your “person”

***Obligatory “please vote for Kellan by clicking here” header***

I’m totally stealing this “your person” thing from Grey’s Anatomy.

So there.

And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you really need to start watching Grey’s.

And if you’re not going to watch Grey’s, then let me briefly explain. Saying someone is “your person” is basically saying they’re your BFF. Like, B.F.F. – not a casual, “Oh…yah…she’s my BFF.” She is YOUR PERSON.

Anyway, enough of that.

Do you have a person?

Other than Tim, who will always be my person, I don’t. I mean, like, a girl person. A husband person is totally different – trumps all other scenarios.

But a girl person?

I haven’t had one of those in…………..wow. Probably middle school? I tried to think back to the last friend I had that I could really call my person – the one I told everything to, the one I always went to when something was wrong or when I needed to share a secret or whatever, the one I was always with or always called first to do things with – and I think that is the last time I can remember having a friend that I could call my person (Hello, Ashley. You know who you are. I still remember that fight in the library and the silent drive back to drop you off at your house…what was it about, again?…I don’t even remember…but you were still my person after that…).

Once I got into high school I kind of lost my friends. Some to basketball because I made the Varsity team – the only freshman to do so – and I guess that made some people mad. Believe me, I was just as shocked as they were…I certainly didn’t expect it…I digress. And then I lost others when I started having boyfriends and wanting to spend more time with them (the boys) (that was dumb) (Dear Any Girl Ever: Don’t stop seeing your friends because of boys)

Since then……no person.

I’m not even sure how to HAVE a person anymore, it has been so long. I don’t know how to be a BFF or a “person,” much less cultivate a friendship far enough along to get to that point.

Maybe it’s harder when you’re older to do that sort of thing, since we’re all about quality over quantity and no one has any time for BS. If it’s not working out?

Move along.

Maybe I’m too weird? Or blunt? Or distant? Or…..all of the above?

I know it takes a long time for anyone to really “get to know me” because it takes *me* a long time to actually let that part of myself out because why am I going to completely open myself up and make all kinds of effort and try to be better friends when someone else comes along who happens to “click” better with said person and then….um……where’d they go?

It’s not to say I don’t try.

I’m just not entirely sure how to “click?” I guess?

Maybe I’m not a clicker?

Even in high school and college I kind of drifted between groups. I was never *in* a specific clique. I was just kind of semi-friends with everyone. Not good friends or close friends. Just friends.

So maybe that makes me a drifter?

I have no idea.

Wait…maybe it’s harder to have a person when you get older because everyone already HAS A PERSON.

It really shouldn’t be this complicated?

I’m probably overcomplicating it.

Dear Universe, Where is my (girl) person?

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20 Responses to “your “person””


  1. 1 littlemissobsessivesanatomy September 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    everyone is a clicker…am sure you will find your person.. i love Christina and Meredith’s “you are my person” situations…Greys anatomy is amazing

  2. 6 PJ September 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    I don’t have a girl person either. I never really had. I mean, I had close girl friends in middle school and then I was so busy in high school that I had a lot of friends – but not 1 person. Then In college, I had a group of really close girl friends; but, we all live in different areas of the country now.

    In all honesty – I’m not really a “girl” person. I tend to become friends with guys more than girls. I’m not sure what it is; but, that’s the way that I have always been.

  3. 8 Kathleen Reifsnyder September 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    I love Grey’s, also, not sure how realistic it is though… lol….
    I’m somewhat the same, Jess. I have many friends, but I don’t think I would consider any of my friends my BFF…. WHY??? Because I married my BFF and we built a life together, raised our children and are enjoying our lives with each other.
    We socialize, a lot, with “our friends”, impromptu weeknight dinners and plan lots of stuff for the weekends, but in the end the person I love to be with is the man I married and for me I find it to be a fulfilling life.
    I can talk to my girlfriends, about things going on in our lives, but honestly, I’m not going to share my innermost thoughts with anyone but my husband, I think we are private people and that may be why it works this way.
    I have no idea, just my random thoughts!!

  4. 9 Shannon September 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I love Grey’s and I do have a person whom I call “My person.” My Nic in England. I get you on the friends thing though. Mine are all far away and I don’t seem to have a major go to that lives close. I am probably your person, we just haven’t met yet. I’m sure of it:)

  5. 11 Brit September 19, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    I think you stole this post. From my mind. I easily could have written basically the same thing. My hubby is my person but since that is a different kind of person that makes me person-less as well. The closest I have to a ‘girl person’ is my sister but she lives over 2,000 miles away so she’s my person via text. It’s really hard to have girls night out via text. :-/

  6. 13 sati September 19, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Ah, the ever elusive person. I, too, am girl-person-less. I mean, I’ve got my sister, but she’s related, and then there is my husband and he doesn’t count so… yeah 🙂
    Kinda makes you wonder: we seem to have made it thus far… maybe the husband’s should count and acquaintances will fill in the rest. Of course, this
    comes from a person with no person 😉
    Loved your post!

  7. 14 Caitrin King September 20, 2012 at 9:23 am

    As usual, your blog comes at just the right moment as I am pondering the same thing. I am debating whether to invite my cousin, friend, or work girl to my birthday game (Whodey! or go Bengals, if you don’t know the whodey.) My cousin takes me to all her functions and I feel the need to reciprocate, I’d have the best time with my girlfriend, but I would like to be better friends with my work girl, but have had terrible experiences mixing business and pleasure in the past. Any advice? 🙂

    *Still voting for Kellan!

    • 15 Jessica September 20, 2012 at 11:17 am

      Thank you for voting, Caitrin!! As for your dilemma….Tim had some success mixing business with pleasure, so to speak. As in in the realm of a guy friend he also worked with. They were “equal” so to speak, though. On the same level at work, so nothing weird there. I’d say if that is the case with the work girl friend you want to get to know better – go for it and see what happens. You may not get burned a second time PLUS it’s not like you both are going to work there forever…so may as well try to start a good friendship in case one of the two of you leave…your cousin will always be your cousin…and your other friend…um. You’ll still be friends?

      And I had no idea what a whodey was…thank you for the clarification because I was like, “HUH?” 🙂

  8. 16 Angelia Sims September 20, 2012 at 10:40 am

    I need a person. If you find your person, see if they know an unclaimed person in Dallas. Lol.

  9. 18 Carmalee October 5, 2012 at 8:56 am

    Great! Post! I was in your same boat for the longest time!!! I prayed about, sounds cheesy, but I did and I am thinking GOD answered my prayers for a “person” still waiting it out… I don’t want to jinx things. Not that I am pathetic, I have the best husband and children and I have wonderful sisters, but you are right a girl “person” is needed. I did have a few in elementary and high school but they drifted, non in college and mixing work and friends, only if you’ve been working together for several years. Be patient the right girl “person” hasn’t come along and you may get a glimpse here and their but its weird, you’ll just know… Great post! Thanks for sharing.


  1. 1 To those who know me best… | Words of the Bard Trackback on September 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm

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