pregnant running buzzkill


(And I hate confessions because it usually always means I’ve been doing something against the better judgement of those more informed than me annnnnd not telling anyone)

The last time I went to my OB, she kind of told me that unless I was absolutely obsessed with running (her words, not mine) that I should “probably cut back.”


My broken va-jay-jay.

Not that this is an excuse, but I really don’t think she completely understood me when I was trying to explain the pain I was feeling down there in the nether region because she automatically assumed it was round ligament pain…as did I.

At first.

Then further research on Dr. Google seems to point to something else entirely.

Symphsis pubis dysfunction.

I know. It sounds like I’m totally making up a condition for myself.

However, I’m so not. It is a really common issue in pregnancy that, again, no one ever warned me about.

Seriously, if you’re pregnant or ever get pregnant, come talk to me. I’ll tell you the things no one else does because this is borderline ridiculous. It’s like a new surprise every single week. And they’re not usually the good kinds of surprises.

So, the pubis. Basically, along with everything else going on, there is this hormone called relaxin that makes your  joints and ligaments extra…um…bendy and stretchy. Like Stretch Armstrong.

Did you know – and this phrase is now the running joke in the Bold household because it’s how I always start my sentences these days.  Did you know that the baby is five inches now? Did you know that I’m not supposed to do twisty motions?  Did you know… – anyhow, DID YOU KNOW that there is a a joint between your hip bones, surrounded by ligaments, that gets all Stretch Armstrong during pregnancy so when the time comes to, you know, push, your hips can separate easier to allow the baby to come out?

(I think I just threw up a little)

Well, THAT lovely side effect from the relaxin hormone has caused me to break my va-jay-jay, I think. And honestly? It is supposed to fix itself after the baby is out. Everything will go back to its normal, non-flexible status.


Sometimes, if you’re not smart, you can do permanent damage to this area and then have the symphisis pubis problem forever.

This pregnant chick does NOT want that.

So, the more I thought about where my broken va-jay-jay actually was, the more I was convinced it was this pubis problem. And it could just be round ligament pain or it could be a combination of both. I really have no idea.

What I do know for 100% certainty, though, is that running has become extremely challenging. In the beginning, during the latter half of my first trimester, I was in some kind of pain that has continued now throughout the second (so far) but it seems like the pain is happening sooner and sooner with shorter and shorter runs.

The pain is actually worse during the run…like…the whole run…not just at the end and not just afterwards.

This? Probably a red flag.

Before I even go another syllable farther, I want everyone to tell me how super fantastic I am right now because I’ve done something I have NEVER, EVER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE (editor’s note: that I am capable of remembering) done before.

I quit.

Kind of. Technically.

Tim and I canceled our half marathon because honestly? I’m really not sure if I *can* actually do that kind of distance at this point. It’s not even because my belly is in the way…it’s just the pain after three miles…multiply that by ten more miles and I’d probably be bed ridden for a week, at least.

And I might break my symphsis pubis.  This? Something I don’t really want to experience.

Side note: I’m slightly perturbed at the half marathon people for the moment. I called and explained the situation and though they said they wanted to work with me, the *best* they said they could do was give us free entry into the race next year.

Ummmmmmmm. First? The race was in Wyoming and we live in Colorado. Second? I won’t even be a year post-pregnancy when the race happens. Third? We have zero family within a thousand miles – literally – so where, exactly, does the baby go during the race? Do they offer babysitting services at the medical tent because…yah. That’s a small problem.

I guess I’ll have to go pregnancy postal on them, potentially. I have no idea. Suggestions on what I should do, here? I mean, we signed up for the race before I even knew I was it’s not like I could have foreseen this kind of situation.

*grumble grumble*

Anyhow, where was I?

Right. Quitter. I’m quitting. And I am zero percent thrilled. I was really looking forward to this half marathon. I need to exercise. I must exercise. Daily. It’s like this anal monster that is beyond damaging to my psyche. I’m freaking out, here, y’all.


