*updated to say: apparently britney spears was a bad example

I’ve been completely negligent in my recognition of nice people bloggers. I mean, we should totally reward positive behavior…it’s like I’ve turned into the news where the nice things are a tiny blip at the end all she-saved-thirty-helpless-kittens-but-who-the-hell-cares. Goodnight.

*begin 10 minute commercial about the disasters to be reported on tomorrow’s broadcast*

I don’t exactly watch the news, so I’m probably totally off base…

(and just so you know, there is a point to my Britney Spears reference)

Anyway…let me start with submom at The Absence of Alternatives. She gave me this award…eons ago. EONS.

Kreativ Blogger Award

And the initial reason I hadn’t accepted the award was because it comes with chores. Chores to the tune of 7 random things about me. And I was struggling with what random means, exactly.

Then I checked out submom’s blog and I notice this:

#7 Absence Alternatives on November 5, 2009 at 9:14 am Absence Alternatives

@ Jessica
I hereby absolve you from the obligation of having to write the Random Things. I know you’ve got a lot going on over there. Now I have to be mean to the others though. They may cry foul…

Dear submom: I have no excuse since November 5th to NOT accept this award. I’ll chalk it up to my being a sucky blogger-friend. You are now my award-giving hero! I mean, I love getting awards…because awards are pretty and fun and I also love playing…I do. Swear it. Lately I’ve just been really sucking in the coming up with anything noteworthy arena…but I’m back, dammit. I’M BACK!

I even started writing down random things before I saw submom’s comment…I just never made it to 7 because, well, I’m a bad, irresponsible blogger:

1. I refuse to drink the last of anything. I leave around a quarter of an inch in the bottom of the glass or cup or mug or whatever the hell it is…except a cereal bowl. In my 26 years of cereal eating, I’ve mastered pouring exactly enough milk to not have any leftover. As for anything else, I’m convinced the end of a drink is all backwash. And I’m not drinking backwash.

2. I used to shun country music all, “how stupid…singing about dogs and trucks and losing your girlfriend.” Then I accidentally allowed my ears to listen to a song that was considered “country.” I still have no idea how it happened. The worst part? I liked it. And because I had been all, “country music’s for dumb old hicks!” I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone that I LIKED IT…that I was a dumb old hick…a HICK! (That word sounds funny now…hick). I was in the closet about my country music love affair for years. I finally came out in college – cause everyone else liked it (yay! for going to a school in the middle of nowhere). So yes, I love country music. It’s almost all I listen to now. And county music + love = awesome. It does not = hick. Well, not in my unique case, anyway.

Ummm….yah. So, that’s all I had going for me in the random department…I mean, I walked through Home Depot yesterday in a short plaid skirt, long-sleeved white collared shirt, a 3/4 sweater over the white shirt and black heels. Think a modified Britney Spears without the knee-high socks – only way better because I don’t smoke or forget to wear panties. If I’m not wearing panties, it’s on purpose.

Anyway, after traipsing through the store looking for a flashlight for Tim to wear on his head…(begin random tangent) I was convinced the head lamp things were in the plumbing department…wrong…and why, you ask? Well, we run now, remember? The whole marathon thing? And said running has been taking place in the dark…so Tim was all, “it’s for safety reasons” when it’s really so we don’t trip and fall on our asses.

(end tangent)

So, after getting strange looks from every single person we passed…I mean, they were even doing that whole bend the top half of your body around the corner to try and see…I finally looked over at Tim in the checkout line and whispered, “ummm…apparently everyone thinks I’m weird.” And he raises his eyebrows and looks at me all, “You’re wearing heels. In Home Depot. And yes. They’re still staring.”

Does that count as random?

And the award recognition isn’t over…I also received this from Leese at Living Me 101


I get to be sweet (Leese, what the hell were you thinking?) and I don’t have to answer 37.5 random questions. Awesome.

The Sweetest Award should be renamed the Awesomeist Award.

No, maybe I’ll invent that one.

So, if anyone sends me an Awesomeist Award in the future, I’ll know you stole my idea.

And stealing is not nice.

