The closer my due date gets (February 16) the more I start to internalize.
It’s like a maternal instinct or something telling me to get myself together and prepare for whatever kind of pain I’m about to be in.
I’ve been reading my “happy baby book” (The Happiest Baby on the Block) and the more I read about how babies will cry – a lot – the more I’m realizing that my days of sleep are coming to a close. Every time I get up during the night to pee I think about how many more times I’ll be getting up in almost a month’s time.
This realization makes ME want to cry.
I really like sleep…and I’m definitely going to miss it…
Tim and I will have help for part of February with my mom flying out…and also in the beginning of March with his parents, which will make things a little easier for us both, but since I want to exclusively breast feed – as in no bottle (or pumped breast milk) until six weeks – it’s not like someone can get up and feed the sprout for me.
Every time he’s hungry, I have to wake up.
I don’t do well on zero sleep. I’m cranky and mean and irritable and snippy and zero percent fun to be around. *I* don’t even like my sleep deprived self.
Granted, this breast feeding plan may fly right out the window but that’s my ideal scenario at the moment and I’m clinging to it like a lifeline since I no longer have a clue as to what kind of childbirth experience I’ll have.
I realize that it is possible for anyone to have any kind of labor and delivery, but if you go through your entire pregnancy with zero complications you can at least live on a wing and a prayer that your childbirth experience will be what you hoped for.
As for me…I’ll find out tomorrow if the sprout is still lying transverse and if he’s growing correctly and if my pieces parts, like my placenta, are functioning as they should be. If something isn’t right?
Suffice it to say that Tim and I are trying to be semi-prepared for the potential of baby sprout coming super early.
We did baby laundry (every time I said “baby laundry” Tim could crack up all, “Whenever you say that I think of tiny little shirts being washed…”) over the weekend, made sure the pack n’ play had clean sheets, his changing table pad was set up and the burp cloths, etc were washed and ready for action. We also ordered a bunch of important things – like a carseat – off of Amazon, so at least the sprout would have a way to get home…however I’ve yet to get anything packed for myself…but that’s what today is for, right?
I really don’t think we’ll end up with a baby by the weekend, but it’s better to be prepared than surprised.
Top all of the baby preparation off with Lexi and her foot swelling up like a blimp yesterday. We have no idea what happened and a vet visit is in order later this morning. Call it divine intervention in a weird, messed up way because both dogs also needed to have their Bordatella vaccine updated so we are able to drop them off at puppy daycare at a moment’s notice.
I suppose I should start doing something important, like packing my own bag or washing more of the sprout’s stuff…
It’s like if I procrastinate and don’t do it, it isn’t real…because I’m not even sure I’m ready for the reality that’s about to be at my vaginal doorstep.