what if i just quit?

Let’s play a game.  How many blogs are there in the entire universe?

Ok, nevermind.  That’s the start of a really bad idea. I just realized that game requires math.

So, let me instead go a direction I can usually manage, on a good day when there are exactly 15 birds chirping and 35.2 ants crawling on the patio and Mozart is playing the background.

Come into my little world for a few minutes.

(which, is actually really boring…and this is probably part of my problem)

I write in this blog every single day…and I suck?

I wonder if I should keep going…and then I tell myself I have to…I’m quitting if I stop.

That statement usually leads to my asking WHY it’s considered quitting when I set my own, self-imposed deadlines.  I mean, there’s no one around to be all, “THE HELL? WRITE, WOMAN!”

I still don’t have an answer to that…other than I just flat-out refuse to quit.  I mean, when blog life is all happy and cheery and glittery winged kittens, of course I want to keep going.

But when blog life is in the toilet?  Well, that’s just no fun.  I don’t particularly enjoy swimming amongst the floaters.  Just sayin.

I can’t even blame this on the mixing of random medications, unless you count vitamins, fish oil and airborne.

Exactly. Totally lame.

Whoever said a blog was a popularity contest: You win a fucking gold star.

Whatever *the answer* is, I haven’t found it.

But I kind of need it, I think.

That and a rousing pep talk.

For my sanity.

(I pretty sure my little rant just cost me 5 readers. Which probably brings me down to like, 4, who I’ll probably scare off by saying fuck)

(Dammit! I totally didn’t *mean* to say fuck…outloud)

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52 Responses to “what if i just quit?”


  1. 1 mommasunshine November 18, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Just try to remember why you started blogging in the first place…and keep that close to you at all times. As for those negative thoughts that keep swirling around in your head, fuck it. Do what YOU feel is right. 😉

  2. 2 middle-aged-woman November 18, 2009 at 10:52 am

    FUCK! You can’t quit, I just freaking GOT here. This is totally a way to think out loud, and if it sucks occasionally? So what? SO far as I can tell, you haven’t hit suckiness at all. This is a connection, and it’s a good connection to have. Who else will talk you off the ledge? Tim would just roll his eyes, right?

    We love you, Jessica. If you quit, I will hunt you down and spank your ass.

  3. 3 maureenlynn November 18, 2009 at 11:24 am

    I’m in a bit of a blogging rut myself. It seems as though when I’m too busy to write I have lots I could write about and when I have time, I’ve got nothing. So I will write the stupid crap for now and hope things will get better soon.

    I don’t think you’ve written anything not worth reading, and I’m kinda picky when it comes to what I’m willing to spend my time on. It’s always a welcome break from the blogs that are all about babies babies babies (no offense to the baby blogs out there, just sayin 🙂

  4. 4 A Vapid Blonde November 18, 2009 at 11:30 am

    FUCK! There, I am right there with you!!!! I get all squishy in side when I go to my stat page and click refresh and istead of 4 people staying for 10S there are 15 people staying for 10S who came across my blog because they were at a catholic school in canada searching bald kitties…Whooooo hoooo!

  5. 5 nysoonergirl November 18, 2009 at 11:43 am

    I’m still here! Even if I don’t comment. And I’m more likely to stick around if you say fuck. In fact, and I know you hate math, but the number of times you say fuck in a post is directly proportionate to how likely I am to stick around.

  6. 6 Sarah November 18, 2009 at 11:50 am

    Just remember that the vast majority of your readers don’t comment, so don’t stop just because we get too lazy to open the comment box (or maybe we plan on commenting after work and then completely forget and then the next day you have another post and we do the same thing, rinse, repeat).
    And saying fuck…or typing it…will never scare me away :).
    I remember one blog I read that by the end of the first paragraph I had a million things to say, and then by the end of the post they had wrapped it up so nicely that I was like…damn, I have nothing to add.
    Hope your bloggy day improves :).

  7. 7 Angelia November 18, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    Jessica, THE HELL?

    I have no doubt your blog stats are off the charts. AND you have some very loyal readers <———- Mkay? Now eat some CHOCOLATE, you sound deprived. You know better than missing your daily ration.

  8. 8 carissajaded November 18, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    I contemplated quitting the other day, and got all woa’s me and “noone will even care…” But someone above me said it… I really am blogging for myself. I shouldn’t care about who is reading or commenting.. but I still do. So.. I feel ya! And I’m here! I don’t always comment, but I read!

