along the lines of neat freak…

These were my notes for this post (I actually make notes, you guys!…or else I forget everything): Trying to prepare. Baby proof. Put away knick knacks. Get over dirt.

Remember the other day how I said how Tim and I were crazy Type A neat freaks?

Well, someone on Facebook commented on how we just need to wait…wait until the sprout starts getting his paws and prints on things that physics cannot even explain.

Excellent.

I’d like to think Tim and I will just laugh it off all, “I have no idea how he managed this…” but part of me knows that, at some point, we’re going to flip a whig (wig?) and go ape over something the sprout “permanently rearranges.”

It’s like the Type A won’t be able to contain itself any longer and we’ll fly off the handle.

I’m going to have to pray, daily..hourly, even, for both Tim and I to find the humor in everything revolving around utter chaos. If we cannot manage that, it’ll be a sad, lonely existence in a world of OMG. HE DID WHAT?!

I say this with hesitation because there has never been any humor in the poo assplosions we had from both Maddie and Lexi. Maybe they were trying to prepare us for the sprout but holy disgusting.

There was no laughing.

There was, in its place, lots of explicatives and yelling and gagging.

All of this came from Tim because that’s Tim’s job, now, since he knocked me up.

He’s the CEO of SHIT.

What in the hell are we going to do with a baby who has managed to smear poo from ass to elbow other than throw him in the tub and hose him down?

Suggestions are welcome.

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11 Responses to “along the lines of neat freak…”


  1. 1 DebbieQ January 21, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Hosing down in the tub is a LONG accepted practice. Believe me we would know. Sometimes it is just the only thing to do.

    And then blog about it so that the Sprout will REALLY hate you later in life. As I tell the progeny, embarrassing them NOW is my payment for all that they put me through when they were little.

  2. 2 Cindy Suzette Fausel January 21, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Better yet wait till sprout has assplosions as you call it AND throwing up at the same time. Just saying. Haaaaa You both will deal with it and do fine no matter what sprout does. I am curious to see how the fur babies and sprout get along. If there are any issues sprout has to go. Haaaaa Love your blogs.

  3. 3 Brett Minor January 21, 2012 at 10:12 am

    My son threw up daily. At 5 years old, we could be sitting at McDonald’s and he would look up and say, “I’m going to puke,” and then douse the table and our food. After a while we just got used to the smell.

  4. 4 April Hawks January 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    I have a sizable case of OCD. You can do this!!!! Sometimes, you just have to say “whatever” and let go. Lol. Of course not when there is poop involved.

  5. 5 Mrs Loquacious January 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Ew. I never thought of the puke angle. Or the poop. That will have to be Hubbs’ job.

  6. 6 Oregon Sunshine January 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Or, best of all, wait until Sprout is a toddler and finger paints with poo!

  7. 7 hellesbelles86 January 21, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Oh lord you’re talking about things I can’t even contemplate yet, and still I know I should be contemplating them heavily because it’s really too late to do otherwise. I agree tho that the tub is more than acceptable and if its summer time, the hose is not out of the question…. because you don’t have to clean the grass…

  8. 8 Anonymous January 22, 2012 at 12:51 am

    I’m not even a mom and I know all too well that you WILL encounter, not just cleaning but the finding of poop, puke, any/all squeezable creams, pastes, soaps, etc. , days old food and drink (possibly of the meltable variety) that has been hidden for safe keeping…… ummm really…… everything imagineable and then quite a few unimaginable….

    You can do it.

    It does stop being so gross quicker than you’d think.

    Love you, so excited!!! 🙂

  9. 9 Julia January 22, 2012 at 12:52 am

    I’m not even a mom and I know all too well that you WILL encounter, not just cleaning but the finding of poop, puke, any/all squeezable creams, pastes, soaps, etc. , days old food and drink (possibly of the meltable variety) that has been hidden for safe keeping…… ummm really…… everything imagineable and then quite a few unimaginable….

    You can do it.

    It does stop being so gross quicker than you’d think.

    Love you, so excited!!! 🙂

  10. 10 Jenera January 22, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Tubs, sinks, and any other water recepticle is completely allowed when trying to clean a child. Often times it is the easiest and less messiest way. Because at least once a week you’ll get the poo that goes all the way up the back that is impossible to clean with just wipes, lol.

  11. 11 Papa Guy January 22, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    Jessica, Dear…
    Your life is about to change.


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