bigger than me

Funny how a fantastic high like being “freshly pressed” for my sunrise project can be tempered by another, albeit completely unexpected, event that is beyond humbling.

(FYI for those who are curious: Yes, I am still taking sunrise pictures every morning, just in case baby sprout decides to make an appearance later in the day)

You know how the whole circle of life thing goes? One person dies, another is born and the world continues?

The checks and balances of the universe.

Ironically enough, we found out I was pregnant with the sprout a few days after Tim’s uncle passed away. One life replaces the next…or something less morbid.

Anyway, after finding out about the sunrise project being “freshly pressed” (It just needs to be in quotes. I have no idea why) something else happened that has left me firmly believing that it is possible for a person to leave a positive mark in this world.

You know when you do something because you want to do it?

It isn’t because someone asked you or made you or strongly suggested you do it.

You do something for no other reason except you decided to act.

That was my sunrise project.

Everyone – including some of you who commented (and may or may not ever read this blog again) yesterday – thought I was crazy.

And I was.

It was.

The whole idea was insane, really. Who does something like this?

Apparently, I do.

But I did it for me….and then that’s when it happened.

I never in my wildest imagination would have thought that this project – as insignificant as it seemed sometimes – would be inspiring.

I never knew it would give others faith that people really do follow through on their goals and that being dedicated and, yes, a little crazy, would leave you wanting toΒ attempt something like the sunrise project of your own.

By sacrificing my sleep and rousing at ungodly hours of the morning for 365 days, I impacted the lives of people I’ve never met in such a positive, encouraging way.

It wasn’t even on purpose.

It was an unexpected side effect that has left lasting ripples on so many lives…in so many places…

When you sit back and realize what that means…wow.

That’s bigger than me.

It’s bigger than all of us.

No one, other than Tim, really knew what I was doing every single morning. No one knew what kind of impact or toll it had on me.

I woke up without complaint and with joy every single morning because I wanted to achieve this goal. For me.

Then, instead of having something for me to cherish, it ended up being a gift to you.

A gift I am so happy to be able to share. A gift I am so thrilled has motivated you, inspired you and made you smile.

I’ve yet to figure out how to put this project in book-type form, but I will. I want to.Β It’s too special to lock away forever without anyone else having the pleasure of seeing a year of life beginning each and every morning.

All I can possibly say to you is thank you.

Your kind, positive words have done more for me than I will ever be able to do for you.

********

(and this next part is just because I have to)

(I’m super preggo, so indulge me)

In baby related news, my OB is this afternoon! I am officially 38 weeks TODAY. Let us hope I’m farther along than the last time (1-2 cm dilated and 75% effaced).

Today is also my birthday. I’m slightly in denial. I’m one year closer to 30. Actually, I’m only a year away from 30, now. Scary.

Also? Today is the beginning of………you guessed it!

(actually, if you guessed this then you’re probably psychic)

MASSIVE. SNOW. STORM.

Biggest of the year for the Denver area, so far.

If baby sprout is going to come, he better do it today or next Monday because I’ll be damned if he ends up having us Tim driving all over town in wind whipped, blinding snow that is forecast to accumulate up to 12 inches, depending on the storm track.

It’s today or…not today (or the next two days), baby sprout.

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24 Responses to “bigger than me”


  1. 1 jobo February 2, 2012 at 10:15 am

    still jealous over freshly pressed! but much deserved my friend!! happy birthday beautiful and I hope that nothing happens during that storm…that’d be just crazy πŸ˜‰

    • 2 Jessica February 2, 2012 at 1:39 pm

      Thank you! You’ll get it, too, one day…probably when you least expect it! πŸ™‚

      Also, it’d be more than crazy…but isn’t that the story of my life??

  2. 3 Angelia Sims February 2, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Yippie Doodle!! Happy 29th!! Please believe an old-ass forty year old when I say that 29 is still young! Next year, you will be a grown-up. Enjoy your last year in your twenties (my
    Mom had me at 29).

    I’m kinda hoping he comes today, but maybe he want his own special day. πŸ™‚

  3. 7 Brett Minor February 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I thought it was a cool project the first time I heard you were doing it. I might shoot for the sunset instead of the sunrise, because sooner or later a day would come when I didn’t roll out of bed. The pictures you showed the other day were beautiful.