  9. 9 Stephanie November 18, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Hey now, hold on a minute and don’t do anything rash! Do you want know how much I enjoy your blog? During this NaNoWriMo MADNESS yours is one of two or three out of my 20ish subscriptions that I’m still taking time to read everyday.

    Does that help? No?

    K, Begging time: DON’T GOOOO!!! PLEASE DOOOON’T GOOOO!! WE’D MIIIISS YOU AND HAVE TO ACTUALLY GO DO WOOOORRRKKK! 😦

  10. 10 Amy November 18, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    I started blogging for me just to get shit out because I keep everything bottled up. Some of it is funny, I’m finding most of it isn’t. Maybe once I get all the crap out the funny will come through. My life is not interesting. It is not glamorous. It’s not filled with one adventure or amusing antedote after another. It’s dull and regular and normal and I love it. So I write about it. Some people have decided to read it. But I’m writing it for me. I’ve kept it anonymous so I can be free to write what I actually feel because no one, except one person, knows me and I’d trust her with my darkest secrets. I write for me, to clear my head and refresh my being. I don’t write for my readers… the few I actually have, I write for my own sanity. And so I’ll keep writing because I have a lot more crap to work out and hopefully an amusing antedote or original witty idea will show up once in awhile and if not… it’s free therapy. And hey, if I develop as a writer… all the better for me.

    I don’t know if any of that helps you at all… but it’s why I blog and why I’ll keep blogging. I’m always going to have shit to work out. It’s an inevitable part of my dull, boring life. :o)

  11. 11 Spot November 18, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    If I didn’t lose readers by making fun of religion (kind of) I’m pretty sure they won’t desert you for saying fuck. And we all have days where we don’t come off quite the way we wanted to or we need to whine or whatever. Even the kind of almost famous but still upaid bloggers have their bad days. And yet, I continue to read them. Because I know that somedays they are golden and I laugh so hard my tummy hurts.

    Personally, I haven’t seen any sucky blogs from you. I’ll let you know if I do, K? Because that’s what friends (blogbuds) are for. Just keep blogging through your slump and you’ll be fine.

    ♥Spot

  12. 12 Breeza November 18, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Don’t quit! I love reading your blog 🙂

  13. 13 Daphne November 18, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Jessica, hang in there as long as this blog does something good for you. It’s like a guy – are you better with him or without him? 🙂 If this blog serves a purpose for you, keep it. If it doesn’t, don’t keep it.

    As others have said though, we would really miss you. You’re definitely a completely fresh breath of air and I need your blog to keep the ones I read diverse and funny. I mean, I was in your airport and I was excited about that! That never would have happened if you didn’t blog. So there.

    Oh, and if you’re interested in more visitors, you could slut up your blog with some of the things that “attract” readers, but I really think you’d be attracting the wrong kind of attention there…

    Are you getting enough sun?

  14. 15 LB @Wait, She Said What? November 18, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    Just so other people don’t think I’m insane, you responded to dammit once before so I’m betting my odds and hoping it works again.

    Anyway, I looove your blog. I read every time you post I just don’t always comment. I should though since I know I love when people comment on mine. Just the other day I was like, “the readers don’t like me anymore’, just because my number of comments dropped a little. But then I just said FUCK IT because I still love writing the blog, even if no one ever came back to read it.

    Oh BTW, your comment on my Moronic Monday story yesterday, just awesome! I think it’s the best thing someone has ever said to me on there. Actually I think it’s tied with the one where someone said one of my titles should be on a t-shirt and that they would totally buy it.

    I’m very picky about the blogs I read, and yours is always at the top! =)

  15. 16 Jaime November 18, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    I’ve never ‘quit’ blogging, but I have taken blog vacations. I’ve taken several, actually. I often put my blog before a lot of other things in life, and when I do that I find I become frustrated. So I take a few days, or a few weeks for myself. For figuring out why I write. Sometimes I don’t want to blog, so I don’t. Other times I don’t want to blog but know that I have to. I’m a writer, I need to write. I need this outlet, or with all my frustration and everything going on with my life I won’t write anymore. And that is when I’m the saddest.

  16. 17 liz November 18, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    I’m with the rest of the crew … write what you want …when you want …I’ll always read it.

    I sometimes write every day and then went 3 weeks without writing because I was just busy doing other stuff [my dad … who reads my blog … rang to check I hadn’t died!].

    And like the other cool and fabulous commenters …I really do write for myself and if people read me … fab … if they don’t … have a good life.

    It’s a blog …not a cure for cancer … although …

    xxx eat some choc … bitch at Tim … say Fuck as often as you want … just be you Jessica.

