why i started this. why i keep going.

I’m not sure, exactly, what it is…but I’ll chalk it up to having a sentimental moment. Maybe I should keep those kinds of things to myself…and I usually do…but this one I felt I should share…

And if this is your first time reading my blog…I’m not usually like this. I’m actually overly sarcastic and brutally honest…like this. Or this. Or this. So, if you want a good cross-section of who I am…read those…skip this and come back tomorrow…just sayin. Oh, and sometimes I say fuck.

Of the blogs and comments I’ve read lately…there is only one sentence that I keep coming back to, over and over:

Holy shit…I had no idea.

I realize that a blog serves a special and unique purpose for every individual who takes a few moments each day to write…some an outlet…others information…and to a few, a place to go to heal.

Most of what I write comes across as sunshine and rainbows and happy go lucky dancing unicorns and fairies, even when I’m getting shitballs thrown at me. And in all honesty, that wasn’t why I started a blog.

What I mean is, I didn’t start a blog to talk about shitballs.

I started a blog just to see what would happen…to see who was out there and if anyone really gave a damn about what I had to say.

In the beginning…in the wee early stages of this blog…I began to think I was right…nobody gave a damn.

But…over the past few months, you have shown me that I was wrong. That the answer is yes, you do care…you care more than I ever, in my wildest dreams, thought possible. You give me purpose to what I do…all the way down to the days I sometimes agonize over what I’m writing all, “Is this good enough?”

I’ve also learned that I’ve given someone a chuckle on a bad day…or a tiny giggle when they thought the ability to laugh had left them long ago…a place to go for even a few moments separation from whatever hell they may currently be experiencing…or living.

Life never seems fair. We always want more…or think someone has it so much better…or feel like some people were just handed a pass to easy street.

And as I’ve been reading your stories…your life…your day-to-day struggles that may sometimes make you ask yourself, “Why do I continue to fight?”  I realize that I should be grateful. I should stop for a damn second…because I am in awe of you…of how you still stand tall even with the cards you were dealt…with what hurt or pain, frustration or heartache you live with EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

And you still manage to find the good…the small things to be thankful for.

It makes me feel ashamed to even THINK about complaining about tiny, little, minute irritations.

Because on top of all that, on top of reading all of your words where the raw emotion bleeds through…I never imagined my words…my “bitching”…would make someone halfway across the globe smile…or my all-out rant on mundane chores would let someone else know that they’re not alone in their frustrations…or to have someone tell me, “thank you…I needed that today.”

So I keep writing.

Because I never know who it will impact…or who may really need to hear that they are not the only person who wants to take a blow-torch to their kitchen.

But, I never knew how much of an influence you would have on my life.

It was something I didn’t see coming…how thankful you would make me feel for the life I have been blessed with…

And I am forever indebted to you for that.


18 Responses to “why i started this. why i keep going.”

  1. 1 Jess October 12, 2009 at 8:22 am

    I sat down last week and read a shitton of your posts after you left a comment on one of mine. I really enjoyed what I read and I’m glad you stumbled across my blog or I would have missed out on your awesomesauce.

  2. 2 Shannon October 12, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Thanks for sticking around!

  3. 3 Heather October 12, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    It’s funny that you mention your reasons for starting your blog and why you keep going. I started mine to make me draw every day. It was to give me focus and discipline. I no longer need that discipline, so now it’s about writing for those who visit my site, which is kind of strange. I think I write absolute rubbish and wonder whether it is of interest to anyone, just like you do. I have never kept a diary because I’m quite a private person, but I must admit it’s nice to write for other people and it is they who keep me going with it. I don’t have lots of visitors. Maybe 20 to 30 a day, with about 80 page views per day, but I started with nothing, so I am grateful that people are prepared to take the time to stop by.

    On another note, we all have days when we feel like shit, and want to sound off and most of us realise that there are people worse off than us, but we are still allowed to moan. We’re only human after all! I love your blog. It makes me laugh, and I like the frenetic pace of your writing, so keep it up…for us, please.

  4. 4 Mindy@thesuburbanlife October 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    I love reading your blog because you and I view life in a very similar way. I always appreciate knowing there are others out there like me…makes me feel less alien-like. =) I know what you mean, though. I blog about my life, my kids, the things I don’t understand, the things that humor me and the things that plain piss me off. My entire being is in my blogs and it’s kind of scary to open myself up like that…but it’s also therapeutic. (Whoa…that was way too deep for me.) I have definitely been inspired by what you write and your honest, take-it-or-leave-it approach. Thanks for giving me something to read and inspiration to write! =)

  5. 5 Jess October 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    I am so happy you wrote this post.

    When I started blogging it was pretty much to keep the family that’s strewn across the country in touch with what was going on with the first baby on both sides. Then, I transitioned everything to me. Because I’m SELFISH like that. 🙂 The support system I’ve obtained that I didn’t know even existed for the crazy bitches of the world was awesome.

    I read you because you’re curt and to the point. Sugar coating belongs on donuts, not on the truth.

    xo to you because you’re super!

