I really have a difficult time with that show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.
It should be retitled “
I Didn’t Know I’m In Denial I Was Pregnant”
Apparently, it is just beyond my ability to conceive…
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?!?!?!??!!!!!
Maybe you’re thinking the baby kicking is just gas…gas so volatile and explosive that you can see your abdomen move from the outside.
Maybe the weight gain is just one too many (stress) Twinkies or it’s water weight that never goes away.
Maybe the sudden increase in boob size is just a gift from good ol’ Saint Nick because you were a really, really good girl this year.
Maybe you can rationalize all the little quirks that start happening to your body as random, unrelated symptoms chalked up to really long string of bad days.
The one thing I cannot seem to wrap my head around is how, all of a sudden, visits from the Red Tidal Wave/Aunt Flo/The Monthly Suck Fairy cease to exist AND YOU THINK THAT’S NORMAL.
If there is one thing pregnant women all over the world have to cheer about during those ten months of work, creating and carrying around another human, it’s a reprieve from HER.
And yours just….disappears all magician like? Poof?
Maybe you’ve always had irregular cycles…but if your cycle becomes so irregular that you don’t have to use a tampon for ten months?
Hello, red flag.
(I know. I kill myself with the puns…)
I’m certain there is someone out there who is 100% convinced that it’s possible to go all the way through pregnancy without realizing that she is, indeed, ‘with child,’ and then get a surprise in the toilet one afternoon after a horrendous bout of what she claimed were “stomach cramps” all, “OMG! It isn’t gas! It’s a girl!”
And to those people I’d like to say: Obviously, someone wasn’t paying attention to the BODY AWARENESS lesson in kindergarten.