I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking I have no idea what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking.
Actually, I’m pretty sure I had a momentary three day lapse in sanity. And that’s way longer than the usual bouts where I forget to turn off the oven for a few hours or leave a cabinet door open or don’t replace the toilet paper and then plop myself down to do the dirty deed. And don’t think I don’t shout out the hallelujah chorus to the inventor of Kleenex and the good sense Tim had to strategically place a box of tissues in every bathroom when said roll has been reduced to a cardboard tube. Except when those are gone too. Then, well, shit.
The crux of my rambling is simply: The hell, me?
50,000 words in 30 days.
Writing other articles freelance-style.
Did I forget to mention doing the despised domestic duties (DDD), too? Laundry. Cooking Burning dinner. Dealing with the insanity that is Lexi and Maddie. They’re pros at tag-team bullshit. Vacuuming the ungodly amounts of fur that explodes off of each fur-child every day (not that I vacuum everyday. Hell no. More like once a week. If I’m really feeling motivated)…
It’s only…November 4th.
Wait, I forgot to add the little Turkey Trot hard-ass trail race on 11/21.
Fuckitty fuck fuck.
Maybe I’ll just say that 50,000 times.
The teaser will be something like: “Having a bad day? Well, if you’re anything like Jessica and needed to say fuck 50,000 times in a row and then publish it, life must be pretty damn shitty. This book will solve all your problems. Just read until you feel like you’re going to go on a rampage that may or may not involve harming the imaginary creatures that are chittering at you. Then keep reading.”
So, you’re going to have to embrace my nonsense.
It’s only going to get better.
Cause actually, there’s even MORE going on right now…
It’s just that the MORE part is kind of top secret. For now.
I’m so mean.
You’ll forgive me, though, once you get to come into my little box that has been my life for far, far too long.
I really suck at keeping secrets…so I’m actually really proud of myself. You should be too, even if you’re mad.
Blame it on the stress insanity brain overload.
Welcome to my circle of hell.