gender…disappointment?…err…shock?

***First, thank you ALL for the wonderful comments on the reveal of Sprout’s sex! They were all so sweet and Tim and I loved reading them! It is really nice to have you all join us on our little Sprout journey.  And by the way, yes, NYSoonerGirl, the ultrasound tech did absolutely said “fetal porn.”***

You know those women who are all, “OMG. MY. LIFE. IS. RUINED.” when they finally find out they’re *not* having the gender they thought they were?

Well, that’s not where I’m going, here. Not exactly, anyway.

From the very beginning, Tim was mostly pretty much convinced we were having a girl. It seemed to be the pattern in our families and why wouldn’t we just follow suit? His sister is the first born…I’m the first born in my family…my mom’s mom had a girl first…and on down the line.

So, obviously, we should  be having a girl, right?

We took all of the old wives tale gender predictors before we had our “big” ultrasound to give us visual proof – from the Chinese gender calendar to various quizzes and anything else we could possibly find.

They all said we’d be bringing a little girl into the world. The Chinese apparently swear by this gender calendar thing….”used for thousands of years…accurate…blah blah blah…” (and I’m not trying to be offensive to the Chinese. Just FYI. And just to show some goodwill, this is where I’d typically say something in Mandarin but I have no idea how to make those special characters and I’m also pretty sure I’d mix up the symbols and end up saying something extremely derogatory. But that thought was there, is all I’m saying).

The only “predictor” that was right was the poll on my blog. YOU all guessed that the Sprout was a boy.

I definitely should have listened…to you.

Anyhow, Tim and I obviously didn’t follow any kind of chart or family history or whatever plan (that we never really had). We’ve got a boy, without the shadow of a doubt, currently growing and tumbling around inside of me.

Are we disappointed?

Slightly shocked is the more appropriate word. I was trying *not* to think of the baby as one sex or the other…though it was hard not to get caught up in all of the cute girly things and pink and frills and rainbows. Early on in my pregnancy, I  had two separate dreams about our little Sprout. In both dreams, the Sprout was a boy.

I didn’t really make the connection, this being my first time and all. I just thought, “Oh, baby dream. It must be because I’m preggo.”

However, whenever we talked about the Sprout *probably* being a girl, I never felt completely convinced on the inside that it was, you know, actually a girl. Part of me was like, “Might want to think about that one again because the she in your head definitely looks more like a he on the inside.”

Mistake on my part: I never told Tim my reservations. We just kept on with they girl thoughts.

That is, until the ultrasound tech was all, “There’s the scrotum and penis! It’s a little boy!

I’m pretty sure the first thing out of Tim’s mouth, after he picked his jaw up off the floor, was, “Wow. Just…wow. We were definitely wrong.”

From the start, Tim said that he didn’t really care if it was a boy or a girl, just that the baby was healthy. Except, when you start thinking of the baby as one sex for almost 20 weeks and then you find out that it is actually the complete opposite?

Kind of throws you off balance.

Not in a bad way. More like “Sprout…well…how do we say…sprouted down there.”

Instead of pink and ribbons it is trucks and bandaids. It’s Tim having to be the male role model in a way he wasn’t really considering. It’s a totally different way of thinking with a boy than it is with a girl.

Completely. And. Totally. Different.

If I am honest with myself and with everyone else, in my own little idea of a family, that I came up with who knows how many years ago, my perfect plan was two children, the boy first and then a little girl. I always thought it would be nice for the girl to have an older brother to look after her.

Technically, this little boy Sprout is falling perfectly into my plan. The only hiccup with this plan is that I let myself believe (a little) that the Sprout was a girl, so now I’m having to adjust my thinking.

To boy.

I almost feel guilty for even thinking this way. Yet, I figure I may as well be honest and put it out there to help myself get over it and move forward with the rough and tumble.

I hear that you lose weight faster with boys. 

I’m totally on board with that.

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28 Responses to “gender…disappointment?…err…shock?”


  1. 1 DebbieQ September 22, 2011 at 9:43 am

    Well now I know what to do as far as knitting is concerned. Thank goodness you have a bit of time to readjust the thinking. We elected never to know the sex of any of the progeny before they emerged, alien like, out of the womb. I think I apologized to HHBL after the third girl because I just wasn’t going to do the whole pregnancy thing again. 4 pregnancies in 6 years was all this girl was going to take.

  2. 3 JessSutera September 22, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Hey you know what? I’d totally be feeling the same way as you. I don’t think ANYONE can not have a slight moment of “whoa, that’s different” when you get news like that. And it’s ok to feel the way you do…not disappointed, just sort of thrown off. Either way, you have a beautiful little child growing in there which is a miracle in and of itself and you will love him just as much regardless of gender. 🙂

  3. 5 Daniela September 22, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Congrats on the boy! 🙂

    But you totally stole my idea!!
    “two children, the boy first and then a little girl. I always thought it would be nice for the girl to have an older brother to look after her.”
    That’s what I have in my head. If I’ll ever have more than one child, I’d like it to be a boy first aka Big Brother Watching Over Little Sister.

