*updated* who i used to be

Update: Well…I haven’t had a chance to rummage around in my basketball stuff because we’ve spent the last few hours at the emergency vet.  Please think good thoughts for Maddie – as she’s extremely uncomfortable right now. Something happened while we were gone and the extent of the damage is actually too graphic to post outright. I’ve attached a link to it here if you’d like to regurgitate whatever you just finished eating. The vet *thinks* it may be the result of poison ivy…but we don’t know…since we just picked her up yesterday after our trip. I’m fairly shaken up by the whole thing…and extremely upset – especially since Maddie’s still being Maddie: wagging her tail and giving us that goofy, Golden Retreiever smile.

My life now?

Nothing of what my life was…and every year around this time…when Duke basketball is on…I am reminded of my old life.

We will forever be a Duke household…Tim bleeds blue and thinks Coach K is totally awesome.

Me: So….what’ll I happen if our future child loves UNC, Duke’s nemesis?

Tim: They won’t.

And that was pretty much the end of that conversation.

I miss my basketball life…the one where every weekend was full of games or 3-hour practices or traveling somewhere…the tournaments and the competition and the way my body ached after a really rough game.

It was all I knew.

The first October after I graduated college, I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I wasn’t playing basketball…and after over a decade of the same routine…your body gets kind of pissed at you when you change it up all, “the hell, self?”

Hence my infatuation with running and races…long ass races.

I watched that “Where are they now” special on the Biggest Loser contestants…TWO have done an Ironman.

I looked at Tim all, “If THEY can do that…so can I.”

2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and a full marathon (26.2 miles).

Hell. Yes.

It’s the months of work and pain and then finally, the reward at the end.

Total Euphoria.

I don’t know how to relate this feeling to someone who never participated in sports or someone who doesn’t have a competitive spirit or someone who doesn’t like sweat…

I am competitive to a fault and I’m totally not afraid of dirt or water.

Everything is a race or a contest to see who can do *it* better.

*It* can be anything from putting the groceries away to racing to the car from a restaurant to finding the last item that is my size in a store.

And inevitably, Tim will be all, “Seriously? Now?”

Yes, dear sweet husband. Now. Get your ass in gear.

So, if you’re a basketball fan, remember me…especially during March Madness…where all  I want to do is find a basketball court and knock somebody senseless with my elbows.

And for those who are curious…my stats. I actually played for serious…none of that rec league bullshit where the biggest thing on the court and egos (Can you tell I really…really don’t like rec leagues?).

(I hate this part…though I am determined to put all of the newspaper articles and awards and related paraphernalia into a trophy case one day…)

I’m just going to list the college numbers…suffice it to say that during my high school career I was a 4-year Varsity team starter.

(also keep in mind I graduated college in 3 years)

(and I actually do have proof…though the proof would give other things away, like my secret identity. So the proof will have to be a culmination of all such awards that are currently shoved in the attic somewhere…I will post an update after I find my way back from the trek into said attic)

In college I…

And this is kind of long and boring and you don’t HAVE to read it.

You can actually stop.

Right now.

And for those that couldn’t help themselves and kept reading…In college I…

Grabbed over 500+ rebounds

Scored 1000+ points.

(I actually have 2 special basketballs listing the above milestones)

Team MVP – all 3 years (1 year was even team-voted…and I didn’t even vote for myself…because I’m awesome)

2-time All-American

1st Team All-Conference – all 3 years

Freshman Conference Player of the Year

Player of the week for the Conference and Division….more times than I can remember…(I sound like such a cocky bitch…but that’s not how I mean it…though it totally comes across that way…)

All-Tournament Team…for lots of tournaments…again, I don’t remember all of them. One I got this really cool star-shaped trophy like, 3 weeks after we got home from the tournament. The coach pulled me aside after practice one day and gave it to me all, “Umm. Here. Congrats?”

