I feel like it’s my duty to warn you (women) about one of the things that will happen to your husband when Child One is conceived.
We all know men like to tinker with things – any THING – and will not stop until they’ve satisfied their curiosity over how it works or how it was constructed or why it is broken. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been all, “Seriously! How long are you going to mess with that before you’re done?!”
The response never changes: UNTIL I FIND THE ANSWER
And OMG that can take forever…days, even…and by that point, I’ve moved on and totally forgotten about it and then Tim will come to me out of nowhere all, “I KNOW WHY IT’S BROKEN!”
What’s broken, again?
Also? I’ll never understand how, when you get a group of men together, one thing will lead to another and soon they’ve made a game that entertains them for hours out of a piece of string, a tennis ball and a paper clip.
It’s like men are built to play with things (and WOW didn’t that just come out in a way I didn’t exactly mean…) and so that’s what they do. When they get “too old” to play with kids toys, they move onto the adult versions….which are always way more expensive and a million times more dangerous.
Except…enter Child One.
A baby will make things entirely more interesting in the man + toy dichotomy.
Once you’re knocked up, it may take your husband a month or two to figure it out, but eventually, they’ll make the connection:
Pregnant Wife = Baby
Baby = Stuff
Stuff = Super Fun Toys
And I love playing with Super Fun Toys!
But...wait a second…if Baby = Stuff and Stuff = Super Fun Toys…then…Baby = ..!!!!
(this is the part where the connection is made and his head explodes with confetti)
Tim finally put two and two together one random Saturday afternoon. I don’t even know how it happened, really, but all of a sudden were in a toy store called Grandrabbits – which is kind of like a KB Toys, if you remember those.
(I know. Best name ever.)
We spent over an hour in Grandrabbits. I think Tim played with or touched every single toy they had sitting out (for the kids). Every few minutes he was all, “Sweetheart! LOOKIE AT THIS!” or “Ohhh! ONE OF THESE!” or “YAY! SCIENCE PROJECTS! or “I’m totally teaching the sprout engineering!”
And I was all, “What if he doesn’t LIKE engineering?”
Tim: Boys always like that stuff. That’s how we’re built. Duh.
Me: Well, excuuuuuuse me. I’ll be sure to remind the sprout about this conversation when he wants to be a butterfly for Halloween.
Tim: That’s science.
FOOTNOTE: Ok, ok. I’ll admit I wasn’t totally hands off. I did get super excited at the wooden train set with the magnetic cars that attach to one another…but only because we had one when I was a kid and I LOVED IT.