snippets of conversation from thanksgiving #1

Before I begin the chaos that is 6 people vying for the same tiny soap box, here are a few pictures from the weekend…Thanksgiving #1

What's important here? The turkey. It's the only thing *kind of* in focus. Ummm thanks, mom.

Troy's drink. Troy who is 13. It's tea. Swear. I wouldn't lie in front of the Pilgrim.

Now…the conversations…they’re always disjointed and very confusing. You’re welcome.

(cue me almost dropping a massive, opened can of yams all over the floor)

Mom: You are such a klutz, Jessica. Things never change…

Me: What?! I’m not clumsy.

Tim: You mean, she’s always been this uncoordinated?

Mom: Everywhere except the basketball court…

*****************

(for some reason, my 3 brothers think that “mom” is theirs…and apparently I no longer count in the sibling category, so they’ll be all, “MY MOM said…”)

Troy: My mom keeps having to have Come and Find Jesus meetings with me.

(he meant to say “come to Jesus” meetings)

Tim: Well, I mean, wow. Have you found him yet? Cause it seems like you’ve been having a lot of those meetings lately…

*****************

Me: So, do you guys still play the trivia?

Jeff, Mom, Mason and Troy: THE what?!

Me, perplexed: The trivia?…Do you still go and play?

Tim, laughing hysterically: THE trivia? Who are you? Yoda?

(what the hell is wrong with saying THE trivia?)

*****************

(cue heated basketball competition on the Wii. I was totally winning.)

Me: I am AWESOME. And I’ve never even played this before.

Mom: You aren’t awesome. You’re yelling “MISS IT!” every time someone tries to shoot the basketball. It’s no wonder you’re winning…

Me: That’s not allowed?

*****************

(I’ve been trying to explain to Tim that it’s not that I’m pissy in the morning…I don’t talk to him because I’m trying to avoid a stupid fight over who forgot to pull out my favorite warm, fuzzy socks or who looked at me funny for 2.3 seconds longer than they should have.)

Me: Mom! Tell Tim we never talked in the morning.

Mom: We didn’t talk in the morning.

Me: No, I mean…that when we woke up we didn’t talk so we didn’t fight.

Mom: We didn’t talk so we didn’t fight…

Me: You’re totally not helping.

*****************

Y’all – Tim and I are for serious probably somewhere over the East Coast – right. this. second. – so if you’re anywhere between Georgia and New York – wave! You can probably see our asses if you squint really hard.

We’re on the way to Thanksgiving #2 AND Turkey Trot #2.

Oh, yes. We found one. And we’re running it.

They give away pottery as prizes if you win.

Not that I plan on winning, but you know how much I love pottery.

We really just have to redeem ourselves.

I’ll shit skittles if we fuck it up and go the wrong direction twice in 7 days.

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15 Responses to “snippets of conversation from thanksgiving #1”


  1. 1 Era November 24, 2009 at 9:37 am

    family dynamics are always interesting aren’t they? I also like pottery. Good luck with the turkey trot – I’ll pass on the skittles πŸ˜‰

  2. 2 peedee November 24, 2009 at 10:15 am

    I dont talk in the morning either. Never have. I just want my coffee and ciggy and leave.me.the.fuck.alone.

    Its not that I’m angry, I just dont have anything nice to say soooooooo just leave it be. And I created a monster….my kid doesnt like to speak in the morning either. =D

    Even the people at work know NOT to speak to me before 10am.

    Does this make me a bitch?!? (you dont have to answer that)

  3. 3 Bethany November 24, 2009 at 10:53 am

    I waved…:)

    Have a good Thanksgiving!

  4. 4 middle-aged-woman November 24, 2009 at 11:06 am

    I might be willing to provide a pottery prize if you’d take a picture of what shat skittles looks like.

  5. 5 eatingmachine November 24, 2009 at 11:09 am

    doesn’t everyone know to leave the non morning people alone?
    we’re half and half in my fam (i wake up way too freakin early, as does one of my brothesr. the other two will sleep till mid afternoon if you let them)
    and you learn not to bug them in the morning. or else someone is going to throw something at your head. duh.

  6. 6 mark price November 24, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Good luck in the 2nd Turkey Trot. Is it against the rules to like ask for a map? Or maybe take a small GPS unit along? Just sayin, with a prize of pottery at stake it’s that much more important to get it right this time. LOL Hope you guy’s win! send pics!

  7. 7 carissajade November 24, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Have a great thanksgiving #2! Your first one sounds like a blast.. and good luck with the turkey trot!!

  8. 8 Kid Icarus November 24, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Dude, I love that you have a photo of the Turkey with the little “pop-out” still in it. LOL – awesome.

  9. 9 Spot November 24, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    I didn’t even know Jesus was lost. Shouldn’t someone organize a search party or something?!

    My sister and I only say “your mom” or “your parents” as in, are driving me crazy.

    Good luck on the whole running thing. I mean, I might run for pottery. =]

    ♥Spot

  10. 10 lifestartsnow November 24, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    no talk if you can’t stand the answer πŸ˜‰

    safe travels for your turkey trip #2

    franzi

  11. 11 Angelia November 24, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    NO talking in the morning! Nope, not allowed. πŸ™‚

    As for the Turkey Trot, being that you are actually trotting ON Turkey day, tells me it’s not some lame route without markings. Cause it’s REALLY a Turkey Trot! Just sayin’ (you’re welcome)

    Can’t wait to see the pottery bling.

  12. 12 mepsipax November 24, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    You are totally allowed to yell miss while playing. Hell, if they piss you off enough you are allowed to slap the controller out of their hand and yell “Booyah bitch don’t bring that baby shit into my house. You totally got stuffed”.
    Then never do holidays again.

  13. 13 Amy November 25, 2009 at 8:51 am

    My husband and I carpool and it’s a long silent drive to his work. We don’t talk in the mornings, either. We’ve found it’s just better that way. I’m convinced 90% of divorces are decided upon between the hours of 6 and 8AM.

    Ok, the conversation over the Wii. Hysterical.

    Happy Thanksgiving #2 and Happy Thanksgiving in general!!

  14. 14 submom November 25, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    That turkey is perfectly golden! Kudos to mom (I mean, not yours, but your brothers’. LOL)! Happy Thanksgiving!

  15. 15 Em November 25, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    I = not a morning person. The City Boy = wakes up with a list of conversation topics ready to be addressed. And with a smile on his face. God love him, but it drives me crazy!! He is all, “c’mon Honey. Time to get up” and I squint my eyes, glare at him and say, “NO!” and then promptly lay back down. He’s learned to leave me alone while I’m still in bed, but once I get up he POUNCES on me with all the talking … and the discussing. I usually just stare at him and try to look awake. Never participating though. I look forward to a little more quiet in the mornings.


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