it was supposed to happen yesterday…

(Just pretend you read all of this yesterday…or that it is yesterday…because that’s when it all happened and not when this was posted because life happened and hitting the ‘Publish’ button didn’t. The end)

Day one. Well, technically, day two. Either way, Tim was out the door this morning at 3-something to get his run in and Kellan and I went later on, so we’re both working on our daily buff. Apparently there are 100 days until the end of this competition he has at work.

2 down.

98 to go.

Now, can we talk about something else that is entirely more pertinent?

Like this bird situation we are STILL having?

Kellan and I came home from our run this morning and found that a bird sacrifice had taken place in our front lawn.

I’m pretty sure that is a headless bird by our new tree that I was planning on watering today. I can’t be for certain because I’m not about to get close to it and it go all voodoo on me.

I have no idea why the birds would decide to do something like this. It’s not like it will help their situation. Like, at all.

Strength in numbers, fellas.

Over the weekend, Tim had to clean up two more dead birds in our side yard.

It’s getting beyond ridiculous. BIRDS. Who knew they could be so damn irritating. Nowhere is safe or sanitary.

An hour after we wash off the driveway and porch?

Bird feathers and poo and disgustingness is everywhere. Again.

The county? Why don’t I get help there?

WELL. Let’s talk about that.

They aren’t helping.

Even though they said to call back if we had more than five dead birds “on our property.”

Newsflash: We are well over having five dead birds “on our property” at this point.

WELL. OVER.

They consider them – the pigeons, because let’s call them what they are – a “nuisance” and suggest I “google” ways to deter them.

Really?

REALLY?

Gee, thanks.

I’m not exactly sure google can help me figure out why they’re just flat out falling from the sky, dead as a doornail, and landing in our yard.

But, I guess you know what you’re talking about

You’re the expert….

PS: If you’re shy but are definitely going to do this buffness with me…with us…can you just repeat, over and over, “I will be BUFF!” That way, I’ll feel your buffness vibes.

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9 Responses to “it was supposed to happen yesterday…”


  1. 1 Suzanne Anderson October 3, 2012 at 9:32 am

    so bizarre. anything around that could be hunting them? as strange as this sounds, about a year ago there was a rouge panther wandering around my part of town. they would find dead birds, squirrels and such and reports panther sightings about once a week.

  2. 4 Azara October 3, 2012 at 9:41 am

    I will be buff, I will be buff, I will be buff…

  3. 6 Evelyn October 3, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Be thankful you don’t have seagulls. They are even bigger poopers than pigeons and make WAY more noise. And where I live they are considered an endangered species so if one has built a nest on the roof of the building outside your bedroom window? Nothing you can do – you are not allowed to touch the nest! I kind of wish the neighbourhood racoons would find their way up there but that’s kind of mean spriited of me…

    • 7 Jessica October 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

      Ah! I didn’t even think about that kind of situation! That sounds awful – and seagull poo IS awful and GIANT. Here’s hoping the raccoons learn how to climb the gutter… 😉

  4. 8 Mrs Loquacious October 3, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Maybe you have some other predatory bird nearby, who is dropping its “treasures” on your yard? The beheading thing makes me think of owls and other such birds that might attack at the neck, then eat the head first?

  5. 9 lucindalines October 3, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    OK headless birds, sounds like a cat of some kind is in the area. Wild or tame, do your neighbors have a cat? If it is a cougar….Good luck finding the source.


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