the seventh circle of hell

I really thought Kellan deciding to wake up every 2-3 hours was as bad as it could get.
I mean, that’s just enough time for me to fall asleep, get into a deep sleep….and then be jolted awake again. How could it possibly get worse?

It couldn’t.

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG.

It can always get worse.

You should never, ever test baby sleep fate. Never.

I cannot stress that enough. NEVER.

Don’t say your child sleeps like a little angel because it’ll come back to bite you in the ass.

Mark. My. Words.

For the laaasst…week…probably more…Kellan has decided that two hours – MAX – is what he’s gonna do. Period. No amount of coaxing or coercing will sway his decision (Hello, Type A Dragon baby) (This is the Chinese year of the dragon, FYI)

He is also coming to the conclusion that the binky is not the booby and DO NOT put that terrible replica of what I really want into my mouth so help me god or I’ll scream louder.

About the sleep, though…I’m too tired to even deal with the binky issue other than to shove a boob in his mouth and try to get five minutes of sleep.

Do you have any idea what it feels like to have to wake up almost every single hour of the night?

For A WEEK?!

Lemme drag out my back hoe, run you over with it a few times and then toss in a good, robust beating with a Louisville Slugger.

I’m beyond zombie status.

Between the constant wakings, super short naps during the day, Kellan wanting to be held or constantly entertained (hello? I’m bored, mom!) and everything in between, I walked into the bathroom this morning as Tim was getting ready (because Kellan decided 5:30 was a superb time to wake up for the day), my hair looking like a pack of blue jays had made their forever home in it, and was straight faced, barely able to focus my eyes on anything all, “I NEED SOME SLEEP.”

And then promptly walked right back out.

I think this is what happens during the 12 week growth spurt combined with the 12th Wonder Week (cognitive/physical skill development stuff).

Basically, the seventh circle of hell with a baby permanently attached to my boob.


9 Responses to “the seventh circle of hell”

  1. 1 Angelia Sims May 14, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    I would give that baby some cereal in his bottle. No, don’t ask a pedi, they don’t recommend that anymore. They say feed it to them with a spoon, but trust me, in the bottle, little bit, at bedtime. Will keep his tummy more full. You’ll have to pump one. It probably is a growth spurt. He is getting so big! I hope you can get rest soon……maybe do an extra pumping and have someone take a shift for you (if you don’t do the cereal thing).

  2. 2 Anonymous May 14, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    So sorry honey – I know it is so tough! But a bazillion moms have weathered the storm and have such fond memories. AND THE STORIES you will be able to share.

  3. 3 jobo May 14, 2012 at 6:58 pm

    wimper. ((hug)) Hang in there dear, hang in there. XOXOXO

  4. 4 Cindy May 14, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    I totally feel your pain. Or rather, mostly I’m remembering your pain. And in saying THAT I’m probably dooming myself to have it repeat. What you are describing is EXACTLY what I went through with this baby, right down to the binky rejection. I hope yours is short-lived. Get sleep whenever you can is my only advice. That’s all I’ve got.

  5. 5 Mrs Loquacious May 15, 2012 at 2:08 am

    Wow. I am so sorry. I won’t say that my 14-week-old baby is an angel sleeper but, for now, she puts in a lengthier sleep overnight if I give her a bottle before bed. I am also still allowing her to nurse whenever she wants (though I think for now she’s got a bit of a pattern) and supplementing throughout the day. Boobing her = sedative (she almost always falls asleep from it). I hope you can regain your sanity and get some rest soon, momma!

  6. 6 Jen (@Desisister_Jen) May 15, 2012 at 4:14 am

    I’ve been there and its helll…
    sounds like you needs to take charge…let baby find out that the world will not come to an end if he cries for a little while…not that I was ever any good at doing it…
    my god, my heart goes out to you, I swear if I lived within a 100 miles fo you I would be round there…take baby for 12 hours..let u bath and sleep…you have to recharge xxx
    sending you lots and lots of love

  7. 7 cmbold May 15, 2012 at 7:58 am

    I share everyone else’s sentiment; I’d been there if I were close enough! I’ve heard good things about aromatherapy. Get the smell going during go-to-sleep time and get him used to it as a sleepy time smell, then break it out in the middle of the night to trick his little brain into sleeping again.

  8. 8 Brooke May 15, 2012 at 2:12 pm


    That is ENOUGH. Did you not read the previous posts about Jess’s poor “situation”?? Cut the woman a break. *gives Universe the stink eye*

  9. 9 the speech monster May 16, 2012 at 4:24 am

    sorry you’re going through a hard time. but, it will pass!!! hang in there.

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