Mostly because I am *still* terrified of gaining a million pounds. It is truly a crippling fear that I, again, have zero control over. I know, it’s all supposed to happen and it’s all normal and it’s FOR THE SPROUT.

But why, sprout, do you require ten pounds of “maternal stores?” I swear I’ll feed you AND myself. No famine. No starvation. PLENTY OF SUSTENANCE.

(This is completely unrelated but our printer has this annoying habit of “resetting itself” after you print something and it makes all these annoying clicky noises for like, ten minutes, and it drives me bananas. And it’s doing it now. OMG. STOP!)

So, that’s where I stand right now with the running.

Insert super sadface.

I told Tim that we’re going to have to walk every. single. day. after work because I HAVE TO EXERCISE. And if he’s going to be late? So help him baby Jesus if he doesn’t tell me ahead of time so I can go walk or something by myself.

It’s like the exercise monster talking, here. It’s alive and thriving.

I’m definitely trying to do yoga. And I’m also trying to will up the courage to try a pre-natal water aerobics class at our gym. Anything to keep my back muscles strong so I don’t end up the Pregnant Hunchback.

(Geez. I really am paranoid)

It’s like my brain wants to do all of these things while my body is like, “Uh. Sorry. No can do.” And then it blasts me with broken va-jay-jay pain.

This is really not a fair game at all, body, because you always get what you want. Like a nap…ohhh…a nap! That sounds incredibly inviting right now…squishy pillows and a soft bed…mmmm….

See what I mean?

Why do I even fight you?


(I’m totally counting down)

(Aren’t you?!)


18 Responses to “pregnant running buzzkill”

  1. 1 Cindy Suzette Fausel September 17, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Haaaaaaaa Jessica you are soooo funny. Bless your heart. I say continue to walk and start the water aerobic classes. Sprout would probably like going swimming. The water is warm and maybe he/she will be born a natural swimmer. Haaaaa. Don’t fret my dear it will allll work. Just do what is best for you and the little one. Heyyyy if you do enter next year I could come to Colorado and take care of allllll my ” kids” litle sprout included. Notttttt just kidding. HUgs n kisses to my furry friends and give my best to Tim.

  2. 3 bloggingreluctantly September 17, 2011 at 10:05 am

    My sister in law had this with both of her pregnancies. She was not sad to not be able to work out (at all!) but once she had the baby she felt great and it went away! I wish I loved to run, I don’t 🙂 Walking is fantastic and is my choice…and once I’m off a walking ban (for spotting after a 4 mile walk) I’ll be back out there! BTW can’t wait to hear what you are having. I vote BOY 🙂

    • 4 Jessica September 19, 2011 at 8:45 am

      I would probably break the rules if I couldn’t work out AT ALL. That’d be the end of me, for sure! 🙂 And yikes! Spotting is no good! Hopefully that stops soon so you can get out and enjoy the impending fall (yay!) weather!

      We’ll (hopefully) find out tomorrow!! SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!

  3. 5 thebakerbee September 17, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Sorry you can’t run anymores :(. On the plus side… I really enjoyed preggo yoga, especially near the end when I was like 500 pounds and could still touch my toes. People were totes impressed with that.

  4. 7 Shannon September 18, 2011 at 9:49 am

    So I went to my lady doctor the other day and we discussed me getting knocked up. She wants me to gain weight BEFORE I get knocked up and cut back on cardio when I do get prenant but I can stay with my yoga. I havent gained weight since high school so please tell me how to do that lady. When she said 35 lbs to gain while I’m pregnant I almost died. And where does that come from? I would die if I couldn’t work out too. Like, mental if I can’t stay healthy. Sorry bout the broken vajayjay. can’t wait to hear what is growing inside of you!!!:)

    • 8 Jessica September 19, 2011 at 8:48 am

      Um…eating = weight gain. At least, I think that’s how it works. Unless, of course, you are one of those lucky people who can eat whatever they want and not gain a pound (related: I hate you).

