i can’t really believe it’s come to this, either, pigeons

***Obligatory “please vote for Kellan by clicking here” header***

Based on what I blog about, you would think the entire world has completely stopped turning, save this new little person who came about in February.

Wouldn’t that be nice? Everything just *happens* while you take care of the baby. Like the magical fairies in Sleeping Beauty who clean the house and sew things and do the dishes all while you’re away…


Speaking of, where are *my* fairies? Because I’ve got about seventy loads of laundry to do and I can’t sew worth a damn (There is a checkered pillow somewhere in this house with crooked corners I made in Home Ec as evidence).

See, the thing is, I need them, these fairies, what with their magic wands, to handle all of this *stuff* ……along with THE PIGEONS.

By now, you know I don’t deal with dead birds.

And while we’re at it, I also don’t deal with flocks of birds that have decided to live on our roof.

Thanks to geography or a pigeon friendly neighborhood or something just as asinine, it’s like we have this infestation of pigeons. No, it’s not “like.” WE HAVE.

In all the things I thought would be something I would have to worry about, infestations of pigeons was definitely not on the list.

We have no idea where they came from but all of a sudden we – as in our neighbors and us – have this issue with this ginormous flock of pigeons deciding to LIVE ON OUR ROOFS.

It is disgusting.

Pigeons are disgusting and they drop dead ON MY WALKWAY.

Our next door neighbor’s roof seems to be deemed “the loo” by the pigeons. It is COVERED in pigeon droppings. That’s not to say these pigeons don’t do their “thing” over other people’s houses – like ours – because we have feathers and random poo droppings and just pigeon YUCK that land in the driveway and in the grass and it is just…gross. But, based on our little surprise from the other week, the pigeons must have deemed our house as “the graveyard.”

Needless to say, I can’t handle it anymore and the things are multiplying. Exponentially.

It’s like we started with five and now there are fifty.

I’m dead serious.

If you startle them, you hear this giant SWOOSH of feathers and wings and flying rat (as Tim calls them) bodies while the entire flock moves from one roof to the next, only to come right back to wherever it was they were roosting initially, once the “noise” or “irritant” has gone away.

I don’t want Kellan (or me…or Tim…for that matter) around any of that nastiness. It’s like our own house isn’t even safe because the pigeons are trying to take over all, “WE LIVE HERE.”


We all (ie: the neighborhood) have gotten to the point where we’ve decided we are going to wage battle against the flying rats. One neighbor is calling the city to see if they’ll do anything and we are all researching ways to deter them.

They have to go.

I don’t care where, as long as it isn’t here. These stupid ass birds (because that’s what they are) are on my last nerve and once that happens?

Whoever is the target in my path of destruction is S.O.L.

So, if you have any suggestions as to how to get rid of these things that will not result in MORE DEAD BIRDY BODIES ON MY WALKWAY (ie: alkaseltzer, poison, etc), I’m all ears.

My suggestion?


Because WHY. NOT.

Tim, at first, looked at me like, “You craaaaaazy, woman.” and then he thought about it for a second and was like, “THAT IS BRILLIANT.”

Turns out, I’m not the first person to hatch this idea (ha…punny), as I found Tim doing research on “pigeon sonic deterrents.”

You read that right.

Pigeon sonic deterrents.

I really can’t believe it has come to this, either.


1 Response to “i can’t really believe it’s come to this, either, pigeons”

  1. 1 http://lifestartsnow.wordpress.com September 25, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    go for it girl, get these nasty suckers off your roof and those of the neighborhood. whatever it takes. i thing pigeons are disgusting and i feel your pain. did you see that episode of modern family with the pigeon? google it, you’ll get a kick out of it!

    try the emf, that would have been my suggestion, too. put it up in the attic and see if that changes anything.

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