it’s all fun and games…until somebody has a baby

I remember when Tim and I first learned I was pregnant (I’d say ‘we’ but let’s be honest. My body was the one that was inhabited). We were all, “Aww…we’re having a baby!”

I remember the first time we saw the sprout on the ultrasound as a tiny little bean, a mere six weeks old. We were all, “Aww…how adorable.”

I remember when we first felt him kicking and rolling around inside of me. We were all, “Aww…how incredible!”

I remember the first time we watched my belly jump up and down when he had the hiccups. We were all, “Aww…how cute! Poor thing!”

I remember the bubble we were in at the hospital right after he was born. We were all, “Aww…we’re parents!!!”

Flash forward seven weeks.

Now we’re all…

Dear Sleep, I miss you.

Dear Arm, I know you’re asleep and tingling and about to fall off and run away whimpering but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t you dare move a muscle because then he’ll wake up and we’ll have to START ALL OVER.

Dear Sanity, Will you ever return?

Dear Date Night, You’ve been replaced by a tiny human who doesn’t care about dinner and a movie unless it’s by My Breast, Producer: Milk.

Dear Romance, ….(excuse me…laughing hysterically).

Dear Intimacy, See above.

Dear Husband, One day I’ll be able to pay attention to you, again.

Dear Body, I have no idea what happened, either.

Dear Vaj, I’m still sorry. There really is no way to properly warn you RE: outgoing – human head.

Dear Pooper, Will you ever forgive me and be normal again? There was no warning for you because I DIDN’T KNOW.

Dear Life Before Baby, Sometimes I really, really miss how simple and easygoing you were.

Dear Gym and Running, I will return…once the Pooper is cleared (ha…punny). Cleared medically, I mean. And once I don’t feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, day after day.

Dear Brain, How long, exactly, until we’re functioning on at least one cylinder?

Dear Anyone Who is Pregnant, Trust me when I say that being pregnant is a cake walk compared to life post-childbirth. Sometimes you’ll wish for the day your little one was oh so conveniently packaged up inside your uterus.

Dear Anyone Considering Getting Knocked Up: It’s not as easy as it looks on TV. In fact, it’s ten bajillion times harder. Unless you have a live-in nanny. If you do, I hope they let your child color the walls, couch and carpet with Sharpies and fabric dye.

Dear Boobs, I know, right?!!!! (!!!!!!!!)


6 Responses to “it’s all fun and games…until somebody has a baby”

  1. 1 The Waiting April 12, 2012 at 10:24 am

    I’d say you pretty much nailed it with this post.

  2. 2 Jen (@Desisister_Jen) April 12, 2012 at 10:50 am

    oh my god…you poor thing…. :)) it does get better soon, but its never ever quite the same again :)) I used to wish I could turn the baby off for a few hours/days whilst I caught up and was ready to resume my duties…

  3. 3 Brandy April 12, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Awww, you poor thing. I feel like that doesn’t equal one sprinkle on a cupcake, but it’s a start. Just think, one day he will eat, dress and poop without your help. Lack of sleep and intimacy will not last forever. You’re a beautiful family!

  4. 4 jobo April 12, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    This sure makes a case for birth control. Just kidding 😉 I actually love reading your posts about how REAL it gets. Not puppies and rainbows. For as much as you love this life now, I am sure it is lots and lots and LOTS of adjustment. You rae doing amazing!

  5. 5 hnMom April 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    Yup, that about covers it. Not to scare anyone but still struggling here one year later. Sometimes it hits me that there is no escape or break. You just have to keep going.
    But then you get a big smile or a hug or a wet baby kiss and hear the word mama and you gladly keep moving.

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