If I was awesome and did what all of the “Super Mom’s” do at this point in pregnancy, I wouldn’t be eating chocolate. I’d avoid all plastic for fear of BPA. The nursery would already be done. My hospital bag would be packed and by the door. I’d be talking to the sprout like he was already out of my uterus at this point, seeing he has fully developed ears that come with the ability to hear me.

I’m not a Super Mom.

I’m a Super…not super?

I’m don’t know if it’s just me but, I really have no idea what to say to the sprout other than good morning or good night. Those two things seem sensible. I mean, do I narrate my day all, “I’m pooing now, sprout, and this is the point in the day where you don’t bother me…now I’m walking down the stairs to stuff my face because you make me STARVING (that’s totally an appropriate use of the word when pregnant).

I almost feel like I’m a crazy person, talking to my stomach. I like to think that whenever I *do* the whole good night or good morning thing, including a rub to the belly, and the sprout starts kicking, that it has something to do with my voice or my hand. Or both.

Does it?

I have no idea.

But it makes me feel better to think that way.

Tim and I bought these things called Belly BudsΒ for the sprout. They’re supposed to allow you to make a playlist or record a story and then hook up these special headphones to my “belly” and play the music or whatnot for your little one in utero. They have special “sound dampening” technology or whatever (I don’t do electronic lingo. Obviously), so I don’t blast the little sprout out of the womb. Did you know babies can cry in utero?? How depressing is that?! What if we record a story and he hates it and screams and cries (albeit muffled) every time it is played through the Belly Buds?

Mothering FAIL.

Anyhow, I’ve yet to make a playlist (We’re going classical here, people. I’m carrying the next Einstein. Duh) or record a story…so I should probably jump on that. I mean, my talking to the fur children probably has the sprout all confused, anyway, and by the time the sprout *is* actually out of the womb and I yell, “SIT!” or “Time for bed!” he follows suit and goes and curls up on the doggie blankets on the floor by the bed.


What I’m saying is that I should probably give him something sensical to listen to.

Because I am, apparently, super terrible at having a conversation with my belly.


21 Responses to “say…what?”

  1. 1 Kathy November 8, 2011 at 9:48 am

    Wait, don’t just make hm listen to classical music, you have to include all genre….so he’s well rounded and likes all of it!!!!

  2. 3 thewaiting November 8, 2011 at 9:55 am

    I have felt the exact same way about talking to my belly. It’s only this week that the baby will have any chance of hearing me at all, but I’ve been trying to get into the habit. And usually all I say is, “You are making me one hungry mommy!” or “Ouch! Stop that!” So basically all I do is complain to my wee one. Niiiiice.

  3. 5 Angelia Sims November 8, 2011 at 9:57 am

    I never did that either. But I think Sydney turned out OK? Lol.

  4. 7 Amy November 8, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    I think I would feel silly. So even though that doesn’t seem to be the issue with you.. I get it.

  5. 9 Sam November 9, 2011 at 4:19 am

    NO, not super-mom or mothering fail. There is no super-duper ‘right’ way to do things. There can’t be, because no matter what you do, there will be some busybody know-it-all to tell you you’re doing it wrong πŸ™‚

  6. 11 marketingtomilk November 9, 2011 at 5:14 am

    You don’t have to talk to the bump! baby will hear your beautiful voice, and learn to relax to its warm, friendly tones so that when he/she appears he knows you by your voice.
    Now – when it comes to the music – this you do need to be careful about. iff you play Queens of the Stone Age he/she may require this to get to sleep when he/she is born.


  7. 13 KB November 9, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Aww, you’re doing just fine. Don’t stress about all the things you *should*be doing. If you read all the “expert” opinions and tried to do it all, you’d turn into a crazy person! The best advice I can give is to listen to your mommy instincts. They are loud and strong and sometimes go against what other well meaning meddlers will try to tell you, but you and your body DO actually know what’s best! I know guys are way smart, so just do whatever you think is best preparation-wise and it will all fall into place just the way it’s supposed to. Think about it….even idiot-like people successfully give birth and raise kids. You guys are LIGHT YEARS ahead of them, so WIN!

  8. 15 lifestartsnow November 9, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    babies cry in utero? how in the world was that discovered, i wonder??

    lemme take a random guess, you and i and about 80% of your readers were not exposed to music in utero via headphones of some sort and we all turned out ok (stop laughing!).

    as long as you are a happy preggo your baby will be fine! music or not.

  9. 17 wildology November 9, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    I must admit, I have been saying the following, almost hourly, “Please, Please, Please get off mommy’s sciatic nerve.” It’s not working. Maybe music would help.

    • 18 Jessica November 10, 2011 at 5:27 pm

      Ugh! That sucks! I haven’t had that issue, thank goodness! Sciatic pain SUCKS. The belly buds are (supposedly) supposed to help babies who are breech turn….so maybe it’d help you?

  10. 19 JaimeLynne November 9, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Here I go with the unsolicited advice again (in my head it comes across as the gossipy girl friend type of advice instead of the annoying stranger who stops you in the store advice) but pick one song you like and play it repeatedly. When you play the song after sprout is born it will soothe him because he will associate with his happy free floating time. Whenever I sang or played the song for my son it always calmed him down (think 2 AM screaming for the fourth time since bedtime type of relief) and he still asks for it at bedtime five years later.

    Don’t worry about talking to sprout. He hears both of you talk to the other all the time, he will know your voice when he is born. Promises.

    You and Tim are doing perfect as first time parents for your child so just keep doing what you are doing. The great thing about babies? They don’t know when you are doing it wrong so try not to stress about doing everything the way anyone else thinks is right. Well except me. I know how to do everything perfect and only give fabulous advice. πŸ™‚

    • 20 Jessica November 10, 2011 at 5:28 pm

      I like how you couch your unsolicited advice as the gossipy girlfriend…totally makes the difference πŸ˜‰

      And…I never thought about it like that. The sprout has NO IDEA what is right or wrong. We…um…teach him that…yikes!

  11. 21 Lil November 14, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Bellybuds are awesome! They’re a great way to bond with the baby, and the VoiceShare feature is awesome. Any relative/friend who may live too far away can record a msg, and you can download and play it for the baby! Such a great idea πŸ™‚

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