  4. 7 Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength September 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Funny…I was absolutely convinced we were having a girl and then we found out we were having a boy too! BUT…what really matters is that the lil one is healthy. We found out the sex of our baby when we had a scare and thought he was not healthy so it made the sex REALLY not matter at all. Thankfully we found out the next day that he was going to be okay, but it sure did change how I looked at it!

    You’re gonna love having a boy! It’s awesome. 🙂

    • 8 Jessica September 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm

      So glad everything ended up ok in the end! We’ve been fortunate so far – everything has come back normal.

      I’ve heard boys are awesome…and I guess I’ll find out first hand…really soon!! 🙂

  5. 9 LittleMissVix September 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

    I understand because most girls have an image of their daughter, dressing her up, making her room pink and sparkly etc but when you hold him in your arms you’ll forget all that I’m sure! Plus as you say he can hopefully be an older brother one day! Congrats 🙂

    • 10 Jessica September 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm

      That probably is part of it…maybe I feel like I can relate better to a girl?….I’m sure you’re right, though. Once he’s here…I won’t be able to imagine it any other way.

      Also: thank you!!

  6. 11 PJ September 22, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    My parents were told that I was a boy for almost the whole pregnancy and then – surprise! – it’s a girl! So I can’t imagine what they felt when they got that news at like the last possible moment. (needless to say – all of my baby stuff is/was blue). Not to worry you, since technology is so much better and more accurate now. That and you have a crystal clear picture.

    For what i’s worth, I always wanted an older brother, so your plan is a good one.

    • 12 Jessica September 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      That? What your parents went through? Don’t think I’d do very well with that scenario…though I’m sure I’d get over it 🙂 too funny you had lots of blue clothes!

      I’d imagine an older brother would be awesome. I’ll never know but, still.

      • 13 PJ September 26, 2011 at 9:56 am

        It wasn’t just clothes. It was everything. My baby book, blankets… People used to tell my mom what a cute son she had. From what I’ve been told, she used to come home and just cry (you know hormones and all) because I was a girl. Needless to say, I was dressed in a lot pink and ruffles when I was an infant.

        With my younger brothers, my mom just asked for gender neutral things – which paid off because they told her that my youngest brother was a girl for like 6 months. Maybe she just needed a better doctor.

  7. 14 Txtingmrdarcy September 22, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    I don’t want to be terrible and admit that I’m really hoping for one over the other someday… And that my fiance’s family makes ALL boys…. So before we start trying, I pretty much have to be ready for sons. SOOOO not what I “pictured.”

    I understand. That’s the point. 😉

  8. 16 Papa Guy September 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    heck, I voted Boy……
    This time I voted “Late”……
    It’ll be fine, when your daughter has a big brother to watch after her.

  9. 18 Wildology September 23, 2011 at 8:53 am

    Isn’t it crazy that you are growing A PENIS!!! Well, YOU aren’t but you are growing one INSIDE you. SO crazy!

    I think, regradless of which sex it is, I will be a little sad it wasn’t the other. That’s how I role. Healthy takes the cake, though!

  10. 21 JaimeLynne September 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Congrats on such a cooperative baby, let’s hope that he stays that way after he is out. As for being the first, first born boy in the family think of it as he a trend setter even in the womb.

    Girls come with pretty bows and dolls and boys are mud and trucks; but of the two boys are easier. With a boy you throw them in a bath, let them splash around; after they get out they are warm and soft and want to cuddle. With girls once they get out of the bath it is time to fight to get all the tangles out of their hair, deal with the tantrums when you don’t do their hair *just right*, complain their skirt is the wrong shade of pink and doesn’t match, then tell you they got a hole in the tights you just spent 20 minutes putting on them.

    Another bonus to the boy verse girl debate…. With boys you only have to worry about one penis, with girls you have to worry about everyone else’s. Yep, girls are easier as babies and for potty training (no throwing cheerios in the toilet to aim for) but overall boys are easier. 🙂

  11. 23 Maureen September 24, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Haha. Like PJ, I always wanted an older brother too. I’m thinking about adopting one. Would that be weird? Anyway, having a boy is probably a good thing. They are much less dramatic, or so I’ve heard.

  12. 25 Angelia Sims September 26, 2011 at 8:13 am

    I really do know what you mean. I thought my daughter was a girl from day one. We actually did not find out until 36 weeks that she was a girl, but if they had said boy……I would have been SHOCKED.

    You are going to be a GREAT mommy to a little boy. You will get that mom/son bond that people talk about it. 🙂

  13. 27 Amber & Nala September 28, 2011 at 12:19 am

    Congrats on your baby boy!! 🙂


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