for all you dog lovers. or picture lovers. or those who like to peek in people’s windows.

I realized I haven’t posted any pictures in like…FOREVER.

And I’m sure you forgot…or maybe you had no idea…that we have a growing puppy in the house who, two months ago, looked like this next to Maddie.

maddielexi8

And this is last weekend during our trip to the nature trail. Lexi-the-Giant has since learned what “sit” means, so we’re Tim is able to get a decent picture.

DSC_6353

If you do better with numbers, which is completely alien to me, but, whatever, I’ll humor you (I’m so nice, I know): When we got Lexi at the end of August, she was like, 21 pounds.

She is now 38 pounds…which is almost 2 pounds A WEEK (I’m sure my math is all wrong…and you’re just going to have to deal…cause just in case you hadn’t figured it out yet: math and I are not on speaking terms). Her paws are bigger than Maddie’s…and she’s almost as long as Maddie.

And that’s more than slightly concerning, considering she’s only however old (June 10, 2009) minus (October 20, 2009) is…I don’t do that, either. Subtracting DATES is like rocket science to me. Calendars don’t help. I’ve tried. I lose count and then I’ll forget to count weekends or holidays, cause they never really “count” anyway when it comes to work and diets and all…

And she’s losing teeth…which totally grosses me out. I picked up one of her toys this morning and found a nice little surprise stuck to it and about lost it. I don’t DO loose teeth…wobbly teeth…random teeth SITTING ON A CHEW TOY…they make my stomach lurch and result in an immediate gag reflex that continues until I can get the image out of my brain and convince myself to think about something totally unrelated…like bubbles.

lexi tooth

I have no idea what I’m going to do about kids. Actually, I know exactly what I’m going to do. They’re going to have to figure it out on their own or wait for their father to come home, cause there will be no help-me-tie-a-string-to-my-piece-of-loose-calcium-and-a-door-knob on my watch…no way am I participating in that activity nor will I be within 500 feet of someone who is. Ever.

I know *they* (whoever those elusive people are) say that dogs are good training for a child…but…I don’t know. I’ve got mixed emotions about that. For one, kids don’t bite each other’s ears when they’re getting protective over territory, like an empty peanut butter jar (BIG MISTAKE. Remind me never to do THAT again…that which resulted in Lexi getting her ear pierced by Maddie’s tooth). Instead it’ll be three thousand times worse. They’ll hit and scratch and then hold grudges for months. Dogs just get over it all, “sorry about that, dude.” And the victim of the gnarly attack all, “no worries, man. I kinda like it. Makes me look tough.”

I mean, not that Lexi has an actual HOLE in her ear…just two really deep gauges…that were almost holes.

Anyway…I don’t even know where I was going with this…oh, comparing dogs to kids.

Somehow, that just didn’t come out right.

Maybe there is no comparison.

And…just FYI: Even IF WHEN a child comes along, the collective “you” will not refer to me as “mommy blogger.”

It’s bad enough that my actual name will disappear and I shall be known as “Hey, you!” or “Moooooooom!” or “I hate you!”

I certainly do not want to be relegated to a fucking category of ten bazillion people.

Wait.

Hear me out.

I have nothing against a mommy blogger. I love mommy bloggers. I read mommy blogs.

What I do have an issue with is categories. Or niches. Or whatever word that will require me part of the collective “whole.”

I like to stand all by myself.

Even if it’s alone in a random corner with spiders.

Well, the spiders would probably get me to join the “group”…but only until said arachnids are disposed of by whatever method that is considered permanent and does not result in their offspring coming back for revenge.

So, beginning on the day I announce to you that my offspring will be populating this planet in a matter of months, I’d like to be called Bad Ass.

And today is NOT that day.

Though I still kinda like Bad Ass.

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31 Responses to “for all you dog lovers. or picture lovers. or those who like to peek in people’s windows.”


  1. 1 Nona October 20, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Aw, love photos of fur kids. Our puppy was teething this time last year and we only found one of his choppers on the floor. I figure he swallowed the rest.

    That probably didn’t help with your urge to hurl at the idea of teething, did it?

    And although I only had one child, I can tell you that occasionally kids *do* bite each other over things as insignificant as empty jars. Just sayin’.

  2. 2 CKHB October 20, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    But, can we call you a “puppy blogger” right now?

  3. 3 bookbabie October 20, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Dogs are like kids except they never grow up!