I learned that the hard way when I was three. I stole this miniature lego spaceship from my friend’s house. It was just big enough for one lego dude to ride it…all tight and compact so pieces didn’t fall off when you had to go into battle or rescue the princess or something.

Then, said compact-spaceship was all of a sudden *missing* and my “friend” decided to go all tattle-tale on my ass since I was the only person who had been anywhere near his stupid legos…so his mom called my mom and I was totally busted.

Dammit! I loved that lego spaceship.

(Thanks, James, for ruining my one shot at loving things like aerodynamics and being good at something important, like math)

Yes, I am still bitter.

No, Tim says my Britney Spears outfit is only for him.

And apparently Home Depot.


11 Responses to “*updated to say: apparently britney spears was a bad example”

  1. 1 Jean Has Been Shopping November 15, 2009 at 11:59 am

    How ’bout an award for ‘Crazy Random Shit Rolling Around In My Head’?! Loved this blog!

  2. 2 Shannon November 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    I also leave the last of my water, soda, beer, etc behind for that exact resson. It drives some people nuts. It grosses me out. I listen to country music but I did grow up in back ass country so I am hick although I don’t like to talk about it because that is embarrassing. I have also walked into Home Depot in heels and a skirt and you are like a moving target. EVERYONE is watching. You pick up a hammer or something and suddenly you are an instant porn for every man there. ew.

  3. 3 Leese November 15, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    …omg… you SO got another award!

    I was bored :: because I don’t train for marathons at night, dress like Britney Spears in Home Depot and am not writing a book about Fabbits :: so I created one..

    And PS:

    I, too, hid my country music obsession since they Crips.. or Bloods.. or Goonies.. ( or whatever they’re called now ) in the inner-city would SO not understand music that actually has WORDS and that you can SING ALONG TO so they just might have busted a cap in my ass. Either that or it was because my fingers couldn’t make the “gangsta” sign right.. dunno

  4. 4 Spot November 15, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    So randomly…I love country music. I don’t think I’m a hick. I never dress like Britney Spears. And I love love love Home Depot/Lowes/Menards. I like to walk up to the sales guys and be all “so do you have any of those googly silver things that do that one thing. Oh and I might need some thing to adhere that with. And a lightbulb.” And then my hubby comes up and asks if I’m annoying the sales people again and tells them to pay no attention to me because I know what I’m talking about and am just yanking their chains. So basically he’s a fun sucker.

    Congrats on your awards!

  5. 5 lifestartsnow November 15, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    country music is my soundtrack for road trips! that and moby.

    seems like your regular readers also like county. wow, maybe your taste in music is reflected in your writing which is why other country listeners read your blog?! now that’s something to contemplate about…


  6. 6 submom November 15, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    Two random things are better than none. THAT also is a great country song title. Or a comedy troupe. Home depot should really take note: I just commented on another blog (yes, you got me, I am an internet troll…) that Home Depot should totally have a jewelry department. “Honey, can I get that circular saw?” “Well, sure sugar, if it is ok with you that I get that tennis bracelet.” Many problems solved. Congrats on your awards!

  7. 7 Alice in Wonderland November 15, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    Congrats on your award! I used to sing in a band that did Country/Rock, but it was mainly covers of The Eagles and Mary Chapin Carpenter, and stuff like that, but I still loved it! Now I’m sort of into The Beatles! Don’t know how that happened!
    I hate all kinds of D.I.Y. stores! Why do men think that women can’t get the right light-bulb or batteries?

  8. 8 maureenlynn November 15, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    what was the country song that you liked?

  9. 9 Belle November 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Yayyy for country music! We need some more non-hicks to join us so that we can change the reputation.

  10. 10 txtingmrdarcy November 15, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    I think that everyone in Home Depot thought that they had died and gone to heaven. It’s my boyfriend’s favorite place. And to see a girl in a pseudo-slutty schoolgirl outfit? JACKPOT. You just did all of them a favor.

  11. 11 Angelia November 15, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    Wait? I don’t get it….Were you going to school? And did you lose your knee-highs? I think that’s a violation of school girl wear!


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