did your phone ring?…no, let me rephrase: is your phone even on?

I’d like to share a daily conversation that Tim and I have…without fail.

Let me reiterate: DAILY. CONVERSATION.

And I will preface it with this: I TRY to make sure I have my cell phone near me at the end of the day because I KNOW he is going to call on his way home from work.

And without fail…every single day…the house phone (aka “land line”) rings.

Tim: Do you not have your phone with you?

Me: Umm…Yes. I have it.

Tim: Then why didn’t you answer?

Me: It didn’t ring.

Tim: I called. Twice.

Me: The second time doesn’t count…cause I answered the second time.

Tim: No, you answered the THIRD time. I called your cell TWICE.

Me: Well, it doesn’t show that you…oh. There it is. Missed call. Damn.

Tim: I told you. Now I’m wasting minutes.

Me: Don’t we have that family plan or something where minutes don’t count?

Tim: That was Verizon. We have AT&T now, remember? And they do roll over minutes instead.

Me: Didn’t you say we had like three million of those?

Tim: They expire.

Me: That’s now what the commercial says.

Tim: What commercial?

Me: The one with that lady who’s all crazy about saving her minutes.


Me: Well, I think it’s totally false advertising. And even though it says I missed the call, my phone never actually RANG…so technically that’s not my fault.

Tim: Is the ringer even on?

(He’s learned to pick his battles…and debating AT&T’s service plan with me over a commercial is not one of those important one’s…more like one where the white flag is up before it even begins – i.e. my commentary is ignored)

Me: How the hell would I know? That falls into the “electronic devices I do not manipulate” category.

Tim: Do you know how frustrating you can be?…No, wait. Let me answer that: HIGHLY. FRUSTRATING.

Me: Why? Because I don’t know how to turn on my ringer?….turn on my ringer…that sounds like I’m supposed to be like…doing something totally inappropriate and naughty.

Tim: You do realize you’re making my point for me…so what’s to explain?  How about we come back to reality.

Me: Why? It’s so much more fun with the ringer…are you home? Is that the garage?

Tim: No, it’s the ringer. Coming to do naughty, inappropriate things.

Me: Awesome. Tell the ringer I’m upstairs…in bed.


18 Responses to “did your phone ring?…no, let me rephrase: is your phone even on?”

  1. 1 Miss Cherry Red October 21, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Thank God. I thought I was the only person who had this daily conversation with J.

    His phone is constantly on silent and he never answers it and when he does eventually return my call he’s so casual like ‘you rang???’

    By that point the reason I called has been smothered by my rage which often prompts him to ask ‘if you can’t remember what you wanted, was even important’.

    He normally hears the click of the phone being put down then.


  2. 2 Belle October 21, 2009 at 11:07 am

    I would really like to come up with a clever about your phone being on vibrate… and that being naughty… but… I’ve got nothin. I’m a failure.

  3. 3 centria October 21, 2009 at 11:35 am

    ha ha, funny, Booshy! Of course you could live out in the woods like us where you can’t even GET cell phone coverage. Then you don’t have to worry about whether it’s ringing or not. (We have to use a tracphone for traveling…) Good luck with you and Tim figuring this one out!

  4. 4 Alice in Wonderland October 21, 2009 at 11:36 am

    LOL!!! There are so many clever and witty things to come up with about this! I hate it when people tell me that they have phoned! I KNOW that they have phoned, but I don’t always have to answer because their name will be there saying SO and So called at 15hundred hours in that annoying automated voice! Most of the times I never have my cell phone on, because I keep on changing the ring tone or music, and I am left wondering where the noise is coming from, and if I have it on vibrate…well odd things sometimes happen!
    Loved this blog!

  5. 5 Spot October 21, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    Wow. You are officially just like my husband. He never answers his either or responds to texts. “I didn’t hear/feel/see it go off.” Whatever. I’m the complete opposite. I feel naked without my cell phone. “What?! Where’s my cell? What if someone needs me?!”. Obviously I have an over-inflated sense of my importance.


  6. 6 mark price October 21, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    My wife never answers her phone either. It’s irritating. Funny post because we have all probably had this conversation at some point. Oh and I really like that b&w tree pic on your photos.

  7. 7 Middle-Aged-Woman October 21, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Have Tim set that baby to vibrate. THEN you’ll know he’s calling. You just won’t care.

