shiny happy people

Apparently, the sprout is now “mature” enough to hear sounds – albeit muffled – outside the womb.

This means Tim and I have been practicing for the days when he’s out and about, able to easily hear everything and rattle off what mommy and daddy say like a parrot.

I see why phrases like “fudge nipples” and “shut the front door!” and…ok. Maybe those are bad examples…but you get my point, right?

Tim has apparently decided to adopt British slag to substitute other, more recognizable, Americanized choice words.

His favorite?


And putting this non-curse-word-lifestyle into practice?

Way harder than we thought.

Half the time you don’t even realize it’s happening…

Tim: What the hell?! Dude pulled right into my lane!

Me: You can’t say “hell!” The sprout can HEAR YOU!!!

Tim: Oh, right…

Me: And we really shouldn’t road rage at people…probably something that would be listed in the bad example column…Dammit! Did you see that guy?! Pulled right in front of us!!

Tim: Umm…

Me: Wha….oh crap! Shoot!…whatever!

I’m also supposed to have an aura of cool, calm and collected, since my stress can impact the sprout.

No one wants an uptight baby.

Just sayin.

I’ve started calling this my “shiny happy people” attitude………that I’m having a difficult time channeling………….

Me: Maddie!! Lexi!!! No!! Out of the kitchen! Stop snoofing!!

(“snoofing” = scouring the floor with their noses and tongues for the tiniest crumb we may dropped making dinner)

Tim: Girls!! Out!!! Ouuuut!!!

Me: What is wrong with them?!?!! You know, once the sprout is here they’re going to be THAT MUCH WORSE….oh, damn….that wasn’t very shiny happy people of me, was it?

Tim: Definitely not….and sweetheart?

Me: Hm?

Tim: You can’t say “damn.”


26 Responses to “shiny happy people”

  1. 1 Peedee October 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    I may get torn up for this comment but here goes.

    Lauren heard every curse word under the sun at least 27 bagillion times before she actually uttered one in conversation to me at the ripe old age of 16 or so. And I believe it was only shit, the eff bomb didn’t come till much later.

    Maybe that’s why she did so well in the Navy. She had the sailors potty mouth down before she ever enlisted….

    I’m not proud of these facts I’ve laid out but I can attest to the fact that she’s an awesome adult now despite me and my potty mouth.


  2. 4 mamadestroy October 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    Don’t stress. You WILL say stuff that you shouldn’t. Your child WILL repeat it. At a completely inappropriate moment. and you WILL be mortified. But if will make a hilarious story later, so embrace it!

  3. 6 Cindy October 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Good luck! That’s all I’ve got. LOL

  4. 8 Amy October 25, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    I am not anti-curse (although I will attempt to tone it down, lest the bean think we are sailors in the merchant marines or something), I just hope bean learns to use curse words properly and in context. I was once opening mocked (in 6th grade!) for using “shit” incorrectly.

    I am attempting to be more serene and less road ragey, though. I don’t want to have a stressed out baby who thinks it’s okay to yell at the elderly person who DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MERGE-HOW HARD IS IT? THIS ISN’T ROCKET SCIENCE, PEOPLE! ahem…..

  5. 11 Daniela October 25, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    I got a little anecdote:
    I grew up with not hearing many curse words, they were banned with my parents (at least when I was around, no idea what they did behind my back ^^). One day, when I was about 3 years old, my mom just once said “shit”. I realized quickly how bad a word it was and started running around saying “shit” everywhere and to everyone. My poor mom!
    Since this day, “shit” is the only officially allowed curse word at home.

    And for you, come on,do you really think the sprout will come out saying all those bad words? 😉
    I think it’s way more important to be relaxed and not angry-mad-furious-whatever, ’cause the sprout can feel your feelings, too. 🙂

  6. 13 thewaiting October 25, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    Maybe whenever you want to cuss, you can just say “SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE!” 😉 On another note, it makes me sad that my baby will be born in a world where REM is no more.

  7. 15 jobo October 25, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    HAHA! that is hilarious. I’d never even think of that. And what is fudge nipples? What swear is that?! I am a moron I think…

  8. 17 thewaiting October 26, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Quick question for you; would it be OK if I link you in a post I’m planning on writing? This post got me thinking about language and stimulus, about what infants hear, and how I’m just enough of a wannabe hipster to want to make sure that my baby won’t nerd out on me and prefer Barney to REM and the like 🙂 Anyway, I just wanted to give you your due as an inspiration 🙂

  9. 19 PJ October 26, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Swear words (curse words, whatever) were not allowed in our house growing up. Even “crap” wasn’t allowed. I don’t remember what I said; but, I said something I wasn’t supposed to and the punishment was having to brush my teeth with soap. Like literally having to put liquid soap on my toothbrush and having to brush my teeth for at least 2 minutes. Needless to say, I always watched my words from that point on. It’s kind of funny because even now my mom still doesn’t like swear words around her. She makes this face and will go “hey, watch your language.” Even if it’s a just a “what the hell.”

    On a completely different baby note – found this link to a blog article on what this mom (of 2 boys) likes and uses:

    • 20 Jessica October 27, 2011 at 8:33 am

      Thank you for that link!!! I always scour the web in search of blogs, etc like this!! YAY!!

      And I can’t believe you had to brush with soap!! Wow! I can’t imagine how disgusting that was.

  10. 21 Angelia Sims October 26, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    Our five-year old dropped the S bomb. I really hope it wasn’t from me. Lol! I had to use new words after I met Jason. Took a while to get them to stick. Your conversations are toooo funny!

    BTW- is it snowing yet?

    • 22 Jessica October 27, 2011 at 8:34 am

      It snowed!! I posted a picture on Faceplace and Twitter…we got somewhere around 7 inches…though it’ll all melt by tomorrow. 🙂

      And oops with the 5 year old…though I see it happening here, too…

      (I think our conversations are way funnier in hindsight. 😉 )

  11. 23 Sam October 27, 2011 at 2:10 am

    You could always practice some conversational Maori. You kind of have to grow up with it to pronounce it properly, but instead of ‘F’ maori uses a ‘Wha’ pronounced as ‘Faa’ (roughly). Consequently in the AC age (after children) one of my wife’s favourite expletives is “WHAKARONGO MAI!”
    (It is the first word in this clip: )
    Translates as “Listen to me!”, but it is the first two syllables that are the main thing. This also makes placenames like Whakapapa and Whakatane fun for non-locals 🙂

    We have mostly tempered our language since Charlotte started speaking, but she has uttered the odd “fucksake!”. Luckily she hasn’t picked up on the odd “fuck-o-rama!” that has been dropped in her presence.

    • 24 Jessica October 27, 2011 at 8:35 am

      Random question….what’s the difference in significance with fuck-o-rama versus fucksake? I must be missing something…..lost in translation?….maybe I’m just slow. I have no idea…

  12. 25 Sam October 28, 2011 at 5:47 am

    ‘Fucksake’ is a contraction of “For Fuck’s Sake”, or an expansion of “FFS!”. No real difference in significance other than adding to the colour of vocabulary 🙂 “O-rama” is just a handy emphatic suffix, pretty much interchagable with “a-doodle-do” in this context…

  1. 1 Baby Mix « The Waiting Trackback on October 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

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