i’m a spoiled brat, y’all

I do remember that I swore I’d never say “y’all” but…”you guys” just sounded…wrong.

I’m sure you’ve noticed lately that I keep blaming everything on other, outside issues.

And I’ve come to discover that it really isn’t any of that. At all.

It’s just me. Being a brat. A spoiled, mean little brat.

I tend to cause a lot of unnecessary grief because well, let’s be honest here: I’m a total bitch when I don’t get my way.

And apparently that’s been happening a lot, lately.

I know…I know exactly what you’re thinking.  How could a face like this one cause so much trouble?

so cute?

At least I’ve recognized my problem. That’s step one, I think?

Exhibit A: Last Night at the Dinner Table

I wanted to do a little creative brain storming and asked Tim if we could do said activity during dinner.  I grab my notebook  and Tim grabs a box of pasta noodles as we sit down to eat. And ironically enough, the box of pasta noodles had nothing to do with my exercise in creativity.  He was trying to put his calories in a food tracker app on his iPhone.  I get huffy and decide I don’t want to play my game anymore.  Ensue pouting for the remainder of the evening (from your’s truly) because I forgot to mention that during dinner meant the second we sat down until whenever I decided we were done. What the fuck, me?

Exhibit B: The Couch

Every single night for the past FIVE YEARS, Tim has always let me lay on the entire length of the couch except for a tiny corner section where his ass fits.  And I take advantage of that every. damn. day.  If he has to fidget or rearrange his cramped position because his legs fall asleep from the weight of my obnoxious brain?  Begin loud, voluntary eye rolling and sighing all, “Well, I was comfortable…” And then he’ll be all, “So sorry your COUCH needed circulation.”  In other words, I’m being a bitch again. Noted.

Just so you have a visual, it tends to result in something kind of like this:


Exhibit C: Any Store That Sells a Dress I Like

We have intentionally been avoiding any retail location that involves dresses…or purses.  Tim has pretty much said in no uncertain terms that he isn’t going to pull another muscle dragging me out, kicking and screaming.  Even when we visit such a place on purpose, he will dutifully be my moving clothes rack and waits right next to the dressing room like a pro while I’m busy yelling about how I’m larger than a double-wide.  When it’s HIS turn? I get totally distracted and wander off…or act completely bored like I cannot believe I’m stuck here…waiting around for him. Hold his selected clothes? Ummm…

Yah, I have no idea what he thought he was getting himself into, either.

I think he should be sainted probably about the same time I’m flogged.


22 Responses to “i’m a spoiled brat, y’all”

  1. 1 submom November 14, 2009 at 11:12 am

    I find this post sweet. You and Tim are sweet together. Maybe I have a weird perspective.

    • 2 Jessica November 15, 2009 at 8:04 am

      submom: Your perspective works for me…actually.

      Kristi: Awesome to see you! Don’t be shy…cause well, we all seem to have lots of opinions. 🙂

      Angelia: If you still had that shirt, I would totally wear it…and post a picture of me wearing it. It is perfect!

      eatingmachine: You know…I never thought about it that way….

      Laura: Listen to eatingmachine. That’s the kind of outlook we need.

      Silindile Ntuli: yay! Glad you see you stopped by! Hope to see you do so again from time to time.

      backstripe: I’m not sure if that w as a compliment or an insult?….

      Em: You would be ostricized in this house. He’s an alumni. There is no other team. Duke. Always. Forever. He bleeds blue…

      Spot: So good to know I’m not the only one that does the whole pouty face when I want something…and then Tim will be all, “Do you WANT me to get it for you?” And then I do the coy little shake of the head…

      Ellie Belen: If we have our own little princess, it’s all over for Tim. Over. (Nice to see you stopped by, by the way 🙂 )

      Amy: I think your last sentence sums it up best…cause now it’s for better or WORSE…no matter how much “worse” it happens to be…or something. 🙂

      Theresa Berend: I always give the “look” when Tim moves…and he’ll usually say something like “my knee hurts” or “Sorry. I want to keep my legs.”

      franzi: that pictureis misleading…in that he actually has WAY moe space…I was on good behavior because that was taken when his parents visited…

      Mark: If you only knew….

  2. 3 Kristi November 14, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    LOL I loved this post. I especially loved Exhibit B. Sounds familiar! Can’t wait to read more…

  3. 4 Angelia Sims November 14, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Y’all!! I luv it!!

    I had a shirt growing up. It was yellow and had in those 70’s bubble sparkly letters on the front BRAT.