      From what I’ve read, *those* kind of people are told to eat a lot of high calorie type foods. Think whole milk (gross) and Ensure drinks and anything laden with calories…

      I’m in the 25-35 pound range (I think that’s for normal weight people)…and I’m freaking at 25 pounds. I don’t want to gain 25 pounds! And if I *have* to gain weight within that range, I guess I’ll have to try for the 25 and not a pound over!

  5. 9 Joann Eyster September 18, 2011 at 11:22 am

    OH MY GOODNESS! I am sooo sorry to laugh so hard at your problem, but I was the pregnant girl who ate everything in sight and didn’t think twice about gaining 75lbs. Exercise was, no is, a dirty word in my vocabulary and I only do it because now that I have lost and kept off 145lbs, I don’t ever want to see 324lbs staring back at me from the scale. I admire anyone who loves exercise to the point of being obsessed and really think that I would like to have that gene transplanted into me. I’m not getting it by osmosis being married to Mr. Exercise himself. It will all be worth it when you have that little one all snuggled in your arms!!

  6. 11 jobo September 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Well, if this were me, I would ALSO be freaking at the no running thing…but I also think you made exactly the right decision. I am really proud of you for canceling the race (NOT quitting, canceling!!). And walking is REALLY good, so part of this is a mindset change…walking IS working out, mmk? And not to be uber salesy or anything, but seriously, barre work is a great workout…check out some barre workouts at your gym or get some DVDs, because that shit works. Like whoa. And we always have pregnant chicks in class and there are always modifications. Just sayin 😉 And the terrified of gaining weight thing? Yeah, I’m with you on that too…and right now, just focus on being healthy and allowing it to happen…because you are growing a beautiful little baby in there!!! XOXO (and I am hoping GIRL GIRL GIRL!!)

    • 12 Jessica September 19, 2011 at 8:51 am

      Canceling. That’s a much nicer word. Thank you for being so supportive!! 🙂 XO

      My gym has a barre class on Fridays that I went to religiously…then stopped for half marathon training and…now, well. No excuse? I guess I’d have to tell the instructor that I’m preggo so she can alter the ab work that’s done there…hm…

      Can’t wait for tomorrow!!

      • 13 JessSutera September 19, 2011 at 4:02 pm

        piling on since I totally agree with my sis on this one (duh). you are NOT a quitter – you’re simply postponing your half until y’know, you’re no longer carrying sprout around with you. You’re still a runner, you’re still fit, you’re still awesome. Don’t forget it, mmk?

  7. 14 Wildology September 19, 2011 at 9:37 am

    You are doing the right thing, even though it sucks. …and seriosuly, if you only have 10 extra pounds to lose, it will be a cake (cakeless) walk:)

    I will try the milk-o-mag trick. I had steak last night and now have a steak-like rock in my intestines. 🙂

  8. 15 Jessica September 19, 2011 at 10:05 am

    But…I love cake!!

    Let me know how it works! Steak rocks SUCK.

  9. 16 thoughtsappear September 19, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    I’m afraid, so very afraid of getting pregnant now.

    But I’m excited to find out if the baby’s a girl or a boy.

  10. 17 Sam September 19, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    “Second? I won’t even be a year post-pregnancy when the race happens.”

    If it’s any consolation/inspiration, my wife did a triathlon 10 weeks after having our first daughter. It was only a little one (500m swim, 10K ride, 5K run), and she didn’t come first or anything, but she did it nonetheless (and didn’t come last) 🙂 She is a legend (who also set relief lessons for her classes while actually in labour, but that’s another story).

  11. 18 Angelia Sims September 20, 2011 at 11:43 am

    Listen here, I totally had a woman with baby in a jogger stroller PASS ME LIKE I WAS STANDING STILL towards the end of my half-marathon in OKC. So there is your answer…baby goes with…..totally do-able.

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