  8. 8 Mrs Soup October 21, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    OMG, our phones do that too! Whenever my husband is at my brother’s house (read: at least 3 days a week), his phone doesn’t register my calls, half the texts and most of the VMs. And AT&T though should have family plan in addition to the rollover minutes. You should still have free calling to other AT&T customers.

  9. 9 Peggy Nolan October 21, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    I miss calls all the time…and my phone is on vibrate…maybe I need to turn the ringer on…or have the ringer turn me on…who knows…I hate my phone.

  10. 10 Cindy Lou October 21, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    Had a cell phone – got rid of it. I wasn’t really liking the idea that people could find me no matter where I was – there are days when I LIKE not being found…..leave me alone! Besides that, up here in the frozen (supposed to get 4-6″ of snow this week) north of the UP, half the places you go don’t get a signal. Now we have a tracphone for traveling and I can ignore people on the house phone…I DO love caller ID.

    Shouldn’t ask but how was playing with the ringer upstairs? 🙂

  11. 11 lifestartsnow October 21, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    i notice when people call but i care enough to ignore them 😉

    i’m all for vibrate. it makes a lot of noise when on a hard surface or you’ll feel it when you have it on you. hubby won’t go unnoticed.


  12. 12 Chelsea October 21, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    OH gosh your poor husband! Mine NEVER turns on his freaking ringer. Drives me out of my mind.

    Funny post though!!

  13. 13 Pop and Ice October 21, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    House phone ringers all turned off and 3 out of 4 cell phones never answered. Yeah, we have AT&T and we all claim never to hear/feel the phone. Well, everyone knows you can’t hear the iPhone no matter how loud you turn the damn thing up.

  14. 14 Elizabeth_K October 21, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    Oh the cell phone issues. Mine are mainly on the weekend — Jason is here, who else do I need to talk to? OH! Family, friends, etc …

  15. 15 Breeza October 21, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    I’m the total opposite but I think you’re smarter. Not being addicted to the phone is good.

  16. 16 Stone Fox October 21, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    god, people without people-kids (as opposed to fur-kids) are so horny.

    • 17 Jessica October 22, 2009 at 7:02 am

      Miss Cherry Red: Exactly. He’s totally missing the point. OF COURSE it was important. That’s WHY I called. I forgot because you took too long to call me back. Duh.

      Belle: Nah…not a failure. Just a non-creative fart…like a brain fart…it’ll come to you after the “smoke” clears.

      centria: We WANT to live out in the middle of nowhere…we just haven’t been able to figure out how…yet….

      Alice in Wonderland: You should be proud to know that I actually KNEW what 15:00 hours was…3:00 in non-military time…(see, I’m trying to learn…). And totally agree. That’s why caller ID was invented. To ignore people. They really should rename it to “caller ignore”

      Spot: Yes. I’m starting to think I agree with your over inflation….I mean…damn. 🙂

      mark price: That tree picture was taken in Arches National Park (by Tim…). However, I’d like to point out that I SUGGESTED he take the picture. 🙂

      Middle-Aged-Woman: Duly noted.

      Mrs Soup: Good to know its not just me…because sometimes Tim DOES call and it never shows…or a text message from three days ago finally pops up…

      Peggy: I don’t know if the ringer is actually going to help…doesn’t seem to help me…but then again, that’s me 🙂

      Elizabeth_K: My family doesn’t call all that frequently…but when they do and I don’t answer…WOW. They’ll be all, “why didn’t you answer your phone? Where are you? Where were you that you couldn’t answer??”

      Breeza: Well, see…I AM addicted. I’m just not very prompt when it asks me to do something. Like answer a phone call.

      Stone Fox: I’m stealing that idea…and storing it away for when we have kids. Except…I might carry a scary mask in my back pocket for when they open the door. Then “mom” really WILL be gone…eaten by the zombie. And then I won’t even HAVE to take a message…

      Cindy Lou: If we had to use a tracphone…we’d be in heaven…we want to live off the grid…somewhere…and, to answer your question: it was AWESOME.

      franzi: I think I must be going deaf or something….cause the vibrate just isn’t all that loud…to me.

      Pop and Ice: That’s what we’ve got…iPhones…and I have to agree. “loud” is like a whisper.

      Chelsea: Yes. He put up with me…somehow.

  17. 18 Erin October 22, 2009 at 7:21 am

    Sorry, I’m on his side here! I get soooo annoyed with my husband when he doesn’t answer his phone. And then when I finally do talk to him, I have no idea why I called the first time. (Yeah, cause it was totally important if I forgot about it that fast.)

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