    And I’ll look forward to your next post.

    xxLiz

  17. 18 mrssoup November 18, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Hey, blogging should be for you. If you are getting frustrated, just remember….blogging should be for fun and for you! If that is no longer the situation, then maybe you should take a break.

    I’d hate to see that as I love reading you. But if it’s not making you happy…. 😦

  18. 19 Theresa November 18, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    I only just got here too and I’m already a loyal reader. You definitely have more interesting things to say than I do. Geez – even your conscience has more to say. Keep it up as long as it makes you happy.

  19. 20 Stephanie November 18, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Sometimes I just think, hey I wonder when I’ll quit because I can’t imagine doing it forever and I’m not very good at it. Plus, I can’t imagine doing it forever. But, I guess it’s good for now.

  20. 21 Stephanie November 18, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Wow. I am very smart. I just wrote the same sentence twice is a three sentence comment. I have the excuse that my mom called me in the middle of me writing it?

  21. 22 lifestartsnow November 18, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    your blog, your rules. time to quit? then it’s time to quit. but when it’s not that time yet then the heck forget about quitting!

    franzi

  22. 23 Jess November 18, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Lately I sit back and re-read previous posts. Worst. Idea. EVER. I especially like to reflect on the ones that have incriminated me in “real life” more than I ever imagined they would. That’s typically what I write best about because I’m pussy-footing around trying my hardest to NOT be a total bitch, when, in reality, I just need to pull up my big girl panties and lay it out there for the world to see. I’ve had to pep talk myself lately, so I’m glad you need someone to slap you in the face and say, “Hey! Woman! Quit your bellyaching and keep up the damn fine work!” So there. I said it. I gave you a giant virtual bitch slap. Because I love you and all your randomness. Even the “shitty” writing. I like that too. Because I’ve been there. We have ALL been there. If someone claims to always be on like Donkey Kong, they could not be in more denial. There I go, picking fights I surely can’t win. Oh well, I’m having a blast being a mini-bully motivator lady friend person.

    xo

  23. 24 peedee November 18, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Me and my snoballs love you Jessica. No, for real! I been crazy lately with life gettin in the way of my blog reading and commenting.

    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

    and there is something for you on my page….

  24. 25 Alice in Wonderland November 18, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Please don’t think about quitting! I know that I don’t comment as often as I should, but, as they say, I’m neither fish, fur or fowl! Meaning that I am a young widow, no children, no Family, so I find it hard to belong to one group or another! But I started writing because it was my way of escape. It was my way of dealing with things, I write because I want to write! So, O.K. I’ve had to put up with some serious shit lately from another blogger, and It would have been so easy for me just to throw it all in, but I decided to stay! Not long ago, there was someone who has written on this very blog that she didn’t like “British” people! I know who that person is, and I tracked down her site and was even going to put myself down as one of her followers because she never had many, but then I thought, what the fuck,S…! I know how you feel about me! And if you don’t know who I am talking about, then you must have a very short memory or be very thick skinned! But, that is my gripe, and I’m getting away from the point. I’m my case, I thought that it was just too much to do. Getting around to comment on all my readers was taking me all day, and often until 5 or 6:00 a.m.!
    I was tired. I was totally fed-up with the whole thing, people were putting themselves down as followers, and never commenting at all, so it sot to the stage where it was time to clear out the dead-wood, sort of childish, I know, but this is not a competition to see who can get the most followers. I know that I would rather have 5 or 6 regular readers who commented everyday, than have a whole list of people that I have never even had any idea that they were there!
    So, don’t give up. You have far more comments than I ever get! I’m lucky if I get 20 comments a day, although my followers are well over 100! So, what the fuck, just enjoy your tapping away, and if you need to take a break, then take it!
    Big Hugs!

  25. 26 Amy November 18, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Did anyone at first think “Jess” was Jessica herself and completely confused halfway through the comment? No? Just me? Ok then.

  26. 27 Susan Mercedes November 18, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Don’t be a bitch and fuck up my RSS feed readings each day. Thanks. xo

  27. 28 tamsen November 18, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    The problem with “fuck” is that good writers don’t do it. They know it takes up space, takes away from real writing. Sure, there’s a time it’s witty or funny, but only in context where you wouldn’t expect it. When a 5-year-old story character says, “Aw fuck, Dad,” – that’s funny. But even when that happens, it’s like once a book, not once a paragraph. You didn’t used to say “fuck” all the time, least of all things like “fuckityfuckfuck,” which I may have confused from another blog. Whatever – your style changed. Is the new one an act, or was the old one? Doesn’t matter, but if you’re in a rut, it’s because of the acting.