  4. 4 Alice in Wonderland October 20, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Guess that I must be a “Fur Blogger”, also! I have no kids, although I do read all the blogs, so I guess that I am well prepared if the time should ever come!
    I must admit though, I have never found a cat or dog tooth anywhere! Although I have just got two new kittens, and they are only 7 weeks old, so there is still time!
    Loved your photos! Your dogs are really beautiful, that is if you can call an animal “Beautiful”!!!
    New follower!

  5. 5 Spot October 20, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    I didn’t even know dogs lost teeth like that. Do cats do that? Because I have never ever found a cat tooth laying around my house or embedded in a toy. And cats hit, scratch, and bite each other over stupid stuff all the time. But they are still different then kids because if you shut them out of a room they just whine and scratch at the door instead of opening it and waltzing in when it is very obvious that I am busy commenting Booshy’s blog!!! Go away and stop reading over my shoulder!!!

    Sorry about that. But your dogs are very cute. And your stomach will totally get less queasy after you have kids. Seriously, it’s like a mommy super power. The ability to not gag over totally gross stuff that has to do with your kids. I could tell you about it but you’d gag. =]

    ♥Spot

  6. 6 Barista October 20, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    They’re so cute! I’m so glad you posted these

  7. 7 LB @Wait, She Said What? October 20, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    Pictures of the adorable dogs were awesome. Picture of the tooth in the toy was DISGUSTING! I so did not need to see that. At all. I even scrolled by really fast to avoid it but I STILL SAW THE TOOTH! EW!

  8. 8 Peggy Nolan October 20, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    I’m in love with your fur babies! They are gorgeous!

    (and I’ll never refer to you as a mommy blogger…I hated being called a soccer mom…so I totally get it!)

  9. 9 eatingmachine October 20, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    holy shit, dogs lose their teeth?
    (can you tell i’ve never had a puppy?)
    seriously, ick. i never want to find random TEETH laying around. wow.

  10. 10 Jaime October 20, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    My older sister will pull all my kids teeth out, and she’ll be happy to do it, too.

    I only lost one tooth naturally as a child. What happened to the rest? Sarah happened. When my kids complain about their loose teeth, I’ll ship them to Auntie Sarah’s house, and they’ll probably come home crying but toothless. And it will be glorious for me, because I CAN’T STAND the sight of blood.

  11. 11 Leese October 20, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Your dogs are gorgeous!

    Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy is particularly fond of Maddie (I think it’s her almost-no-not-really resemblance to Bella that has him crushing hard ) so would you mind if I printed it out and put it over his dog bed? LOL!!

    And now to completely gross you out (pay back for the mouse swarming in the walls, girlfriend!! LOL ) .. I’ve kept every dog tooth I ever found from all my dogs. When they pass and I have them cremated, I put them in the box with their asses.

    Yes, I’m fully aware that I need a life.. so if you know of one, give me a hollar!! LOL!

    PS – Don’t kid yourself (no pun intended) You’re going to be a great mom and I’m sure your blog posts about being pregnant and raising kids will be better then Dooce’s

  12. 12 carissajaded October 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    I think we should go ahead and call you badass.. And wowsa what pretty dogs you have!!

  13. 13 miss thystle October 20, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    I have dogs and a kid and let me just tell you dogs? Are more like husbands. They always want something and they make a big old mess and when you scold them they just look at you like you’re not even speaking English and then go back to scratching themselves.

    Which, I realize, also makes them pretty much like children. Except CHILDREN can be made to do chores!

  14. 14 Angelia October 20, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Look at Lexi!!! She got a little buddha belly! GAH! Are you feeding her growth hormones? Make it stop. They are sooo cuuuute! Love their bling.

    I freaked out when puppy Anna lost a tooth. I thought she was dying. I called my mom all scared. She just said, “Awww, she’s growing up.” I was pretty relieved.

  15. 15 morethananelectrician October 20, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    You could be a tooth-falling-out blogger. Ahhhh…kids are tough. If they want their teeth out they’ll come out. If they swallow them…they’ll find their way out the other side.

  16. 16 Pop and Ice October 20, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    Pets are in no way a prep for kids. Kids happen. And you roll with it. I never stressed too much about it one way or the other. Have kids, don’t have kids, have one kid, have three kids – whatever. I figured I could deal and so far I have. So will you.

  17. 17 Erin October 21, 2009 at 3:32 am

    That tooth – is that NORMAL? GROSS!! I love other people’s dogs but they’re way too much work for me to have one. I mean, the farts alone… let’s not even talk about baby poo.

