*updated* the damn answers

*update* apparently I should have said: here are the damn answers…I think the whole iq test part just confused the hell out of everyone, including me.

I think you have managed to stretch my brain in about every direction possible, which is exactly why I think the following should be immediately converted to one of those online IQ tests.

The questions…followed closely by the answers.

Since you are a newlywed, I’d like to know how you handle those moments when your husband just gets on your last nerve. Don’t lie and say it doesn’t happen … because it happens to EVERYONE. Do you look him in the eye and tell him to leave you alone? Do you mercilessly make fun of him? Or do you avoid him entirely? Or, is it something totally different?

I lock him in the closet, actually, until he swears to behave. Truthfully, we usually just go to our separate corners. It’s safer for everyone that way.

What is really keeping you and Tim from getting the heck out of Georgia?

A job…for Tim. He’s Mr. Breadwinner, so…yah. It’s kind of important that he has a job. I mean, at least until I make my millions…….which will probably happen exactly three days after unicorn’s begin to shit skittles, so…

What kind of computer do you use?

Does an iPhone count? Well, hell, I’m answering, so yes, it does. I use my iPhone…usually to respond to comments or send emails…and then there’s the laptop…a Dell something…a really small one…and the actual *computer* is a Dell XPS One (I had to call Tim because this information is out of my realm of knowledge that I refuse to store).

What is that secret you’ve been mentioning?

To debut shortly. I’m completely sworn to secrecy. I mean, I’ll be drawn and quartered if I say anything, and then booshy would disappear…which would mean that you wouldn’t get your daily dose of…whatever the hell this is…entertainment?

Why do I keep reading this?

Because who can avoid a train wreck and the resulting aftermath? Nobody.

In the mystical “T” facial picture, what are the three tripodish things in the lower right background?

I had to go back and look at the picture…it’s one of the ten thousand miniature boats around the house. Tim collects them…

jessmask1

What is the meaning of life?

Hustle your ass off. Feel the wind on your face and the sand between your toes. Get hurt. Laugh until you cry. Eat chocolate. Love…and lose. Scream. Go to bed with a promise and wake up with a smile. Pet a sheep. Feed a dolphin. Be afraid. Overcome. Live.

Complete these sentences

A perfect day for me would be: Getting up early and hiking to the summit of a mountain, sweating the entire time, legs aching and burning. Then, simply sitting at the top where all you can hear are the beating of birds wings and the wind rushing down the mountainside. With Tim, of course. He’d probably kill me if he wasn’t invited plus there wouldn’t be anyone to handle the scary things that I refuse to confront, like snakes.

Or sitting in a giant bookstore, signing autographs in my (yet to be completed) book.

3 things I loved doing as a kid but don’t do anymore: Playing barbies. Basketball. Being irresponsible. I miss basketball the most, though. I’m pretty much over the whole Barbie-Ken drama that never seemed to resolve itself…

A few ways I am good to myself: Wow…I think I actually suck in this department, because I tend to do nothing for myself that one would typically consider “good” like getting a manicure or taking bubble baths or…I run. That’s what I do. And I write, which is probably better for Tim than it is for me…since it allows me to get the frustration out before I start yelling nonsense at him for no reason other than I’m in a pissy mood…

If I ruled the world I’d: Throw all the politicians and world leaders on an island together. I’d keep them hostage with only coconuts and rice to eat until they came to some kind of workable solution for everyone to either get along or leave each other the hell alone or agree to disagree. Kind of like Survivor, only way worse.

Do you think a sixth sense exists? Explain. Yes. Back when I answered the first set of questions, I shared how I lost my brother. Before I actually *knew* what had happened, I kept having very vivid dreams and I just felt that something was wrong. Granted, I didn’t know exactly *what* it was but my entire being was screaming at me . And it still happens. I called my mom out of the blue around this time last year as she was admitting my brother to the ER due to his appendix rupturing (and he made it through fine and is perfectly healthy now). Somehow I just *know* when something serious is happening to those I am closest with and I’m convinced it’s a sixth sense type of deal.

What “close call” did you have from your past? Describe it. Close call?…as in near death experience? I mean, I’ve been on an airplane that started to land and then took off again about three seconds after both sets of wheels hit the tarmac because we were about to hit another airplane, thanks to who the hell knows why. Does that count?

Do you now, or have you ever, had a nickname. If so, what is it and where did it come from? Ohhhh nicknames. I’ve had lots over the years…”Secka” by my brother Jeff, due to his inability to say “Jessica” along with “Jeja” from my other brother, Mason, for the same reason. I’ve been called JB and UPS during my basketball days…my name has been shortened to “Jess” by most people I know…apparently it’s easier to say…requires less effort or something. Lazy, is what I think. And lots of you are starting to call me “booshy” so I that’s now becoming an unintentional nickname (which, I think is how they all start, anyway. I mean, who walks around all, “Call me Sprinkles!”….”But your name is Jessica?…I’m confused?”)