    Don’t act. Just be. Readers read, followers follow. Writers write. Besides, you can always delete it all later like I did.

    –Spooky/Spookwright

  28. 29 divinem November 18, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Don’t quit! You are far too entertaining! I have enjoyed reading your blog very much! And I for one, would like you to continue. I am pretty new to the whole blogging thing, and I found your blog not too long ago, and sorry for not commenting yet. But I do read yours daily.

  29. 30 LB @Wait, She Said What? November 18, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    You know what? If you want to say fuck then just say it! You can even say fuckityfuckfuck a million times a post if you want. Don’t let SOME people tell you that you’re a bad writer just because you use it. You’re a hilarious writer and you have all your comments to prove it. We all love you. We all find you hilarious and we all don’t want you to quit!

    Be like The Bloggess. Take the hater comments as humor and keep doing what you’re doing. It works for you. If it didn’t you wouldn’t have so many people telling you they want you to stay!

  30. 31 Brianna November 18, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    Not sure how we got on ‘fuck’ commentary… I say it all the time, and sadly, I write like I speak. In fact, Patrick, shooshed me in the local mexican restaurant the other day because there we kids in the booth behind us. Needless to say I was not pleased :). So anyone who reads my blog will have to get over it. Just blame my Great-Grandmother.

    Anyway, back to your blog. I’m a fairly new reader but I’ve been enjoying it. If your blogging for fame and fortune then a personal blog is going to take…forever…Decide if it’s worth it. If your blogging because you have a large ego and figure your life is exciting enough to share (i.e. why we blog) then just go for it when you want.

    Anyway, for the record I’m looking forward to future posts.

  31. 32 Kelly November 18, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    I know the feeling, but I’ve decided that–for now–I blog for me, because I like it, because it is a little therapeutic and I need all the therapy I can find!

    In addition, sometimes you just need to say Fuck!

  32. 33 Shannon November 18, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    I see a shit ton of people commented and I don’t really want to read through them all cause I have some catching up to do. So I’m sorry if I’m repeating something. But seriously…I’m going to be selfish. It sucks, it blows, but I love you. And so do many others. And I thought about you everyday of my new job so far because I hate not being able to write everyday and I hate feeling disconnected from my little blog community and maybe that makes me lame and pathetic but I don’t care. But you get to do it everyday and you get to work at it and better yourself and keep climbing that fucking hill because I need to live off your success when you write a book remember? Did I just sound bitchy? I hope not. That is all the pep talk I can muster at the moment:) Kepp trudging. And saying fuck cause for some reason it makes me giggle. I don’t picture you as a cusser:)

  33. 34 ittybittycrazy November 18, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    We all blog for different reasons.

    We all want to be read, but there is a large component of us simply needing to express ourselves.

    There was an article on blogging recently in the UK Sunday Times – primarily about women blogging and why they do it. You can find the link in my post about why I blog…

    http://www.ittybittycrazy.com/imported-data/2009/11/14/dear-diary-to-blog-or-not-to-blog.html

    Don’t worry about blogging about the bad stuff as well as the good stuff. Express your true self.

    And anyway, it’s a good brain break for those of us who read you to get to think about someone’s problems other than our own sometimes!

    Hang in there… I’ll miss you if you go anywhere…

  34. 35 txtingmrdarcy November 18, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Must add to the lovefest- Don’t quit!! Even if you get only 10 people reading you a day (like me!), it’s not about that. You write because you are awesome at it. You write because you have a unique voice.

    You are the ultimate over-achiever- you’re tackling a million things right now and it’s easy to get frustrated in search of balance.

    In which case, the only thing that helps is FUCK.

    yup. FUCK.

  35. 36 crazy in the making November 18, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    I am just going to say what everyone else has said. We love you! We love coming to your blog to find out what you are thinking, how you are doing, what is going on in Jessica’s world right now.

    We (I) may not comment every day because we may not feel that we have something to say hasn’t already been expessed by someone else in your comments and don’t want to be redundant.

    I love your little bloggy world and the community that it has become. You make everyone feel welcome to expess their thoughts and like you really value their opinions.

    Without participating in Buff-Tober I don’t think I would have found the other wonderful ladies blogs. Baritias probably wouldn’t mind if I stopped harrasing her about shipping cupcakes, but I have seen all the ladies that partipated comment on each others blogs. It feels to me like by participating we made bloggy friends we might not otherwise made. You made that happen by being the awesome blogger you are.

