progress only happens without pants

Guess who’s officially full term (37 weeks)?

That’d be…the sprout, technically speaking.

There is no question that my belly is definitely full term OMG can it stretch any farther?! It is in a constant state of outness, if that’s even a word. My belly button goes from flat to complete outie depending on where the sprout is laying and how much I’ve recently eaten.

Yesterday, we had another OB appointment (I go weekly, now). One of the non-fun ones that will, from this point forward, include no pants.

I’m getting ahead of myself, here, but at the end, as Tim was trying to wipe off the gel stuff they use to listen to the fetal heartbeat and he was all, “You still have some in your belly button…”

I looked at him, pushed out my belly so my belly button popped completely out and smiled up at him all, “There you go!”

He just looked at me like, “Seriously?” and then started laughing.

I know. Sometimes we act entirely inappropriate and I’m sure people who see this kind of behavior cannot believe we’re actually going to be raising another human being.

Anyhow, the appointment! In (some kind of) order!

Suffice it to say they were late getting us back into a room and then I had to sit on the table thing for almost half an hour without any pants on. After about 20 minutes, Tim – who, by the way, was fully clothed and sitting in a chair – was all, “I’m starting to get annoyed.”

I looked over at him like, “Really? You’re complaining? I’m the one sitting here bare assed.”

The doctor finally came in and apologized for the wait and then proceeded to violate me in ways that are nothing compared to what childbirth will be like.

The good news is that (if you’re a guy, you might want to stop reading now…or maybe we passed that point already with the no pants) my body is actually doing something and the menstrual-like crampy feeling I get off and on isn’t all for naught.

I am officially one – almost two – centimeters dilated and 75% effaced with a cervix that is barely a finger tip long.

And she felt his head (WEIRD!).

Even though I am aware that this really means nothing and I can go 42 weeks without any further progress, I’ll have you know I said that to the OB all, “I know it doesn’t mean anything…” and she was like, “No. This is actually really good for a first timer.”

So there.

I’m doing well….for a first timer.

And this first timer ended up super crampy and spotty after such an exam, I’ll have you know. But, whatever, it’s progress, right?


I told Tim, who was legit bouncing off the walls knowing that I only have nine more centimeters to go before the sprout can make his appearance, that this weekend must include a ridiculous amount of walking and lots of um…(earmuffs, family)…deed-doing.

We’re also cleaning the house from top to bottom and I had a wild hair and decided to wash all the bedsheets this morning.

I’m sure it’s not nesting.

More like pre-preparing.


31 Responses to “progress only happens without pants”

  1. 1 jobo January 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

    You are so close!! I am so excited for you dear!!!!

  2. 5 Shannon January 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Since Hardscape will be your direction this weekend I told him if a sprout comes he must take a baby gift. He looked at me like I lost my mind and was all “just what she wants, a strange man coming to the hospital.” Then I agreed, only strange women should do that.
    In other related news, over Xmas, my cousin who is due in March was all “look at the baby nursery pictures. It is lagit exactly like yours. My uncle pulled out the level and did all the stitches though adn measured and ALL. I almost fell over. Random. They are also doing the same theme, what are the flippin chances.

  3. 7 Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength January 27, 2012 at 10:50 am

    It sure is nesting and there’s nothing wrong with it. Your house will never be this clean again. Or at least not for the next few years. πŸ™‚ So excited for you!

  4. 9 Spot January 27, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Yay! So close! And you’re getting some of the hard part done (the dilating and effacing). When Lu had her baby in July, she was only at the hospital for eight hours and she was a first timer- so it can go relatively quick. And being so fit will really help.



  5. 13 Angelia Sims January 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Sounds like it’s baby pool time! I think he will be a tad earlier than the due date. I’m going to get my prediction ready!! πŸ™‚ Nest away my dear. He is coming!!! Woo!!

  6. 15 Brett Minor January 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    My wife went in for an appointment and when they checked her they said she was 8 centimeters dilated. She had no idea. We had the baby 2 hours later.

  7. 17 Mrs Loquacious January 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    I am so envious! I am like 0% effaced and baby’s at -3, plus I got the ol’ internal special and ended up spotting too! No cramps though, and still 9 long cm to go. Mine also felt the head, but because of the -3 position, she really *really* had to get in there. Lovely. Did I mention today is my estimated due date?!

    Can’t wait until the office visits are over. They are NO fun.

  8. 20 JessSutera January 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Holy crap, you are almost there. So exciting!!

  9. 24 Txtingmrdarcy January 27, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    *bouncing with excitement!!!*

    Get on that deed-doing, we want to meet the Sprout!!

    (Also, this is the first time I’ve commented on your sex life. So there’s that. )

  10. 26 zenmamajo January 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    i love the ‘bare assed’ comment :). that’s exactly why i started taking a little throw blanket to appts with me (then i’d throw them right in to the wash afterwards, but that’s another story…) you’re totally right that it could be any day or a few more weeks. believe it or not – i was 2 cent dilated and 100% effaced at 28 weeks with my twins and they went until 35 w 6 d ?!?!?! i had always read about those women but to experience it was bizzarre! anyways – congratulations!

    • 27 Jessica January 29, 2012 at 2:31 pm

      The blanket is a good idea! I wanted twins…obviously that didn’t happen…but I thought it would have been fun! At least you delivered early! (Doesn’t everyone with multiples?)

      Also: Thank you!!

  11. 28 Sam January 28, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    “if you’re a guy, you might want to stop reading now”

    Please :). Some guys genuinely aren’t bothered by this stuff.

    Good luck to you three for the next little bit.

  12. 30 bevchen January 29, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Aww, this is so exciting πŸ˜€

Comments are Awesome! I love them all!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

this is where you ask those burning questions

Enter your email address to follow booshy and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,424 other followers

OR follow booshy with feed burner

my past…it happened

clever girls

stealing is not nice

%d bloggers like this: