(And I hate confessions because it
usually always means I’ve been doing something against the better judgement of those more informed than me annnnnd not telling anyone)
The last time I went to my OB, she kind of told me that unless I was absolutely obsessed with running (her words, not mine) that I should “probably cut back.”
My broken va-jay-jay.
Not that this is an excuse, but I really don’t think she completely understood me when I was trying to explain the pain I was feeling down there in the nether region because she automatically assumed it was round ligament pain…as did I.
Then further research on Dr. Google seems to point to something else entirely.
I know. It sounds like I’m totally making up a condition for myself.
However, I’m so not. It is a really common issue in pregnancy that, again, no one ever warned me about.
Seriously, if you’re pregnant or ever get pregnant, come talk to me. I’ll tell you the things no one else does because this is borderline ridiculous. It’s like a new surprise every single week. And they’re not usually the good kinds of surprises.
So, the pubis. Basically, along with everything else going on, there is this hormone called relaxin that makes your joints and ligaments extra…um…bendy and stretchy. Like Stretch Armstrong.
Did you know – and this phrase is now the running joke in the Bold household because it’s how I always start my sentences these days. Did you know that the baby is five inches now? Did you know that I’m not supposed to do twisty motions? Did you know… – anyhow, DID YOU KNOW that there is a a joint between your hip bones, surrounded by ligaments, that gets all Stretch Armstrong during pregnancy so when the time comes to, you know, push, your hips can separate easier to allow the baby to come out?
(I think I just threw up a little)
Well, THAT lovely side effect from the relaxin hormone has caused me to break my va-jay-jay, I think. And honestly? It is supposed to fix itself after the baby is out. Everything will go back to its normal, non-flexible status.
Sometimes, if you’re not smart, you can do permanent damage to this area and then have the symphisis pubis problem forever.
This pregnant chick does NOT want that.
So, the more I thought about where my broken va-jay-jay actually was, the more I was convinced it was this pubis problem. And it could just be round ligament pain or it could be a combination of both. I really have no idea.
What I do know for 100% certainty, though, is that running has become extremely challenging. In the beginning, during the latter half of my first trimester, I was in some kind of pain that has continued now throughout the second (so far) but it seems like the pain is happening sooner and sooner with shorter and shorter runs.
The pain is actually worse during the run…like…the whole run…not just at the end and not just afterwards.
This? Probably a red flag.
Before I even go another syllable farther, I want everyone to tell me how super fantastic I am right now because I’ve done something I have NEVER, EVER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE (editor’s note: that I am capable of remembering) done before.
Kind of. Technically.
Tim and I canceled our half marathon because honestly? I’m really not sure if I *can* actually do that kind of distance at this point. It’s not even because my belly is in the way…it’s just the pain after three miles…multiply that by ten more miles and I’d probably be bed ridden for a week, at least.
And I might break my symphsis pubis. This? Something I don’t really want to experience.
Side note: I’m slightly perturbed at the half marathon people for the moment. I called and explained the situation and though they said they wanted to work with me, the *best* they said they could do was give us free entry into the race next year.
Ummmmmmmm. First? The race was in Wyoming and we live in Colorado. Second? I won’t even be a year post-pregnancy when the race happens. Third? We have zero family within a thousand miles – literally – so where, exactly, does the baby go during the race? Do they offer babysitting services at the medical tent because…yah. That’s a small problem.
I guess I’ll have to go pregnancy postal on them, potentially. I have no idea. Suggestions on what I should do, here? I mean, we signed up for the race before I even knew I was pregnant...so it’s not like I could have foreseen this kind of situation.
Anyhow, where was I?
Right. Quitter. I’m quitting. And I am zero percent thrilled. I was really looking forward to this half marathon. I need to exercise. I must exercise. Daily. It’s like this anal monster that is beyond damaging to my psyche. I’m freaking out, here, y’all.
Mostly because I am *still* terrified of gaining a million pounds. It is truly a crippling fear that I, again, have zero control over. I know, it’s all supposed to happen and it’s all normal and it’s FOR THE SPROUT.
But why, sprout, do you require ten pounds of “maternal stores?” I swear I’ll feed you AND myself. No famine. No starvation. PLENTY OF SUSTENANCE.
(This is completely unrelated but our printer has this annoying habit of “resetting itself” after you print something and it makes all these annoying clicky noises for like, ten minutes, and it drives me bananas. And it’s doing it now. OMG. STOP!)
So, that’s where I stand right now with the running.
Insert super sadface.
I told Tim that we’re going to have to walk every. single. day. after work because I HAVE TO EXERCISE. And if he’s going to be late? So help him baby Jesus if he doesn’t tell me ahead of time so I can go walk or something by myself.
It’s like the exercise monster talking, here. It’s alive and thriving.
I’m definitely trying to do yoga. And I’m also trying to will up the courage to try a pre-natal water aerobics class at our gym. Anything to keep my back muscles strong so I don’t end up the Pregnant Hunchback.
(Geez. I really am paranoid)
It’s like my brain wants to do all of these things while my body is like, “Uh. Sorry. No can do.” And then it blasts me with broken va-jay-jay pain.
This is really not a fair game at all, body, because you always get what you want. Like a nap…ohhh…a nap! That sounds incredibly inviting right now…squishy pillows and a soft bed…mmmm….
See what I mean?
Why do I even fight you?
***FOUR DAYS UNTIL WE FIND OUT IF SPROUT’S A BOY OR GIRL!!!!! YAY!!!***
(I’m totally counting down)