    So if you don’t feel like you are getting what you want out of blogging anymore, that’s understandable. But don’t stop because you may not get hundreds of comments. Those that do comment don’t feel like they are lost in the masses.

    And how can you stop blogging until you tell us your huge secret so we can be happy for you and celebrate with you for completing the marathon? How is that fair? And what about is that have been slaving over our thankfulness posts?

    I will end this really long comment by saying that some of us will feel like we lost a fabulous bloggy friend if you stop blogging!

  36. 37 Val November 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    I want you to know that saying ‘fuck’ will actually get your new readers! I know this because I am a premier curser, have been since I started talking and saying ‘fuck’ as well as the other expletives will impress many of us who like the sound of that very versatile adverb/noun/verb/adjective. 🙂 P.S. I love your blog

  37. 38 mark price November 18, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    FUCK YEAH! I quit…for now anyway. Youre awesome by the way so keep posting. See ya!

  38. 39 Bethany November 18, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    I heart your blog and would be bummed if you quit! I always go to your blog to get a laugh. 🙂

  39. 40 Stone Fox November 18, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    so, fuck sakes, jess. what is up with this bullshit? what’s with the Pissy Attitude? like you’re going to quit. you *need* this writing shit to keep your sanity, so get your head out of your ass and back in the game. you’re smart, funny, creative. go out in the world and actually LOOK at things, at life, at other people. stop being so hard on yourself – writing is a challenge, and just try to tell me you don’t love a challenge.

  40. 41 Mrs. Bunker November 18, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Just got here, via Peedee, Queen of The dogs. I vote you keep going, and I suppose the f-bomb just got you another reader, you showed excellent restraint, after all.
    Best, Edith

  41. 42 Amanda November 18, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    I was going to be all, “Don’t quit Jessica!” but clearly others have covered that base 😉 I’m not going anywhere!

  42. 43 fattiefatterton November 18, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    I will come down there and beat the crap out of you if you stop.

    Love, Lawgirl

  43. 44 Shelli November 19, 2009 at 3:58 am

    Good grief woman! You can’t quit! First of all, I just started reading your blogs, and I don’t read all that many blogs to begin with! So, you should be feeling pretty damn special by now!

    Second, judging by the amount of people that commented before me (I had to scroll to China and back just to find the fucking comment box), I’d say you have one hell of a following! So you’re in a rut, big deal. Take a break for a bit … just not too long, k. ‘Cause by the looks of things, you’ll have an angry horde stampeding their way to Booshytown, demanding that Babs immediately releases you to us.

    There, feel better now? 😉

  44. 45 ToadMama November 19, 2009 at 7:40 am

    FUCK! What would I do without my daily streaming dose of cleverly employed profanity? That FFFF thing has gone a long way in my house. (-:

  45. 46 Kristi November 19, 2009 at 8:37 am

    You’re right. No one cares. You should really quit. I mean, it’s not like there are 40-something comments posted before the one I’m posting now. Because, I mean, IF THERE WERE then it would probably mean that you actually do have readers and people really do care. Wait, we do care and we do like you. So for f’s sake. Stick with it woman. 🙂

  46. 47 DebbieQ November 19, 2009 at 8:51 am

    Um excuse me young lady but you aren’t quitting now. If you quit then that means that all of us other bloggers who only ever get, AT MOST, 8 comments on a particular blog post and who slog along in the blogging trenches right along side you are doomed, just doomed…

    And beside, I can’t bring myself to write the “F” word on my blog (see I couldn’t even write it here) so I have to have you to do it for me.

  47. 48 esdowd November 19, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Honestly, I’m not a big fan of the casual use of “fuck.” But that hasn’t stopped me from reading your blog. I enjoy it (especially your conversations with Tim).

  48. 49 mepsipax November 19, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    I am with you on this one. I hate that I follow how many page views a day. Sometimes it is depressing. If it helps you feel better you just gained another reader.

  49. 50 Love November 19, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    I hate to be a hater…but blog popularity is totally meaningless in the whole scheme of things. Nobody is going to die if you stop blogging. Except maybe you. And you will not likely save anybody’s life if you keep blogging everyday. Except maybe your own.

    So just blog when you’re in the zone. Don’t blog when you feel like its been a day too long and you need to write _something_. Don’t blog for us, blog for you. Then everybody wins.

    You’re doing great. Keep on chugging and keeping it real.

  50. 51 lifestartsnow November 19, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    see how many regular non-commenters are urged to comment upon your the threat of quitting? you must be doing something right!

    franzi

  51. 52 Jennifer Lynn November 20, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    STAY! Period-Blood. You rock:) just sayin’.


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