I used to have lots of people I considered “best” friends. Actually, going through elementary and middle school, it seemed like I have a new BFF every year…the friend from the previous year falling off the map or moving or something.
They went somewhere.
Or I went somewhere.
Or we both…went…somewhere.
My fourth grade best friend, Autumn, moved to Texas.
Fifth grade, Rachael, went to another school when we all moved over to middle school.
Seventh grade, Ashley. She moved…though we’re Face place friends now…it’s not the same.
Except, all of these “best” friends weren’t the same as the “best” friends I knew from the church I grew up in. The church friends were always my BFF’s, through all of my school friends moving away or losing touch. Though I eventually went to high school with a few of my church friends, it was still different. Those friendships…were different. They were constant. I saw my church friends every Sunday. There were always trips over the summer – retreats or missions or summertime events every week.
We all grew up.
Some of us got married.
Some of us started having kids.
Some of us moved away (me).
Now? I can honestly say I do not have a BFF.
Why is it so much easier to make friends as a kid versus an adult? It’s almost worse than dating. Granted, part of this is my fault because I’m super guarded. It’s hard for me to open up and let someone in to the point I am vulnerable. I think that has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older, too, for whatever reason.
Except now…now it is vital that I find friends, preferably ones with children, because I want the sprout to grow up surrounded by lots of people and friends and fun memories. This means I’m going to have to put myself out there…be vulnerable…open up.
And that is WAY HARDER (sue me, grammar police) to do now.
Then…the bloggy world of friends…so fickle and constantly changing. I also feel like most of the people who (used to?) read my blog have no idea what I’m talking about anymore with the baby and pregnancy and the title “mommy” looming in the near future.
(loud, audible sigh)
I guess step one is to bake cookies for the neighbors…and to get along with Tim’s friend from WAY back (who happens to live near us) this weekend when we have dinner.
I’m supposed to make a salad to bring for dinner.
Obviously, this friend has no idea the history between cooking and me.