  6. 6 Lori October 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    I think about this sort of stuff often and I constantly debate keeping up my blog. I think you nailed it in this post though. The community that gets built is hard to let go of in the end. It broadens my perspective that I fear what would happen if I stopped blogging and fell into my own vacuum of a head! The horrors! And believe it or not, people do want to read about someone else’s funny thing exactly when they are down and struggling. It helps. Your laughter is medicine for many, including me. {Not that I am down or struggling or anything because I always have my shit together and am basically wonder woman} (I also say shit sometimes).

  7. 7 mark price October 12, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Wow, “sniffle” That was beautiful! Just kidding! I think it is cool that you give us our daily giggles through the realization that everybody’s life is crap from time to time. It’s also cool that you have the presence of mind to realize that we all seem to sometimes lean on one another in this blog-world. Keep giving us our smiles when we need them and even when we don’t. Keep encouraging us new bloggers by visiting and commenting on our silly posts. As a new blogger I can tell you it means a lot to have someone with your gift of the printed word tell us we are doing good things. And stop wondering if what you’re writing is good enough…it is!

  8. 8 fattiefatterton October 12, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    I love your blog. I had no idea that you would be writing a “very special post” today. You need theme music and everything!!

  9. 9 fattiefatterton October 12, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Ooops, Fattie Fatterton is me – Lawgirl!!

  10. 10 Muhajira October 12, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Hey- I, for one, am glad you started this. Your blog has a different taste to it, makes a little bit more unique 😉
    Keep blogging!

  11. 11 Leese October 12, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    First.. I love reading your blog. It makes me laugh because I’m always OMG.. SOMEBODY ELSE THINKS LIKE ME!! So yea.. keep going..

    Now, why do I write a blog? Well.. come on.. with a junkie drug dealing step son, a narcissistic crack whore ex-wife ( his, not mine!! LOL ), two lazy do-nothing OTHER step sons, two dogs, one kitten, a bunch of fish and now mice in our house… how could I NOT write a blog???

    Not to mention MY satanic ex-husband and wacky family, come on!

    But seriously.. it’s my outlet.. it gives me a place to voice my opinions and my emotions and to have some one looking through the window tell me I’m wrong if I am.

    I’ve met some pretty incredible people that have really become close friends off the internet.

    What more can you ask for?

    Save those orchids!!!

    ~ Leese

  12. 12 Angelia October 12, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    I know you put a lot of work into this blog. Hard work. Not just for yourself but to entertain us. Flat out, I want you to know how much I appreciate your sparkle and amusement. EVERY DAY. Good, bad, funny, appreciate, sad or glad – what you say makes ripples. Thank YOU, for putting yourself and your personality out there for us to read. Now, I don’t normally cuss, but get your F^&(*& A$$ back to being sarcastic and funny! DAMN. 😉

  13. 13 M October 12, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    I’ve been reading through your blogs and boy are they entertaining. I love your writing style! So, I definitely think you should keep up with it.

    Thanks for posting on my blog- I just started and don’t know the first thing about getting a blog off the ground, especially since I’d like to stay anonymous. 🙂 I’ll be back to read your future thoughts.

  14. 14 peedee October 12, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    You do make me smile. and laugh. and shake my head and wonder how the hell does she write like this! okay, I’m a jealous bitch. lol j/k

    So in summary, I dig your style, I love your dogs, your man is pretty allright too. Keep it up!!

  15. 15 morethananelectrician October 12, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Happy or sad…we are all real people with real stories and real issues. I also enjoy making others laugh…but some days that just isn’t possible. I have found people out here to draw strength and courage from almost every day…

  16. 16 PottyMouthMommy October 12, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    Never feel bad about bitching about little stuff! It’s all subjective- what sucks for you still SUCKS – no matter if someone else DOES have a metric shit-tonne of suck!!

    I love reading about you- you and your husband could be me and mine!! I love that we have lots in common- and you make me laugh. I even like reading this post, because somehow you make it feel like it could have been written to me… which really, is what this is about isn’t it?? Finding like minds who care.

    I care- and I’ll keep reading!

  17. 17 Alice in Wonderland October 13, 2009 at 8:30 am

    I’ve forgotten why I started to write a blog! I write a diary every night, but that is personal, but here I can write just about anything and everything, and know that whatever I have been through, someone else has or is going through it too. If you go back right to the very beginning of when I started writing, it was just a joke a day. Now I have built up a following that I am comfortable, it’s as if you are all my friends. I would miss blogging terribly if I should stop. I feel personally involved with everyone and I have made so many friends, both by blogging and e-mail. Everyday I try to write to everyone, and I really enjoy being a small part of someone else’s life, and if I can make someone smile and brighten up their day, then I am happy.I know that I will never get to meet all these people, but hey, I’m not here for that! But complete strangers have always been so nice…even if they don’t reply!
    I’ll keep on blogging, and I treat everyone the same! Even though I don’t get many readers and I should make more of an effort to comment on other blogs, I’m happy that you are all there, somewhere, to keep me going!
    Big Hugs!

  18. 18 jodiq October 14, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    Beautiful. Thanks for giving us reasons to smile…smiles are priceless and we all need them…

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