when your key doesn’t fit

I didn’t exactly miss posting yesterday on purpose? Or by accident? Whichever is the appropriate term?

I probably had a minute or so to let you know what I was thankful for but….life? Got hectic? Kind of?

Funny enough, I’ve been sitting on this little thankful tidbit for WEEKS. I wanted to make sure it actually happened before I said anything because then I might jinx it and then OMG. THE HORROR.

Anyway, I had to wait on a delivery from USPS before I could share and said delivery happened earlier this week.

Except…it didn’t…exactly?

I think I have mentioned before that we have community mailboxes (like what people have at apartment complexes, Georgia). Instead of a handy-dandy mailbox at the end of our driveway, we have to hoof it across the street, down a path, past the playground and down another path to get to our mail.

That description is pretty much 100% accurate.

Exercise or something. Healthiest state in the nation. Pay cuts. Whatever.

So, when you get a delivery and it is larger than your thin little mailbox, you get a key in your mailbox that is supposed to open a larger box underneath all the small mailboxes (what happens if more than ten people have a large box delivery in one day? Hmmmm….).

Tim got the mail on Tuesday and there was a key inside that had a #1 on the tag.

We all would assume it is supposed to match up with big mailbox #1, right?

He tried big mailbox #1.

It didn’t open.

So, what did Tim do?

Try ALL of the boxes until one worked, of course.

It’s just like squishing the button, over and over. Eventually, something has to happen.

(I’m never going to let that die, honey. Cops + Your underwear. Classic)

It happened with box #6.

Inside box #6?

Our package???? Yes???

No.

ANOTHER. BLASTED. KEY.

Is this like some kind of funny game, Mr. Postman?

That key had #9 on it.

And that key opened….NOTHING.

He even had me go back with him just to make sure he wasn’t crazy.

We even went down to the other set of mailboxes in our neighborhood to check those big boxes. Maybe Mr. Postman had a giant brain fart.

He didn’t.

And, more importantly, Tim wasn’t crazy.

We had the key to nothing.

When we got home, Tim was all, “Now what are we going to do???????????

And I was all, “We’re going to go to the Post Office and……wait for it…..TALK TO SOMEONE

THE. HORROR.

Tim avoids these kinds of interactions like. the. plague. Along with ordering food over the phone. OMG. Don’t get me started.

We can guess where the division of labor is in that arrangement (hint: I never go pick up the food).

And then, Tim was like, “Are we even expecting anything?”

Somehow I feel like that question should have some up awhile ago…except because HE wasn’t expecting anything, then what on God’s good green earth could possibly be coming?

The short answer: Yes. *I* was expecting something.

Anyway, the next day, I went to the Post Office with our Key to Nothing and explained the whole shebang.

She was confused.

So was I.

She got our address and the details scribbled down on a piece of paper and then said she was going to run and find the delivery man.

Yah. RUN.

Before she scurried off, she was all, “You’ll either have the box delivered to your door or………………you’ll get another key. In your mailbox.”

(I’m not even sure I can describe the look on my face hearing that after driving up to the Post Office clutching a Key to Nowhere)

(Something like jaw on the floor, eyes wide open, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING, RIGHT? ANOTHER KEY??)

Later that afternoon, Kellan and I went to the mailbox, everything crossed, and found another key inside.

#8

And inside #8?

I know. They are PERFECT.

What am I thankful for yesterday?

THE UNIVERSE.

Because, obviously, I need to be thankful for something today and after asking THE UNIVERSE for help with these blocks, it came through.

I found the blocks again on ebay a few weeks ago and WON.

And by WON I mean I only paid ONE DOLLAR more than the max I was willing to spend.

HALLELUJAH!

By the way? Bidding on ebay should really come with some kind of disclaimer: May cause sudden heart palpitations and profuse sweating.

PS: Today I am thankful for a sense of humor. And Tim’s sense of humor.

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7 Responses to “when your key doesn’t fit”


  1. 1 Azara November 9, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Ah, the postal system. So wonderful…glad you finally got your package. They look great!

    Bidding on ebay annoys the hell out of me. I think what annoys me is people waiting until the very last second and “stealing” the item. It just seems so dishonest. Put your max bid in, leave it alone and then whoever really wanted it the most gets it. None of this shifty swiping the auction at the last second so no one else has time to respond. Ugh.

  2. 2 Anonymous November 9, 2012 at 10:31 am

    You are just, TOO FUNNY!!! Your stories remind me all the time of when I was home with a lot of small children and couldn’t leave the house or speak to adults all that much. Travel back in time with me, get the stroller, dress 6 preschoolers weather appropriate clothing including diaper changes and a snack for emergencies, walk down the street watching for cars, dogs and any liter someone that age may put in their mouth, ALL THE KEY MATCHING STEPS YOU’VE INCLUDED, and the return walk without the package!!! Spending the rest of the day wondering what was in the package and why these things always seem to happen to ME!

  3. 3 Cindy Suzette Fausel November 9, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    Haaaaaaaaa Seeee I told you I LOVE your blogs. I am sitting here dying laughing at the key fiasco. I could just see all of that happening before my eyes. You and Tim are both sooo funny. Kellan is going to be a character for sure with ya’ll as his parents. I can just see him with his head in his hands in disgust or wonderment at how you both handle things.

  4. 4 bevchen November 10, 2012 at 7:39 am

    I’m glad you got your blocks eventually. Also, I LOVE the picture of a turkey (at least I’m guessing that’s what the bird is?) on your calendar.

  5. 6 Brandy February 1, 2013 at 8:50 am

    I’d bet Tim avoids drive-thru’s too! Glen hates them. We’ve gotten wrong food too many times. Ugh! Order breakfast sandwich sans egg only to find egg on it when you go to eat it! Anyhoo, we have the same type of mailbox configuration and I don’t ever recall having to deal with the plethora stupid you guys deal with. So sorry.


  1. 1 it happened. again. « booshy Trackback on January 31, 2013 at 2:28 pm

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