Hypothetically speaking: if you were playing a game of scrabble and after a word was played it was noticed that this particular sequence spelled a valid word both from left to right and right to left. Would you say the points awarded should be doubled (for spelling a word both forwardly and reversidly?): Sure. As long as someone else does the math because I would probably end up subtracting or raising the points to a negative power. And I have no idea how to even DO that…so who the hell knows what the result would be. I think it probably means you win (I think you totally just invented two words, by the way: forwardly and reversidly – which totally would not count in Scrabble).

Do you believe or are you in the opinion that it is not against the rules to browse through a dictionary ‘just for word ideas’ For example browsing the entire dictionary instead of looking up specific words which you may think you have the tiles to spell but need verification? Thesaurus.com is my best friend, followed closely by dictionary.com. So, no. Definitely not against my rules.

Is you first name REALLY booshy? Ummmm….no. Not technically.

What kind of work did you do before deciding to write your book? I was a Registrar. Yay! Records management.

What did you go to school for? I have a BA in Psychology. Which had nothing to do with being a Registrar…

How did you meet Tim? I mean, I think this sums it up. But, in one word: online.

And I think my brain just exploded glitter and miniature winged ponies.

Awesome.

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14 Responses to “*updated* the damn answers”


  1. 1 Theresa November 16, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Somebody was really looking very closely at that photo – in almost a creepy way. I wouldn’t have noticed such a minute detail unless I was playing one of those games where you have to spot the differences between two pictures that basically look identical.

  2. 2 radiorunner November 16, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    I hope you get awards and crap more often. I am thoroughly entertained by your totally sensible nonsense.

  3. 3 Jess November 16, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    I think your sensible nonsense is incredible. I know I’ll keep reading. Hurry with the book and then don’t forget to add Phoenix to your tour. I’d love your autograph…oh, a book written by you too. For the autograph to be housed. What?

  4. 4 Bethany November 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    I like this post, haha! It cracked me up and YES they were definitely looking crazy close at that picture.

  5. 5 submom November 16, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Thank you for NOT answering “42” to the question about meaning of life. Or perhaps it’s because you are too young or not nerdy enough (or both) to have that trope embedded in your psyche. I am very sorry for your loss…

  6. 6 dirtclustit November 16, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    I thought the IQ test statement was funny

    Thank for having the courage to answer such intimate questions about yourself

  7. 7 Mindy@thesuburbanlife November 17, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Dang, girl. You have got some answers. I mean, meaning of life? That’s deep shit. You’re kind of like a guru now. I’ve got one further…what’s the meaning of MY life? =)
    Mindy

  8. 8 Shelli November 17, 2009 at 6:13 am

    *snort* Just too funny! 😀

    Ok, so I’ve already done all of your meaning of life stuff. Now what? Man, I’m gonna be so lost again.

  9. 9 Angelia November 17, 2009 at 7:34 am

    The sixth sense answered surprised me, because after I typed it, all I could think of was ghosts and Bruce Willis.

    I was like what? So, very cool, you made me remember what it was really about (I see people). My mom and sister are like that too.

    I totally did not see the boat in that picture, weird!

    The meaning of life answer ROCKS, I have purpose, meaning, and direction now. YES!

    When your brain reforms, Holla!

  10. 10 lifestartsnow November 17, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    i would have answered 42 to the meaning of life question. i’m nerdy that way.

    can’t believe you dodged my question though….tse…i’ll remember that young lady! *evil stare* jk

    franzi

  11. 11 Amy November 17, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Totally met my husband online, too. Also made up a story about how we met for quite a long time. Come to think of it, I still don’t think his family knows almost 7 years later…

  12. 12 Lori November 18, 2009 at 9:37 am

    I love your (sort of ) random questions and answers, Jessica. You’re so honest with yourself and others, and so committed in your writing.

  13. 13 Daphne November 18, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    I have a followup question (please forgive the delay – I was traveling). Is Tim in love with his job? Could he get a job somewhere both of you would be happier? If the only thing keeping you in Georgia is his job…. get started looking for something better, woman! You both deserve to be happy!

  14. 14 newme November 23, 2009 at 6:01 am

    Hey Jess..I jus loved your answer to ‘What is the meaning of life?’. I’m goin to steal is..:)

    Also, fun to read ur blogs. Glad I found it or you found mine, so I could find yours…. whatever!

    tc!


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