So…I was in the grocery store the other day with Kellan. He was chillin’ in the Ergo (LOVE THAT THING) and I was pushing a giant shopping cart because there were no smaller ones to be found.
(Dear King Soopers: WE NEED MORE SMALL CARTS)
Anyhow, after making my way through the produce section, I stop over to find some chicken…or something…honestly I don’t even remember what I was looking for because I was in such a fog. I have no idea what is going on lately but I am SO. TIRED.
The brain…it’s not even functioning, people…as evidenced by my absolute super embarrassing moment that happened as I moseyed over to find my chicken. Er…chicken. I guess it technically wasn’t *mine* until I purchased it.
Of course, there was an older couple (read: at least 70+), the husband decked out in suspenders, the wife…giant hair, even bigger glasses…with their own shopping cart, heading right over the meat section, too.
Apparently that decided they needed to be RIGHT WHERE I WAS so they parked their cart, full of white bread and more white bread (no judgement…) directly in front of my and right next to my own cart. I had to leave *my* cart in order to “browse” because they had decided, obviously, that old people deserve the right of way versus a woman carrying a baby AND pushing a giant cart (Again, King Soopers – SMALL CARTS!).
My tired brain decided to give up on the meat, so I turned around, grabbed my cart and started walking away, trying to remember why I was even in the grocery store in the first place.
Then, behind me I hear, “MISS! MISS! MISS!!!!!!”
I turn around only to see the old lady with giant hair and gianter (it’s *so* a word. Or not. Whatever) glasses running after me all, “Miss! Miss! THAT’S NOT YOURS! I didn’t buy that stuff!”
I look into the cart and my first thought?
“Wait…Did I buy bread?”
Then I look up and she’s right behind me, big hair and all, “That’s not my cart. I didn’t buy that” pointing to my lonely cart still sitting over by the meat.
I was all, “OMG. I’m so sorry!” as I pushed *her* cart back over, my brain reeling all, “I didn’t even REALIZE I TOOK HER CART. I legit would have walked off with her bread, meandering through the store, not realizing what I had done until I went to check out. WOW.”
Her husband tried to make light of it all, “Ain’t nothing safe these days! Not even a grocery cart!”
She, on the other hand, was (more than) slightly upset that I almost walked off with all her bread and left her with vegetables.
Mah bad, gramie. I guess *you* missed the part where *I* look like a walking zombie, staring into la-la land with a baby strapped to my body.
IT’S NOT LIKE I DID IT ON PURPOSE.
I didn’t want your dumb old bread, anyway.