skiing upset

Something I am still not used to, growing up in the suburban Atlanta, Georgia my entire life:

Colorado weather is C-R-A-Z-Y.

How it is going to be almost 80 one day and then snowing two days later?

Well, Georgia has those crazy shifts in temperature, too, but it rarely involves snow.

Anyhow, this isn’t a weather forecast. It’s to tell you that when I saw snow in the forecast, it reminded me about how when we moved here last year, the ONE AND ONLY THING I wanted to do was go skiing.

I begged.

I pleaded.

I pouted and complained.

I threatened.

Tim doesn’t want anything to do with skiing because of his knees. Back in the day, he had knee surgery and they removed part of his meniscus – aka the thing that helps his leg bones not crunch together. Obviously, skiing would result in lots of crunching, so I totally understand…except…I STILL HAVE MY MENISCUS.


Nevermind the hard truth that I’ve only been skiing once in my entire life (Georgia girl, remember).

I’m pretty sure it was around the time I was in seventh grade.

(Mom! Seventh grade was a BIG YEAR)

(She pokes fun at me, saying that I am always convinced that anything monumental or memorable that happened in my life happened in the seventh grade)

So, that particular skiing trip, as excited as I was about my adventures in skiing and as many times as I rolled my eyes at the instructor all, “Psh. I can get up if I fall” when he was showing us how to hoist ourselves up with our poles from the side, resulted in a terrifically horrendous crash down one of the beginner bunny slopes.

Funny, I was so pumped riding the ski lift to the “top of the slope” (which was really within walking distance of the bottom of the runs). I really should have put up the warning flag when I almost didn’t make it off the ski lift in one piece.

First timer skier PSA: That thing moves! If you don’t get out of the way?

It doesn’t care.

It’ll bowl you right over.

For a girl who has A: never gone skiing before and B: didn’t receive any instruction on How to Exit a Ski Lift?

Someone really should have included that bit of information in the tutorial, is all I’m saying.

However, being the typical young, indestructible, naïve preteen, I was certain that pro skier math worked something like this:

I managed to dodge and weave my way from the ski lift, therefore? I am an excellent skier.

I would fly down the run and come to a skidding halt, poles still in hand while my arms pumped the the air in victory, head thrown back, smiling.


I pushed myself off the start of the run to begin The Run of My Life where, at the end, everyone within sight would be applauding my incredible skills.

Things started out ok.

And by ok I mean I remained upright.

However, another thing *they* failed to mention during my ski tutorial is that your skis cut through the snow like buttah.

I wasn’t prepared for like buttah and my speed increased exponentially.

To the point I was no longer skiing.

I was an out of control, twisting, contorting, flailing disaster.

These kinds of disasters never end with your arms pumping the air in victory.

When I finally stopped rolling, I sat up and oriented myself and I realized I no longer had anything I started with.

The skis?

Both were sticking straight up out of the snow about ten feet from each other.

My poles? Strewn about the edges of the run…the opposite edges.

Then, the reality of the situation hit me. Not only did I just make a total idiot of myself, I now had to do the walk of shame back up the slope to retrieve my equipment and then figure out how to ski back down the remainder of the slope without crashing…again.

As I trudged back up the slope to retrieve my equipment, having to dart out of the way of other people who were actually skiing, I racked my rattled brain, trying to remember what the ski instructor taught us.

Finally, I decided on the “V” formation.

It seemed like the safest plan.

After I sat in the snow, struggling with reattaching my skis and then cursing the moment I decided to mock the instructor with his “how to get on your feet by pushing yourself up from the side” (because it’s not as easy as one would think. In fact, it’s damn near impossible), I slowly shuffled my way down the slope, skis probably on the wrong feet, my pride completely shattered.

I sucked at skiing.

And I haven’t been since.

Except, when I learned we’d be moving to The Skiing Capital of the World (not really, but…), that’s the only thing I wanted to do.


We went through the entire winter – the winter of Epic Skiing due to all of the snow – without even going to a town that had a ski slope.

Not. A. One.

I know what you’re thinking: “Just go this year! The skiing season is starting! GO GET YOUR REDEMPTION!”

And that sounds like such a lovely, made-for-a-TV-movie kind of plan.




Pregnancy math = no skiing until the sprout is on the outside which = no skiing until next ski season.



Who will be freshly born JUST IN TIME for ski season?

The sprout.

I’m not entirely sure how much my disappointment in not being able to go skiing last year has increased (THERE ARE NOT WORDS), but Tim – smart man as he is – doesn’t even bring up anything remotely related to skiing because he knows he’ll receive THE WRATH.