Currently hold school records for: Most points in a single game (42), most points in a season, most rebounds in a season, career points, career rebounds, field goals made and attempted…

You get the point, right?

I guess I was good or something.

So I can stop now?

Do I regret not continuing to play? No.

Maybe at one point I did…but I don’t now.

I think I’ve finally accepted that basketball was a chapter to be opened, enjoyed and then closed.

Plus, I wouldn’t be where I am today and you wouldn’t have daily entertainment to read had I continued on that path.

So technically, if you think about it, I was really doing all of this for you…because I’m nice and totally selfless that way.

You’re welcome.

Now, where’s my damn award?

(I have this overwhelming urge to go through all my basketball stuff now…updates to come shortly…because how could I not share those embarrassing “hold the basketball on your hip and smile” pictures with you? Exactly.)


27 Responses to “*updated* who i used to be”

  1. 1 Spot November 29, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    It’s funny when we look back at who we used to be and who we are now. I think it’s impossible not to miss that person, even though I know I’m a much better person now…that bitch was a go-getter!

    And I never did team sports, but I did do drama festivals and competitions and I was the queen of that junk baby! I think acting and speech giving are just as competitive and without the sweat thank you very much!

    I can’t wait to see the basketball booshy pics!


    • 2 Jessica November 30, 2009 at 8:42 am

      ***Maddie Update***
      Thank you for all the well wishes for Maddie! She’s still fairly uncomfortable but the meds are definitely working…as all of the open sores are starting to dry out. She goes back to the vet in a few days so they can check her out. For now, she’s stuck in “the cone” and sleeps A LOT thanks to the meds + benadryl. We made an exception last night and allowed her on the bed to sleep. I stayed with her in the guest bedroom along with Gracie (the cat), who is apparently very concerned. She slept curled right up to Maddie all night.

      Spot: I should have included drama…I forgot about you people 🙂 – you all take that stuff seriously. WOW. It’s awesome.

      shutterboo: Dribbling…definitely an art. I had my fair share of traveling calls when I first started…and I had no idea how to do a layup…that was embarrassing…Your friend did one? I’m impressed! I have no idea how to train for one…it just looks like the most painful event on the planet, which to me = fun. Because I’m weird.

      kkktookmybabyaway: I did. But I didn’t use it. And you have a point – rejection can have a way of motivating the hell out of a person.

      Tiffany Chua: Future Child is TBD. It’s actually the million dollar question right now amongst the family…

      franzi: I’ve considered coaching 🙂 and you’re right about time away from Tim and booshy…I just don’t know if I could *do* that to you…:)

      firecracker: Horses! I wanted to ride so badly as a child. I even started taking lessons but it just never went anywhere…as for finding myself *after* basketball – I’m pretty sure I’m still trying to find myself period. Every day my eyes are opened to something new or I see things in a different light…it’s kind of strange.

      mark p: So funny you mention that…yes. I can beat Tim. He says I cheat because I box the hell out of his abdomen…but I say it’s all fair play. As for the drinking competition – I’d probably lose. Give me one and I’m a *happy* girl for the rest of the night. Sad. I know.

      fattiefatterton: I think I need you. As my vocal coach.

      Bethany and LB: I will…I am 🙂

      peedee: You were rockin’ the Varsity and college sports! Wow! I’m super impressed! As for Maddie – I’ll certainly keep everyone posted.

      Cyndi: Your mom? Really?! That’s kind of crazy…she must have been incredible. As for your kids – don’t worry. Be happy they enjoy them…it’s a great outlet for all kinds of things like energy…stress…being angry for no reason….hormones…. 🙂

      Shannon: Thank you! I hope so, too.

      ToadMamma: First, thank you! Second: Believe me. I am none too pleased with Maddie’s “condition.” Tim and I can only guess at what happened, since we weren’t home. Suffice it to say the lack of care has my insides steaming.

      Angelia: You like Duke and you live in TEXAS? How on earth have you not been thrown out?