  18. 18 Erin October 21, 2009 at 5:16 am

    That tooth – is that NORMAL? GROSS!! I love other people’s dogs but they’re way too much work for me to have one. I mean, the farts alone… let’s not even talk about baby poo.
    BTW I love your blog!

  19. 19 Cyndi October 21, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Pretty babies! My MIL still has the dog my husband grew up with (he’s like 130 in dog years) and he’s started losing his teeth. I was over there once when she found a tooth and she said “what the hell is that?” after picking it up and examining it and smelling it. I said “a dog tooth.” She nearly barfed right there!

    So far with my experience with kids, they are much easier to raise than German Shepherds. GSDs are like eternal 3 year olds – they know what you’re telling them to do. They just don’t give a damn AND THEN they have enough reasoning ability to get into things in new and interesting ways.

    I need to go examine my blog and see if I’ve become a mommy blogger. If so, I can at least prove that I’m “mom” to my 4 yo. He says “you’re not Mom, you’re Cyndi. Cyndi Cyndi Cyndi Cyndi. Your name is Cyndi.”

  20. 20 GroundSquirrel October 21, 2009 at 9:01 am

    I think parents who say dogs are like kids need to stop letting their kids eat the food scraps that fall on the fall.

    That said, I have compared my dog to a toddler I can leave alone all day.

  21. 21 GroundSquirrel October 21, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Floor. That fall on the floor.

    I am retarded.

  22. 22 mark price October 21, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    When we were little kids my cousin and I were biters. Mom said we would totally bite he crap out of each other and we turned out ok…well…never mind. Great looking dogs by the way. And grow up its a freakin tooth! just kidding!

  23. 23 Shelly October 21, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Love love love the puppy pics!!!

    I can’t remember ever finding puppy teeth as our dogs grew. Euw!

  24. 24 Cindy Lou October 21, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Hey Badass!

    Cute puppies! Usually when dogs lose their teeth (We have 4 and some days that’s just 4 too many!) they either swallow them or they’re lost outside….I’ve only ever found one. Through all my kids’ hurts and owies, nothing bothered me….except the sight of their loose teeth. Don’t know why – don’t care why…just glad to have someone else around who it didn’t bother! Yuck!

    Once again, you made me laugh out loud today…. 🙂

  25. 25 finn644 October 21, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    so cute! and at least with dogs you don’t have to worry about the tooth fairy!

  26. 26 ittybittycrazy October 21, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    Your furkids are adorable!

    Our chocolate lab puppy is 9 weeks old….

    http://www.ittybittycrazy.com/imported-data/2009/10/11/being-a-doggy-mama-puppy-girl-day-1.html

    And it IS the same being a doggy mama as being a baby mama.

    I am being woken up at all hours of the night, I have to get her out of her bed when she cries like a banshee, I am cleaning up pee and poop all over the house, I can’t go out and do anything, I’m exhausted… how is this different?

    Oh no. Wait.

    No college fund. No teenage girlfriend/boyfriend… No buying them a car.

    YAY!

  27. 27 lifestartsnow October 21, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    dogs lose teeth? yikes! i had no idea

    franzi

  28. 28 ToadMama October 21, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Remember, you can put your dog in a little cage (if you are so inclined) and do stuff like grocery shop, have dinner and drinks in a restaurant, nap, etc., ALONE. And no one would ever think you unusual. People don’t look kindly upon “crate training” for kids though. I don’t crate my dogs, but I could if I had to. That’s the point. Kids are WAY more high maintenance. And dogs are much more fun to come home to. Even if you do have to lock them up in a cage. (-:

  29. 29 Laoch October 21, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    What really fine canines!

  30. 30 Stone Fox October 21, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    when your kids are all, ‘MOOOOOOOMMM’ just pretend you don’t hear them. then when they finally track you down and Houdini the bathroom door lock to get in, just pretend you’re not home. i like to say, “Hey, this is Mom. I”m not home right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you. BEEEEEEP.” it confuses them for about .6 seconds. which, when you have kids, is like a fucking LIFETIME.

  31. 31 peedee October 22, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    The vet told me that you double a puppies weight when they are four months old to get their approx adult wieght. I’ll do the math for you….ummm 8+8=16 drop the 6 carry the 1, 3+3=6+1=76. Thats 76lbs. She’s gonna be a big girl. =)

    Love ur furbabies. They are snuggly, my number 1 requirement.


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