  4. 9 Anonymous February 2, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Thirty was one of the best years of my life, and it sounds like 29 is going to be awesome for you! It gets better…it really does.
    Thanks for sharing your sunrises and hope. I used to watch sunrise with my dad growing up. It was ‘our’ time. You took me back to those special moments and made me cherish them all over again. Best with your little sprout!!

  5. 11 bevchen February 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Congratulations on freshly pressed! And happy birthday. I’ll be 30 next year as well, but I’ll be 30 without a baby (or a husband, or a life). Look at it that way and I bet it won’t seem so bad πŸ˜€

    • 12 Jessica February 2, 2012 at 1:41 pm

      Some people prefer the single life….so they’d see me all tied down with a ball and chain or something…to each their own, I guess, right? πŸ˜‰

      Also, thank you very much!

  6. 13 Mrs Loquacious February 2, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    You’re young! Enjoy 29 – it was a great year for me (I was married at 29). And happy birthday momma! Enjoy your last birthday before your little sprout joins you for the festivities πŸ™‚

    Oh – and I hear ya on inclement weather. I didn’t want my baby to come when it was pouring rain here in Van a week ago. Now, I don’t care what weather pattern we have, I just want her to come! LOL.

    • 14 Jessica February 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

      More labor vibes to you, my dear! I cannot believe she’s still hanging out and not ready, yet! I’d be going crazy (and in a few weeks, if he doesn’t come, I will be).

      So crazy sprout will be born in the same month as me…and my father in law…and cousin…and my dad. It’s like we pack it all into the shortest month of the year.

  7. 15 Rora February 2, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Thank YOU, for your blog! You are my first subscription, I read your entry yesterday and it came at a critical time- I’m an actress based in London and things are not going so well- I woke up yesterday thinking “Jeez is anyone as insane as me- working towards projects that seem impossible and crazy??” And then I read your blog. Sunrise is very important to me- new beginnings and all that- and you completed this beautiful project- heavily pregnant no less!

    You are a rock star. I hope everything goes splendidly with baby sprout.

    Cheers,
    Rora

    • 16 Jessica February 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

      Thank you so much, Rora!! I hope things start to look better for you on the acting job front in London. You know…keep pushing and keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll finally get where you need to go. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand why at the present moment.

  8. 17 JessSutera February 2, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    WHOA! I just looked at that freshly pressed post again – 300+comments?? That must have been UNREAL as they all came flooding it. HOW cool is that?? I love it – such an amazing project and like you said, goes to show that yes, some people *do* follow through on their goals right through to completion. Very very cool. PS NO SNOW NO SNOW!!!

    • 18 Jessica February 2, 2012 at 2:19 pm

      I WISH there would be no snow but…it’s looking like we have a 100% chance at this point! What are the odds?! πŸ™‚

      The comment thing was crazy…fun…but crazy! And you have your own little goal you’re about to embark on as well. How awesome!…26.2!

  9. 19 http://lifestartsnow.wordpress.com February 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    happy birthday and welcome to the 30-countdown. i have 13 months to go TO THE DAY! yikes

    let’s hope today will be your birthday only. there are so many days in a year, sprout should get his own special day!

  10. 20 DebbieQ February 2, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    You cannot have that baby until I am done with his present. That is an order so cross your legs.

    And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

  11. 21 Carrie Straka (@librarybug) February 2, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    The sunrise project is so freaking cool. I love the pics from your summary post. Congrats on making it an ENTIRE year. That’s huge. Good luck with the sprout. Oh, and Happy Birthday!

  12. 22 shawnandsuzanne February 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    I don’t think you’re crazy. You’re right, when you do something,pure, something from your heart, it always has impact in one way or another. It’s how the universe works. Thank you for being an inspiration to so many, including me πŸ™‚
    Also, it was good practice getting up before sunrise because soon you’ll be doing it for a whole new reason πŸ™‚

  13. 23 Rebecca Latson Photography February 3, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    Your sunrise photo book sounds like a job for Blurb.com I love that site.

  14. 24 lucindalines February 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Hey, babies come during snow storms. It is a fact of air pressure and water. You still inspire me. Hope your delivery and baby is everything you ever wished for. My last baby is almost 17 years old and my first just turned 26. I really wish that I had thought of something neat for them to have like a sunrise picture. Good luck again!:)


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