      Stephanie: Yay! Are you done, yet? The last time I checked you were SO CLOSE.

      discordanteris: We still play…sometimes. Right now, marathon training has taken over, though.

      crazy in the making: I secretly always wanted to be a cheerleader….*sigh*

  2. 3 shutterboo November 29, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    I am not athletic. But I do commend those that are able to do athletic things. Especially soccer players – I mean, 90 minutes of playing, are you kidding me? And basketball players – I know you don’t like “rec teams” but I played intramural b-ball in college and died – literally DIED – on the court. I’m not an athlete and I think our intramural coach discovered this as I continued to forget to dribble the ball.
    If you do an Iron Man, power to ya. It is quite the challenge building your stamina and getting your diet in a fashion so that you’re body will keep going. But the reward is great. Even if I did just only cheer my friend on the sidelines.

  3. 4 kkktookmybabyaway November 29, 2009 at 12:23 pm


    Question: If you graduated in 3 years, wouldn’t you have had another year of eligibility?

    Tried out for the high-school b-ball team in 10th grade. Had a fever that week and that’s the excuse I gave for quitting mid-week. I was terrible to be sure, but I could play defense and had no problem boxing out people bigger/better than me so other people could clean up the glass. I still use the “you going to quit like in high school?” memories to motivate me now in certain things with my life, so in the end I think quitting have been a good thing.

  4. 5 Tiffany Chua November 29, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    So when will this future child come?

  5. 6 lifestartsnow November 29, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    that’s a LOT of basketball, you sure you don’t miss it?

    maybe you could coach or something to get back at least some b-flair. you know, channel the competitiveness that way.

    iron man (wait, is the women’s competition called iron woman?) sounds like a lot of training and no time for writing (or for tim)


  6. 7 firecracker November 29, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    horses were my thing, but after 15 years of that being the be all end all of my life, i finally put my saddle away. it was the hardest thing i’ve ever done, but totally necessary. it’s not forever, but i can’t do it half-ass – i have to do it 100% or 0%.

    it’s kind of cool to figure out who i am without horses. for so long that’s how i identified myself and how others saw me – the girl who rode.

    is that the way it is for you? are you trying to figure out yourself as the person without basketball? or has that role in your life just shifted?

  7. 8 mark price November 29, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    In high school I was voted most likely to get a concussion from diving into an empty swimming pool drunk. Not really, I think. But sports are good too! You simply must reveal your secret identity sometime Peter Parker. I jest. Knowing very little about basketball (I know, don’t tell anyone from KU) (Go Jayhawks) I think those are pretty impressive stats. So, you could totally take Tim out in a 1 on 1 I bet. LOL. My sister has done a couple of half triathalons. She is all sporty like that. Maybe you could find one near you. They do them everywhere. If you ever need a beer drinking trainer call me. I can totally help you win that competition!

  8. 9 fattiefatterton November 29, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    Awww, poor Maddie!! Keep us posted!

    I think we all have that *thing* in our lives that was our whole identity and then it’s over. Mine was singing – I have my Bachelors in Vocal Performance. But when it ended for me for good (I was 28), it was like a second coming of age. Who am I now? What is my focus now?

  9. 10 Bethany November 29, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Poor Maddie!!!

    Keep us posted. Poor thing!

  10. 11 Peedee November 29, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    OMG OMG OMG!! Poor puppy Maddie!! (every dog no matter how old is a puppy to me).
    The older I get the worse I’m seeming to become when it comes to animal (especially) dogs injuries. I want to come kiss and hug her. ='(. I would totally sit up with her all night and put calamine lotion on her with a cottonball. Poor baby. Give her kisses from me please.
    Please please let us know how shes doing.

  11. 12 LB @Wait, She Said What? November 29, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    Poor Maddie!! Wow, that looks very uncomfortable to say the least.

    Lots of good thoughts for Maddie!

