dear sprout

You’re almost here.

I mean, technically you’ve been “here” for nine months but I mean “here” as in in my arms and not my uterus.

There’s a big difference.

Inside it is easy to protect you, feed you, comfort you.

When you’re on the outside?

You scare me, tiny little helpless person. There are so many nights I lie awake, usually at three in the morning, thinking and worrying and knowing that these moments of quiet will soon be replaced by diaper changes and feedings and endless rocking you to sleep. Moments where both your father and I will be at our wits end, exhausted, stressed and completely defeated by you. I know we’ll manage. I know we’ll pull through the rough patches but that doesn’t mean they don’t scare me any less.

Your daddy is terrified that he won’t know the answers to your questions and he wants to make sure he does his absolute best in caring for you.  I mean, he practiced putting a diaper on a teddy bear just to make sure when the time came, he’d know he was doing it the right way for you. He wants to do everything for you the right way from the start and even though both he and I will make mistakes, it isn’t for lack of effort. More like lack of knowledge and experience.

Regardless, I have no doubt that your father will do just fine with both diapers and helping raise you. Whether or not he’ll have the answer, he’ll give you guidance and comfort. And as mad as you’ll get at him sometimes, always know you’re blessed with a wonderful, wonderful father. Don’t ever take that for granted. You’re one of the lucky ones.

As for me, I’ll do my best to be a good mom even though at this point, I really have no idea what I’m doing…not that you’ll know this, at least not until you reach that defiant age where you’ll obviously know more than anyone, but in the beginning I’ll be flying by the seat of my pants. Even though I’ll live and die by trial and error, I cannot wait to teach you and experience life with you and help you when you need it. That first little smile or giggle you let loose will melt both your dad and my hearts forever.

I know our lives will not always be easy and at some point, I’ll probably completely understand that saying, “I brought you into this world and I can take you right out.” However, if there are two things I’ve figured out, one is that the things that really matter are never easy and two, life is one big learning experience and I’ll do everything I can to help you get the most out of your life. You deserve that. You deserve everything the world has to offer and your father and I will stop at nothing to give that to you.

Now, will I miss you moving all around inside of me? As strange as it was in the beginning, I know there will be moments when I’ll miss putting my hand to my stomach to feel you roll around or kick me in the ribs. Having you on the outside will be much more rewarding but right now, it really is just you and me, kid. We’re together 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I suppose I understand why you’ll want to be held constantly in the beginning. I’ve been holding you continuously for nine months.

Your daddy and I are convinced that you are going to be full of personality and gusto right from the beginning. You’ll test the limits and our patience on a daily basis. We’d never expect any less, though, because you’ll be ours and we both did the same things to our own parents. You are our little (Chinese water) dragon baby and we already love you more than you’ll ever know.

Deep down, I know how much you will change our lives…but how much will we impact yours? I can only hope we give you a loving, nurturing environment where you feel safe enough to explore and experiment and learn, knowing we’ll be there for you, regardless if you fail or succeed.

Your daddy already gets so nervous if I start having any weird pains that could potentially mean you are on the way. He’s going to be a basket case getting me to the hospital and even more so after you’re here. He has been anxiously waiting to meet you ever since the day I told him you were inside of me. As each day passes, his excitement grows exponentially and the moment you arrive?

There are not words, little sprout, to describe the rush of happy emotions your birth will evoke.

It’s only a matter of a few days or weeks (praying it isn’t weeks) before you are here…before your arrival helps complete us as a family.

Your daddy and I both love you so much already and cannot wait to meet you.

(so please, come out soon?)


15 Responses to “dear sprout”

  1. 1 peedee February 9, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Don’t worry, they’ll hand you a baby manual in the hospital after he’s born. It’ll tell you everything you need to know and then some. It even has an appendix to help create world peace. 😉

  2. 2 thejessicaness February 9, 2012 at 9:49 am

    what an amazing heart-felt letter. when Sprout is old enough, this will definitely be something to cherish.

  3. 3 DebbieQ February 9, 2012 at 9:53 am

    That is just fabulous. And you are both going to be great.

  4. 4 carolyn February 9, 2012 at 10:16 am

    What a GORGEOUS post. Seriously. xoxo

  5. 5 txtingmrdarcy February 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

    This is lovely, Jess. 🙂 You are so, so ready.

  6. 6 Brandy February 9, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Awwww. So sweet. You should print and frame this letter and read it to him every year on his birthday.

    Sprout, you have a world of people that are so excited to meet you. You have wounderful loving parents who I can tell you, will do all the things they said in this letter at 100 %; because they do nothing half way.

    Love to Tim, Jessica, Baby Sprout, Alegrea, Chloe, Gracie, Maddie and Lexi! What an amazing family you have.

  7. 7 Angelia Sims February 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Come on Sprout! I think mama is ready! 🙂

    I remember with Sydney I was walking on the treadmill begging that stubborn girl to come out (two weeks late!), and also, being scared to death of her coming out. For the same reason, she wouldn’t be protected in my belly. Gotta love the ups and downs in the last days. 🙂

  8. 8 shawnandsuzanne February 9, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I shed a few tears on that one. I just want to share something with you about parenthood. It is the most natural thing in the world and you don’t need books or manuals because you will know what to do, Dad will have the answers. We were born to be parents, I know some choose not to but still, it’s the thing that is hardwired in to us. You will be so good at it because you have the heart and that’s really all it takes 🙂

    Best to you all. Your greatest journey of all starts now ♥

  9. 9 JessSutera February 9, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    Aw friend, this is so beautiful! Totally brought tears to my eyes. You two are going to be such loving, caring and FUN parents. I can’t wait!!

  10. 10 hellesbelles86 February 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    This is wonderful. Made me cry and not just because of pregnancy hormones. Its such a beautiful terrifying thing to be experiencing.

  11. 12 KB February 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Very nicely done!


  12. 13 Shannon February 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Insert tears at work on top of my cold. I am so happy for you. THis little guy is truly blessed to have both of you and you will both be amazing parents.

  13. 14 Jasmin February 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    This is such a cute love letter to your child 🙂 I wish you all the best with your little sprout 🙂


  14. 15 Mrs Loquacious February 10, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    You are going to be a great mommy to your sprout. 🙂 It’s amazing how there are no “rules” and you will improvise as you go along and as you learn more about this new little person in your life.

    Beautiful letter, by the way. Totally turned on my post-partum waterworks.

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