(that’s “asshole” in fabbit, i think)

First, just to clear up any *potential* rumors from yesterday’s post: No bun in the oven. I mean, really… baby + marathon = bad idea. You’ll have to guess again at my little secret that doesn’t involve a baby. I mean, if you want. It’s not like a requirement. More like something better to do when work has decided to beat you over the head with a frying pan.

Anyway…on to more pressing matters: No one told me that writing a book completely removes you from reality. I had to call Tim yesterday to try and bring me back into the here-and-now.

I was all, “Hi. It’s me.”

Tim: Annnnd?….

Me: Just needed to talk to a human who spoke English. Rabbit’s apparently don’t speak English. They speak rabbit.

Tim: You’re writing, aren’t you?

Me: No, actually, I think I was in a forest with lots of snow…talking to a rabbit or rabbit-fox…a fabbit…or a rox…something furry.

Tim: Yes, definitely writing. Well, by the way, today is Wednesday. And it isn’t cold enough to be snowing.

Me: WEDNESDAY? Shit! Wednesday is when it explodes! And temperature doesn’t matter. Snow shoots out of the tree limbs whenever it feels like it.

You see? There is no hope for me…until December 1.

I’m lost somewhere between I have no fucking clue and I have no fucking clue. Wherever the fabbits are…that’s where you can find me. And when you do, call me Secka and lead me by hand to the nearest bus station. I’ve got an emergency 8.5″x11″ laminated (thanks, honey!) poster with my address and an elastic band in my pocket. Find Gus the bus driver. He knows what to do.

I’ve decided to post pictures. To remind me that I am actually a human.

This was a sunset from the other week…from the backyard…I think.

sunsetpic 

I’m very sad I will not be here for Thanksgiving this year.

Paris 1

I will be somewhere else.

Actually, I’ll still be helplessly lost if someone doesn’t get their lazy ass up and come find me.

That’d be the right thing to do, you know.

I know Tim would probably appreciate it.

He might even send you a picture from his gallery.

Depending on my state of return, though. Cause if I come back speaking fabbit, well, then we’re all fucked.

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15 Responses to “(that’s “asshole” in fabbit, i think)”


  1. 1 Mrs Soup November 5, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    That is a beautiful picture of the Eiffel Tower.

    And maybe I’m glad my husband isn’t writing his book….

  2. 2 Theresa November 5, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    You may be lost in the land of the fabbits, but how cool is it that you’re writing a book? That is so much more fun than working for “the Man”. I know that’s lame, but seriously, writing a book is amazing, and it is amazing that you have the time and energy to do it! Pretty pictures by the way. The sky does NOT look like that from my backyard.

  3. 3 bevchen November 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Are you moving? Is that your secret?

    Gorgeous sunset!

  4. 4 Jaime November 5, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    One of the things I hate about NaNoWriMo is that I never know what I’m doing, no matter how far along in the month it gets. I just know that when it’s over, I’ll have something. It might suck (actually chances of it sucking are pretty high) and it might not be worth revising and editing, but I have something, and it’s something more than I had. And next year I’ll do it all again.

    BECAUSE I LOVE TORTURING MYSELF.

  5. 5 Breeza November 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Are you going to Paris? Or maybe moving out this way? 🙂

  6. 6 Kid Icarus November 5, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Oh my! Well maybe a glass of wine will help with all that Fabbit nonsense.

    On a side note, is your secret that you’re going to be designing your own website for boosy?

  7. 7 ToadMama November 5, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    You got a freelance job getting paid to ghostwrite someone else’s blog? Is that the secret. I’m glad, for your sake, there’s no bun.

    That sunset doesn’t convince me you’re in the real world. I think you shot it from frabbitland before you escaped.

  8. 8 Just Another Writer November 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    Work prefers to beat me with comically oversized rolling pins. But an excellent point, that rabbits speak rabbit and foxes speak fox, and fabbits of course speak fabbit. This, of course, leaves me to wonder if every time I’m stared at my some small, fuzzy creature, I’m being insulted. But I digress.

    I think everyone is entitled to lapses of sanity when they write, because hey, it makes the whole process THAT much more interesting. Especially if it’s in public; confuses the people around you quite nicely. Keeps ’em on their toes, y’know?

    And if you happen to find the place of the fabbits again, tell them ” ” for me.

    On a side-side note, that is a gorgeous sunset.

  9. 9 lifestartsnow November 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    it’s a marathon-baby! not a human baby. and the marathon is the birth process.
    makes total sense to me but i’m in a sugar low-low. can’t think much.

    paris…there is a direct flight to paris twice a day from the town where i live! wow!!! never used it though…

    franzi

  10. 10 Cyndi November 5, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Can I move in with you in fabbit-land?

  11. 11 Angelia Sims November 5, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Move along people nothing to see here! Back up and give her some air. Is there a doctor in the house?

    We’re losing her!! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

    LOL. Hey, I think you are kicking butt on the wordcount! Woot!

  12. 12 Anne Dewvall November 5, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    The squirrels insult me all the time. I am sure of this.

  13. 13 Spot November 5, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Hmmm…if you’re in a snow covered forest speaking to fabbits, dare I guess it’s a fantasy? Because you really haven’t shared anything about it.

    I keep driving my sister crazy calling her and having her put her four year old on the phone so I can hear her pronounce things. I want to be sure I’m writing the child in my book right. And then my silly sister will ask for some more of the story and then say “stop it! you’re scaring me!”. Um…well…duh…that’s the point! But my word count sucks due to sick teenager. You’re totally kicking my butt.

    Fantastic pictures. =]
    ♥Spot

  14. 14 ittybittycrazy November 5, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Ah, Pah-reeeeee.

    One of my favorite places in the world.

    I remember the first time I went there and we came out of the subway and could see the top of the Eiffel Tower.

    And it was, like, THERE.

    In.

    Real.

    Life.

    Paris is one of my favorite cities in the whole world.

    Why?

    I’ll tell you why….

    http://www.ittybittycrazy.com/imported-data/2009/9/13/travel-paris.html

  15. 15 submom November 6, 2009 at 1:59 am

    Now I understand a little: you are a writer, Tim is a photographer/artist. OK. I declare: insanity is allowed. And understandable. Now I feel less worried about you. Your being lost somewhere somehow reminds me of Stephen King’s Lisey’s Story. Anyway, have you tried leaving freshly baked apple pie on the window sill? I heard that it has the magic power to lead people home.


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