    I was so proud of that shirt. You need one of those. 🙂

  4. 5 eatingmachine November 14, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    i’m pretty sure that when it’s stuff with a significant other, it’s only bratty when they get mad about it. the rest of the time it’s endearing.

    or at least that’s what i tell myself when i’m dragging my fiance through ann taylor to visit clothes i want.

  5. 6 Laura November 14, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    I am spoiled too. I do the exact same thing. And I feel really bad now that I realize what a brat and beyotch I’m being. :/

  6. 7 Silindile Ntuli November 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    First time here and this post made me bookmark your blog, it’s really nice.

  7. 8 backstripe November 14, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    I knew you were a spoiled brat the first time I read your blog.

    It’s easy to see the spots on the other dalmatians….

  8. 9 Em November 14, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    Yep … that sounds a lot like me lately. I think acknowledging it is the most you should have to do though … so, carry on Soldier.

    And for the record, I loathe his support of DUKE. UK all the way, Baby!!

  9. 10 Spot November 14, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    All women are princesses and deserve to be treated as such. I have a spot on the couch that I make anyone move from when I want to sit down. My husband holds either my ginormous brain or my feet depending on which way I decide to lay. And we watch whatever I want to watch. And if I feel the least bit bad and need a cup of tea, I mention it and then sit there with my lower lip stuck out until he makes it for me. So um, you’re not so bad. We were just lucky enough to find guys who put up with us! When I don’t want to do something he says “don’t they know you’re a princess and princesses don’t have to do that?!”. Hahaha. Welcome to the club!


  10. 11 Ellie Belen November 14, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    Excellent. Yes,you are definitely demonstrating the first step of your recovery. But it will be long and slow process, unless of course until you have your own little princess.

  11. 12 Amy November 14, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    You must be my long lost twin, except that you’re pretty and I’m, well, I’m me. I’m the exact way to my Mr. a good bit and I know it and he knows it and I apologize but I just keep doing it. I don’t realize it AS I’m doing it of course, but yeah, I know I’m a real bitch. But then I do think of his load of crap that I put up with and it all evens out and at the end of the day, we each do our share of crap dealing. It works for us and if it works for you guys, then that’s what matters. Yeah, you could be less controlling and dare I say self centered when it comes to his needs vs yours, but even if you don’t get to that point, he loves you anyway. So it’s all good. Out of everyone he chose you and you chose him. It is what it is. :o)

  12. 13 Theresa Berend November 14, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    I have the same couch arrangement and get pissed when Chuck decides to relocate.

  13. 14 lifestartsnow November 15, 2009 at 6:47 am

    seriously, tim should stop complaining. take the pillows off the couch and he’ll have like…double the space he now has available to himself!!!


  14. 15 mark price November 15, 2009 at 7:09 am

    Hi Jessica! I dunno how to be a princess or a whiny girl so I’m just sayin hello! There is either a burglar in your house or the pooches have been taking pics of you and Tim while you sleep and posting them on here…Yeah, scary huh?

  15. 16 submom November 15, 2009 at 8:22 am

    You know why we love you and keep on coming back even though you are a spoiled brat? Because even though you are a spoiled brat, you still manage to respond to the comments. And now you are turning us all into spoiled brats… 😉

    • 17 Jessica November 15, 2009 at 10:19 am

      submom: oh…and mad props…just came flying your way (to the tune of britney spears)

      DJ Kirby: Backhanded…probably the best way to describe it…so, you’ve turned the corner? How? How?!? 🙂

  16. 18 DJ Kirkby November 15, 2009 at 9:48 am

    This post made me laugh….in an ‘I used to be like that’ kind of way. Your man’s clever, he knows you love him all up and is wiling to put up with attitude to get grattitude, even if it is kind of backhanded gratttiude.

  17. 19 submom November 15, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Wow. Thanks! I am finally, officially a sycophant. 😉 By the way, I always want to use that word in a sentence that makes sense. LOL.

  18. 20 DJ Kirkby November 15, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    I had a child, got fat and through my weary mum haze I found myself shocked to realise he STILL loved me and and then I turned 40 and once again was shocked to find he still loved me…why? I’m not asking! So I am still a tired mum and will never be able to enjoy my 30s again but I am losing weight, I owe him that for being so magnificent. Oh and my good attitude towards him has stayed put almost 100%.

  19. 21 backstripe November 15, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    “backstripe: I’m not sure if that w as a compliment or an insult?….”

    Yes. It was….

  20. 22 Bunk Strutts November 16, 2009 at 12:11 am

    YOU need a bowling shirt with flames on it, and so do I.

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