and I HATE to puke. But I can’t tell you the number of times throughout my childhood that I ended up doing it completely embarrassing places (like the school hallway because my teacher thought I was exaggerating and didn’t let me leave class soon enough to make it to a bathroom). It’s so awful. 😦 My dad used to always tell me to “just throw up, it’ll make you feel better”, and it would somewhat, but I hate puking so much I could never manage to make myself do it on purpose.

    I have a huge fear of getting migraines when pregnant and when taking care of my (future) children…especially if I can’t take Excedrine Migraine! It’s awesome that Tim was there to help you and take care of Kellan! Hope you’re back to feeling 100% soon!

  3. 3 jobo November 12, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    awwwwwwwwwwww! I HATE PUKING TOO!! SO SO BAD! So I am right there with you!! I feel so bad, especially given the awful headache!!! XOXO!

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