it’s a…!!!!!!!!!!

Are you just dying to find out!??!

Me too!

Er..I was…too..!!!!!

But first, before the good stuff, let me just say I have never in my life had to pee more than I did today before we were done with the ultrasound. OMG.

Last night, I spent about an hour trying to figure out what I was supposed to do to make sure I didn’t have an uncooperative sprout during the ultrasound. The last thing I wanted to happen was to have a shy or lazy baby who was all, “I’m kind of sleeping, here. Go. Away.”

Turns out, orange juice seems to wake the baby right up and get them moving. So, of course, I made sure to bring a large travel mug full of orange juice with me. About 30 minutes before our scheduled appointment time, I started chugging.

Plan B was sitting in my purse: chocolate.

However, after drinking two super huge glasses of water…we’re talking somewhere around 36 ounces or so each…all within about an hour and a half…adding more fluid to the bladder fire only made things thatmuchworse. Telling a pregnant person to DRINK MORE and NOT PEE is like the most horrid form of punishment you could prescribe.

To (hopefully) ensure quick ultrasound success, Tim and I had a pep talk with the sprout on the way to the doctor all, “Sprout, if you’re going to nap, now’s the time because in about an hour? You’re on. And remember our earlier conversation? Vanity in the womb is for sissies. Spread ’em wide for mommy and daddy!”

I was shaking, with massive chills running up and down my body, by the time we made it to the doctor. I looked at Tim all, “They better hope they take us early and that it doesn’t take long because OMG. Emergency.”

Good news for everybody: they took us early.

Almost from the get-go, the ultrasound tech started asking if I was ok. Probably because my entire lower body was legit shaking and spasming all, “I’m doing everything in my power to NOT PEE and whatever manual manipulation that’s going on isn’t exactly fair or conducive to dry pants.

And then again with the, “How are we doing? Are you ok?”

Me? Oh, yes. Fine. Perfect. You’re just pressing on my stomach and I’m freezing and oh, my bladder? Fuller than an overstuffed turkey on Thanksgiving.

No big deal.

Let’s just get on with it, eh? Or else I might actually pee on you.

So, on we went.

When she first put the ultrasound magical wand thing on my stomach and the baby popped up she was all, “Oh! You’re pregnant!”

Uhmm…Is that a trick question? I don’t understand. Yes?

She wasn’t really paying attention to the confusion on my face, she just kept going with whatever it was she was doing and the sprout? Moving like a fiend! I guess the OJ really worked because she kept having to reposition the wand all, “Wow! They’re really moving there!”

I was all, “I drank OJ. Worked like a charm, no?”

She just stared at me and then said in a flat, almost disciplinary voice, “Why do people do that?

Uhm……so we don’t have a sleepy baby? It’s not like I fed them crack or something. Geez.

This is the only profile shot we got…not great but, still, look how big the sprout has gotten!

Turns out, my over indulgence in water had also managed to fill the sprout’s bladder. The tech lady was all, “Oh…you see that big white circle? That’s the baby’s bladder. And it’s…full. Yep. Definitely full.”

Like mother, like sprout. Or something.

You people are the ones who told me to fill my bladder.

I’m just following directions.

YOUR directions.

And by the way?

YOUR directions really suck.

Anyhow, as nice as the ultrasound tech was during the whole process, she waited until almost the very end, when the sprout had decided they’d had enough and literally flipped over and tucked themselves up in a ball, to try and figure out if we could figure out the sex.

But, the sprout?

Totally listened to their mama.

After a few more minutes of the magical wand repositioning?

Spread. Freaking. Eagle.

I don’t really think you could ask for a clearer shot. The tech was all, “That’s pretty obvious. Wow. I mean, you don’t know for sure until they’re in your arms but I’d say we have some pretty great fetal porn here.”

The sprout was sitting on my placenta like it was a bean bag chair with their legs straight up in the air.

Perfection, sprout.

If you can’t tell what that is, then let me just say sprout is a…………………….BOY!!!!!!

And that (the thing that’s pointing into the black hole almost in the middle of the picture) is their little turtle.

Also? Tim finally gets some testosterone in the house!


24 Responses to “it’s a…!!!!!!!!!!”

  1. 1 JessSutera September 20, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    OMG what a riot – that picture is CLEAR as DAY. The little bugger just wanted to show off the goods to his mama, didn’t he?? LOVE IT!! Congrats girlfriend!!!

  2. 2 jobo September 20, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    aww!!!!! I am so happy for you!!!! What a great shot – lol, um, wow. And I practically had to pee just reading that! haha! aww! so great. that post made me smile 🙂

  3. 4 nysoonergirlnergirl September 20, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    Yay! Congrats!

    P.S. Did she really say “pretty great fetal porn”?!

  4. 5 Jeanette Lawrence Ghioto September 20, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    Congratulations!!! We have 9 boys here and 4 girls TESTOSTERONE so wins! so what is his name????

  5. 7 Cindy September 20, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    I guessed right! I guessed right! Thanks for posting the “boy pic” since I’ve never had the chance to see what the other gender looks like in utero. 🙂 Re: the peeing, I’m surprised she didn’t let you go some just to relieve your discomfort! But I agree, it’s pregnant lady torture to go through that. Luckily it’s also a rewarding test since said tortured pregnant lady gets to see her baby. 🙂 Wait until the gestational diabetes test- no reward in that one. Congratulations to both you and Tim- both on the boy thing as well as having the good fortune to find out SO VERY CLEARLY what gender the baby is. 🙂

  6. 8 TxtingmrDarcy September 20, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Awww, Congrats Momma Boosh! What a good little Sprout. I think you should remind him of this down the road when he refuses to clean his room…

    “When you were in the womb, I told you to flash your genitals and you DID. You can’t disobey me now.”

  7. 9 Amy September 20, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!! So happy!!

  8. 10 Jeanette Lawrence Ghioto September 20, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Math was never my gift 😦 sorry baby Vada
    Baby Bold’s maternal grandmother sure knows all about those baby boys – congrats all around.

  9. 11 PJ September 20, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    Congrats! And yay for Tim! I guess the trend of everyone I know having boys continues.

  10. 12 mm September 20, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Yay!! SO glad he cooperated and you were able to get a pretty definitive answer. 🙂 Congrats!!!

  11. 13 bloggingreluctantly September 20, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    Congrats!!!!! So excited for you 🙂

  12. 14 thebakerbee September 20, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    YAY!!! Congrats! Baby boys absolutely rock! Perfect picture, too… make sure you save that one for future girlfriends! And, on the peeing… I never had to pee more in my life either. And they didn’t take us early.

  13. 17 Angelia Sims September 20, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    Omg! What a story and look at him!!!! Wow! I bet he has a pretend remote in one hand and just scratched. Lol! Too cool! Congrats!!!!

  14. 18 Shannon September 20, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    OOOHHHMMMYYYYAAAAAYYY! This is so exiting! Time to buy blue!

  15. 20 thewaiting September 21, 2011 at 9:45 am

    I can only pray that we get as clear a picture when it comes time to find out the sex of ours! Congrats and also thanks for the tips on waking the baby up for ultrasounds. You saved me trip to the ol’ Google 🙂

  16. 21 melani rae September 21, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    That is the clearest scan picture I’ve ever seen. Damn. I just have to say though, that you kept using ‘their’ and ‘them’ so I was expecting to see two babies in there. Way to keep me in suspense!

  17. 22 Cara September 21, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    Your writing is so entertaining and clever! Loved the post, oh and, CONGRATS!!!

  18. 23 JULIA September 22, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he’s going to be awesome! he’s already hilarious!

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