And I’m pretty positive THE WRATH would start something like, “YOU REMEMBER HOW LAST YEAR WE NEVER WENT SKIING??!???!….” and just go downhill from there.


13 Responses to “skiing upset”

  1. 1 Cindy October 22, 2011 at 9:57 am

    Well, if that conversation does happen, and it goes downhill as you predict, at least it would have something in common with skiing? 😉 Just try not to crash! (How much do you hate me right now?)

    • 2 Daniela October 22, 2011 at 5:47 pm

      Love the downhill reference! *lol*

      Your 7th grade was my 8th grade, we went skiing…
      Lucky English speaking people, you call it bunny hill. In German, it’s the Idiot Hill…
      Well, it was quite a desaster and honestly when I did something to my knee the third day, I was actually relieved knowing I wouldn’t have to do it again. As in never. ever. again. And I didn’t. (Now I just need to stay away from winter-sport-crazy people 😉 )

  2. 3 Anonymous October 22, 2011 at 10:05 am

    so Funny! Actually, I remember Al Harris telling me that you were a natural skier!…I That he had never seen anyone take to skiing like you a natural athelete….I don’t think the basketball coach would have liked it….(Speaking of basketball…did you hear about the oldest guy in college football who took his 4th year of eligibility? You can still play basketball in college for one year!) I am really am trying to remember if it was 7th grade or not…I think that was a senior high youth trip …skiing in Gatlinburg. But, yes,7th grade was a very big year…it could have very well been 7th grade again. How is the sprout? I’m calling him “River”…because when they call out his name @ school it would be Bold River!….makes me laugh!

  3. 4 bevchen October 22, 2011 at 10:27 am

    I lived in Austria for a whole year and never went skiing once!

  4. 5 Amy October 22, 2011 at 10:56 am

    I grew up in (eastern) South Dakota, so didn’t have a lot of skiing opportunities. However, in 7th grade (it was a very big year for everyone, apparently), my youth group went to a small ski place. I did GREAT on the bunny hill. I was practically ready for the Olympics.

    And then – I decided to up the game. I rode up the chair lift, and at the top was a tiny little hill – smaller than a bunny hill – that led to the main runs. I bit it about 15 feet down that tiny hill. My skis and boots and poles all went flying. I don’t want to get into detail about what happened next, but the words “blue sled” and “ski patrol” come to mind. (It’s not nearly as exciting to meet the hotties in the ski patrol when you have to spend the remainder of your ski trip in their little cabin icing a sprained ankle.)

    So, even though I live in Oregon – adjacent to some fantastic skiing, I do not DO winter sports.

    There will totally be snow ’til like April, right? You might not WANT to go skiing 4 weeks post partum, but the option is there 🙂

  5. 6 Maureen October 22, 2011 at 11:21 am

    I have never been skiing. Ever. I live 15 minutes away from a ski mountain but… it is expensive. I just can’t justify paying that much money to fall on my butt the whole time, which is what I would do.

  6. 7 Amy October 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    Hilarious. Skiing and ice skating.. two things I’ve never done and never want to because I love living. Two things on a list of like 5000 that include hang-gliding, bungee jumping, sky diving and really anything else that has the potential to plummet me to the ground head-first from a large height.

  7. 8 October 22, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    Ski season is something we actually took into consideration in our “family planning”. My husband is ready to jump on the baby train, but there was no way I was going to be pregnant for the entire ski season this year after I just bought brand new skis. 🙂

  8. 9 B October 23, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    When the sprout arrives, I’m sure dad wouldn’t mind watching so you can FINALLY go skiing 😉

  9. 10 bookbabie October 23, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Congrats on the new baby, much more fun than skiing…although a bit more tiring! Maybe you and the sprout can take lessons together someday:)

  10. 11 JaimeLynne October 23, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    I went skiing once at the end on the season seven years ago. Since my husband was on the ski team in HS I opted for private lessons on the bunny hill before braving the chair lift up the medium hill. There are not enough lessons in the world to prepare you for your first chair ride and trip down a real hill. I was so sure I would fall face first over my skis I spent the entire time clutching my poles and feet turned in the snow plow formation. My daughter was conceived on that trip so even though I did go down a black diamond hill once on our final night I never got to experience the thrill of speeding down the hill feeling like the best skier in the world. I tell myself one day I will bring my kids to the resort and they can stand at the bottom and be my cheering section, Sprout and Tim can be yours next year. 🙂

  11. 12 supacoo October 25, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Snowboarding is easier! Let’s plan a trip in March, and leave babies with their daddies!!

  12. 13 Sam October 27, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Reminds me of the time a couple of years ago when I snowboarded for the first. Getting up and turning pretty easy, stopping not so much…

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