Though I’ve been wandering around for like, 26…almost 27 years…apparently I’m still clueless when it comes to dishwashers.
But, with the whole dishwasher thing…I mean, COME ON. Just because I put a bowl or a cup in the wrong direction or stuff three plates into the space made for just one doesn’t mean it won’t get cleaned.
It just means said utensils will get to enjoy the whole “washing” experience twice.
Or if we’re really having a bad day, three times. And when I say “we” I mean the dishes. It’s not my fault they don’t take some personal responsibility and rearrange themselves during the whole washing process to make sure they get all nice and shiny. I mean, the door LOCKS…it’s not like I can jump in to help you out and rinse off your backside.
I just had to give up on a spoon with an unidentified piece of food that was completely plastered to the “spoon” part. Had it been on the handle…wouldn’t have been such a big deal…but after seven runs, it still didn’t come off. Actually, I think it got worse…all that super-heating and then cooling caused the food bits to be hermetically sealed to the spoon.
Tim just informed me that is scientifically impossible for that to happen. Whatever. The point is – it wasn’t coming off so I wasn’t going to use it.
That’s my relationship with the dishes.
Dishwashers were invented so I don’t have to clean them.
And if they – the dishes – don’t want to work with that, then they’ll just have to sit in there forever. No skin off my back. There are PLENTY of other plates who come out nice and sparkly and I’m more than obliged to use the one’s who aren’t high maintenance all “I need special, hand washing.”
So, today is rainy…and cold. We expected the cold but nowhere did the rain get forecasted. So instead of our “plan” – which was to go run around Stone Mountain, we’re playing Home Improvement.
So far, We’ve been to Lowe’s THREE TIMES and Home Depot once because one place didn’t have exactly what we wanted and then other didn’t have ANY of what we wanted so we had to go BACK to the other place to “make do” with what they had…and between all that, a trip back to the house because we forgot a PAINT CHIP to try to have the paint people match our wall color. Actually, we went to Lowe’s yesterday, too. So, technically, I’ve seen the inside of that building four times in less than 12 hours.
All for toilet seats.
That’s where this run-around started.
Damn toilet seats.
Today, we had to go back to get matchy handle-flusher things because the attachment things to keep the seat on the toilet were a different color than the flushy handle thing. I have no idea what the technical term is for a flusher thing…and when I don’t know the word, the function it performs automatically becomes its name.
Like the squeegy thingy.
Or the rinser.
Or the thing that does the thing that makes it go in circles.
Tim has figured out most of what I’m talking about – but sometimes, like that last one, he just looks at me all, “What the hell, woman? The thing that goes in CIRCLES?”
Me: Nooo! The thing that MAKES the thing go in circles.
Tim: A little context here…that’d be, you know, slightly helpful.
Me: Umm…you know, we saw it on TV.
Tim: That isn’t helping.
Me: I don’t remember…something about trains and then there was this little guy with a hat explaining something with the wheels and circles…
Tim: Was I even HOME when you were watching this?
Me: I don’t think so.
Tim: Then HOW is your description of a guy with a hat SUPPOSED TO HELP?
Me: It was on the History Channel…I thought maybe you’d seen it and would remember him…he was really short and wore these funny looking suspenders…do people actually still wear suspenders?
Tim: Are you asking me about the circles or are you just going off on a tangent?
Tim: Go look it up. The thing that makes the thing go in circles. Type that in. I’m sure google will give you HOURS of answers.
Me: …but, the suspenders?
Me: I didn’t marry you to be pawned off to google.
Tim: google is what keeps this marriage from going insane.
Me: I think you mean you…from keeping you from going insane.
I never could find OR remember that circle thing…and I probably won’t…which is slightly disappointing…though I never much cared about trains, anyway. I DID learn, however, after ransacking the closet, that Tim doesn’t have any suspenders. As for what that means…I have not a fucking clue. I just thought you’d like to know.