this is not exactly the honeymoon phase i was promised

I’m not really sure if this is some kind of funny game the Sprout likes to play or if it’s just Mother Nature’s way of reminding me that, “Yes. You’re actually pregnant” but come on! I thought the second trimester was supposed to be the honeymoon phase of this whole process? The one where I got TWELVE WHOLE WEEKS of feeling fantastic with toddler levels of energy and an appetite the size of an emaciated hippopotamus.

Now, I’m no expert, this being my first ride on the pregnancy merry-go-round, but I’m pretty certain I’m actually *in* the second trimester…seventeen weeks into this science experiment and all…and I STILL have days, like today, where it’s like I’ve been booked a one-way ticket back to the first trimester where life is miserable and I walk around all day feeling like I’m going to vomit. Though I never do, which makes it that much worse because, instead, I have that feeling where if you could HURL – just once – with one of those violent, stomach emptying, snot flying from your nose episodes, you’d feel somuchbetter.

Nooooooooo. Not me. I’m one of those lucky women who stumble around the day feeling nauseous and disgusting, wishing The Puke would happen, yet knowing it never will.

Welcome to my second trimester. Come join me on this rockin’ party boat.

(Somehow that just turned into a pun…)

I have plenty of days where I feel FAN-TAS-TIC.  Then, out of nowhere, the pukey returns. The best part? There are no cues to this onslaught. It’s not like I feel like I’m coming down with something. I’ll go to bed after one of those FAN-TAS-TIC days, thinking everything is all honkey dorey, then wake up however many hours later and BLAM!


I never know when it’s going to happen.

There is no warning.

And all of those things “the pregnancy people” tell you to do?  They don’t really work. For me.

Eat frequent meals? The more I eat, the worse I feel.

Drink lots of fluids. Side effect? See above.

Sleep. This…I can do. But the funny little caveat is that I feel worse when I wake up.

Sit around and feel miserable and whine to your husband that life is absolutely terrible and he should do everything in his power to make it go away. This actually isn’t in any pregnancy “how to” manual, but it works really well, especially if you want something.

And by “wanting something” I mean ANY FOOD ON GOD’S GOOD, GREEN EARTH that you feel like you can stomach without sending yourself in a dizzying, downward spiral of nausea.

This food? It changes by the hour, usually, and always by the day. Don’t even bother grocery shopping because you’ll never be able to guess what it is you’ll want to eat. You’ll spend hours looking through pregnancy forums to read about what other knocked up women are eating just to see if anything looks even remotely appetizing.

Case in point to skip the grocery shopping: My particular “foods” during the first trimester? Refried beans with a very specific kind of cheddar cheese that Tim had to tear apart the grocery store to find, potato soup, plain potato chips, a burrito (from a place I still have zero desire to ever eat from again after having that burrito), macaroni and cheese, toast with butter and strawberry jam, Taco Bell, chicken flavored ramen noodles, saltine crackers, lemonade flavored juice popsicles, spaghettios WITH meatballs, frosted mini-wheats, a sausage biscuit with grape jelly, hamburger helper…and pretty much anything else I haven’t eaten since I was five.

The pregnancy fairy has been nice enough in the second trimester to allow me to have less food aversions so I can eat almost anything if I’m hungry, even if I don’t really feel like eating it.


During the worst of times?

There was no way anyone was bringing anything I didn’t want to eat within fifty feet of me, so help you baby Jesus.

I’m still waiting for that magical time to come when I’m SO HUNGRY I could literally eat your face off if it looked appetizing enough and we were stuck on a deserted island.

When is that part?

That part sounds like a lot more fun than food aversions and pukey.

Tim says my appetite *is* changing because now I actually eat something for breakfast and when we go running I am literally dying of starvation midway through – and I never used to get hungry running unless it was a really long run, like anything over 16 miles.  I also feel hungry when I go to bed at night, which is weird, though I’ve never actually gotten up to make myself a sandwich at 2:00 in the morning.

I feel like that’s a little pushy and inconsiderate of my body to expect me to get out of my nice, warm bed to traverse through the dark, dangerous hallways just for food.

I mean, I’m already up every two hours to pee, so really, pregnant me.

Give yourself a break.

***PSA: if you’re feeling nosey, remember I’ll answer those burning questions next Monday! Just leave a comment here or send me an email***


11 Responses to “this is not exactly the honeymoon phase i was promised”

  1. 1 Nona Kempton Nelson September 10, 2011 at 9:52 am

    You could always put a snack on the night stand so you don’t have to get out of bed to get food.

    That is a terrible suggestion. Don’t listen to me.

  2. 3 Cindy Suzette Fausel September 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Well, Now I am feeling pukey sine I read this blog after eating lunch. Haaaaa Just kidding. Hope you round the corner soon and start enjoying being pregnant instead of feeling bad. The poor furry kids I am sure they have NO clue what is going on but I am sure they love napping with you.

  3. 5 Angelia Sims September 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Awww, yuk! I hate that sick part of pregnancy. I remember my most favorite drink in the whole wide world, Diet Dr Pepper – my only beverage of choice since 8th grade – made me ill while I was pregnant. Ugh! I couldn’t stand it. Honestly? Even now, 18 years later, I can barely drink it. SO WEIRD. The only thing that kept the pukies at bay for me was soda crackers. Lots of crackers.

    • 6 Jessica September 12, 2011 at 9:24 am

      Crackers = miracle food. Until I got sick of those…which was weird. I have a feeling I may feel the same way about carrot ginger soup as you do diet dr. pepper. Just the thought, still, makes me want to hurl.

  4. 7 thebakerbee September 10, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    Sorry you still feel yucky. Sucks 😦

  5. 9 Joann Eyster September 11, 2011 at 9:10 am

    With my first pregnancy that lasted past the first trimester, I was sick every single day from the day I found out I was pregnant. I worked with this horribly, mean, doctor who thought it was funny, after he was told the effect his cologne had on me, to come and stand outside my office door in the morning. I would have to push past him and run to the bathroom to throw up. I should have hurled on his expensive Italian leather shoes. I put in for a transfer at the end of my 2nd trimester. I couldn’t take it anymore. My second pregnancy was just two weeks of all day nausea and then bam, it was all done and I was fine. I pray you get some relief soon!

  6. 11 jobo September 13, 2011 at 11:50 am

    UGH! That sounds awful. I hope those waves of yuckiness are fewer and farther in between now!!

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