  12. 13 Peedee November 29, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    See! I was so concerned with Maddie I totally forgot to give you Kudos for your awesome atleticism! I too (was) an athlete. 12 Varsity letters in high school and went to College on a Softball scholorship. =). I totally understand what your thinking/feeling. It NEVER goes away.
    I also raised an athlete that was pure joy to watch compete. She was one of those “natural” athletes too. Great (not just good) at everything she played.
    Just wait till baby Booshy comes along. Your gonna love watching him/her play sports.

  13. 14 Cyndi November 29, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Poor puppy! I hope she feels better soon!

    My mom is an athlete that way with swimming. Rumors were that she was training for the Olympics – 500 breaststroke – when she got knocked up with me… and I was totally not what an athlete expects. LOL (Captain of the Academic Team, hell yeah! Math Team, too.) She told me that if it weren’t for Dad, she wouldn’t have made it through raising us.

    My kids are all little power-houses and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I get the paperwork to sign them up for sports and panic!

  14. 15 Shannon November 29, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about Maddie. Hope she feels better soon!

  15. 16 ToadMama November 29, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    Yep, you were definitely a PLAYER. And you have every right to be proud. Now, what’s going on with Maddie? That happened in just a few days? Yikes.

  16. 17 Angelia Sims November 29, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    You are crazy cool with that basketball!! Awesome lady! I love Duke too and March madness.

    That Maddie girl, oh my heart, poor baby. Give her extra TLC from me.

  17. 18 Stephanie November 29, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    OMG! Congrats on achieving victory! You showed NaNoWriMo who was boss! 😀

    I’m almost done!

  18. 19 discordanteris November 30, 2009 at 4:33 am

    Oh just don’t bother. If it’s a game you loved, it’s something you must pursue – during those few moments you aren’t blogging. 🙂

  19. 20 crazy in the making November 30, 2009 at 8:18 am

    Yah for you! Those stats are pretty impressive. (spoken as a former cheerleader with pom poms waving).

    Poor Maddie! Where was the sweet baby that she could get into poison oak or whatever caused that while you were gone? Can we come over and help you comfort and take care of her?

    Okay, how about just sending hugs and love for her and patience and hugs for you as you take care of you.

  20. 21 Spot November 30, 2009 at 11:01 am

    Poor Maddie!!! Definately thinking good thoughts for her…


  21. 22 mepsipax November 30, 2009 at 11:19 am

    I miss playing ball. I was never good so there is at least that. I see that you did nano. It was such hell last year but I had someone to compete with, which helped.

  22. 23 Stephanie November 30, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Yup. Hit 50K last night but my story’s all over the place. I still have a long way to go to get a resolution. But VICTORY! 😀

  23. 24 Theresa November 30, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Thinking good thoughts for poor Maddie! Poor baby. Glad she’s sleeping so much so she doesn’t have to feel that discomfort.

    Way to go with BBall. I HATE sports – mostly because I’m terrible at them. I have no hand-eye coordination and every time I even pick up a basketball I jam a finger – no lie. Of course, this is why I am a little chubbier than the average mother of three. Nonetheless, you and Tim have inspired me to start running. I signed up for a 10K to be run in a few months. Thanks for the motivation. I’m going to try to learn to love sweat and I’ll take any advice you can offer.

  24. 25 Mindy@thesuburbanlife November 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Jessica – You’re a better woman than I…I would have TOTALLY voted for myself. =)

  25. 26 morethananelectrician November 30, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    I guess the tough thing about the Ironman…woman…er IronPerson, is that small injuries can impact training so much. And there are so few events around that is a pretty big financial investment. Simple Marathons are enough for me now…and I coach kids all year…it has really helped quell my competitive spirit.

  26. 27 gcotharn December 1, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    I enjoyed the photos, and this post. Thanks for sharing. I used to be super competitive, also. Now, in middle age, I’ve a slightly different perspective. But, I can relate. Except I never grabbed all those rebounds, et al. 🙂

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