i don’t have a title…because i don’t “technically” think i have a point.

I’m in a question kind of mood…since I answered all those probing demands yesterday

Plus, I’m feeling slightly out-of-focus today…no, more like, there is no focus. Just a big blur with ten million things going on, so I can’t really make out anything…other than the damn blur.

I’ve been thinking, my bloggie people, thinking quite heavily, actually…which tends to result in random ass questions…and instead of subjecting Tim to them, I’m taking it out on you.

I know. “Dammit, what in the hell did I DO?”…is what you’re thinking.

Blame it on my paranoia from those stupid ass questions…especially after that comment about people following me…cause now I’m certain someone is watching with a scope from ten miles away on top of a mountain that doesn’t exist…logging all my little nuances.

Maybe it’s time for security detail…or an electric, barbed wire fence…though that second option isn’t exactly aesthetically pleasing (and I want you to know I spelled “aesthetically” correctly on my first attempt without using spell check…cause that’s like, a big word. I know. I’m awesome at spelling).

Anyway, my questions to you…why did you start your blog?…And is it everything you thought it would be?

See, I have this giant problem that results in me having no friends…which, I’ve totally accepted. I get it. I’m a bitchy, pain in the ass.

Otherwise known as an over-achiever-anal-retentive-perfectionist.

With extraordinairly high expectations.

I think sometimes people think they’re too high…but I don’t think they’re high ENOUGH.

The problem is…I have zero patience…so laying down the foundation and WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN is like asking me to rip off all my extremities, one by one, and then reattach them with a needle and thread.

Actually, no, that’d probably be faster than all this waiting.

And I don’t even fucking know how to sew.

The only reason this hasn’t ended yet is because I’m hiding from the lawn people.

Because there are currently fifty piles of water-logged dog shit in the yard that they are going to have to mow over.

Come to think of it, I’m still pissed at them because they mowed over my little blackberry farm.

So, maybe they deserve all the shit.

Either way, I’m afraid to leave because I know the lawn people will see me and then throw it at me.

I think I just heard a piece of shit hit the side of the house.

That wasn’t very nice.


42 Responses to “i don’t have a title…because i don’t “technically” think i have a point.”

  1. 1 Daphne October 9, 2009 at 10:37 am

    That wasn’t actually very many questions, Jessica, especially after all the ones you answered in your last post.

    To answer the two you asked, I started my blog to have somewhere to anonymously share the things that are going on in my life since Donald and I moved in with his parents due to his unemployment and depression. It has turned into a lot more than that now that I have found supportive readers/commenters and now that I have started reading a lot of blogs about self-improvement. My blog has turned into a writing space for my thoughts on my progress, my challenges, my feelings, my goals.

    It’s a space for me and sometimes people visit. I’m excited to see it evolve as we go.

    • 2 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 7:39 pm

      Daphne: I almost feel like I need an entire email to respond to you…first: good for you, giving yourself an outlet. I can understand why you want to remain “secret” – as I am sure you and Donald are experiencing so many challenges…though at least you have each other. I’m actually at a loss…because to be honest, I had no idea…and if you ever need anything – let me know.

  2. 3 Lori October 9, 2009 at 10:38 am

    LOL! I started my blog when my daughter was born for the obvious reasons of posting pictures, sharing tid bits with my family and friends. It moved into more of a diary shared with other bloggers more than my family and friends. I am constantly reconsidering it on a monthly basis, of whether or not to keep it up or just tear it down. And yet, each month I find myself still there. So, to answer your question, yes and no. It’s not what I expected it to be, but in many ways it is and even better.

    P.S. Patience is not one of my virtues either so I totally get it.

    • 4 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 7:36 pm

      Lori: I WISH I had a good answer like that…a solid, grounded reason that morphed into something even better…

      So glad someone is with me on the whole patience thing…

  3. 5 Carissajaded. October 9, 2009 at 10:52 am

    To answer your question about why start a blog? I did it mostly because I was feeling sort of lost. My job doesn’t really provide an outlet for creativity, and I felt like I wasn’t doing anything for myself! I’m enjoying it, but have discovered if I want to keep it up to my expectations, it is a lot more work than I thought it would be. Which is ok, since I do have a lot of extra time to spare…

  4. 7 Spot October 9, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Well first I got confused because I missed yesterday’s blog so I had to go back and read it and wow. It was too much for me because I’m sick and slightly foggy anyway so I came back to this one…

    I started one of my blogs as a way to keep up with my sister because I realized that our emails were funny and my friends always wanted to read them. That one has turned out the way I planned mostly. I wish my sister was a little better about keeping up.

    The book one is because people were always asking me for suggestions on what to read (because I worked in a bookstore and read voraciously) so it gives us a place to do reviews.

    And my favorite blog? Well I started it during a rough time to let out some feelings. And well, it just kind of went from there. I would like to have more of a following but I’m pretty happy with it.


    • 8 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 7:34 pm

      Spot: first, totally forgot to thank you for that Suburban Housewife video…made my day. Second: I know I’m not THAT hard to follow…not even the paranoid side…and third: you have 3 blogs? That’s too much pressure….

  5. 9 Linnnn October 9, 2009 at 11:12 am

    Taking a wrecking ball to the hell-spawn igneous monolith of a 4 year long perniciously evil writer’s block was the first reason. And, attached like a sucking lamprey to that, the need to drive a stake through the heart of the parasitic oppression (read Douchebag) who once called my writing fluffy, frivolous and not significant. Second: To supplant the Dreaded Annual Holiday Letter which never manifested until Groundhog Day after several rounds of excruciating self-inflicted guilt. Well, the gaining of jiggling holiday poundage was in there too. “It” (my blog) is more than what I expected, however. It seems to be saving my heretofore sucker-punched, lost and wandering soul. And even though AdSense banned me for innocently checking out every one of the ads with which they initially festooned my blog like some vomitous pinata,(no clickeee no clickeee) I am not writing for money (yet), I am writing for love.

    • 10 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 7:32 pm

      Linnnn: I think you win the prize for the most 25 cent words in a single comment…and I never thought of a blog as a savior…maybe mine is that, too? I really haven’t quite figured it out yet…And your writing…definitely not “fluffy.”

  6. 11 Stephanie October 9, 2009 at 11:16 am

    They mowed over your blackberries!? They deserve the dog poo and more!

    Anywho, as for your questions, I started my blog because I’ve always been a chronicler. As long as I can remember I’ve kept a journal or diary and it was just logical to make the jump to the interwebs when I discovered the wonderful world of blogging… I actually started with an angelfire page that I would have to update the HTML to add blog posts, then xanga, now wordpress.

    I really didn’t have any expectations going in, but now that I see my traffic is way less than some people, I get annoyed. But what can you do? It’s just my rant and rave page anyway.

    • 12 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 7:29 pm

      Stephanie: I think it’s good to have one of those…a place where you can just go off the deep end and no one gets hurt…

      And yes, I was totally sad when they did that…took away my afternoon snack…

  7. 13 WebSavyMom October 9, 2009 at 11:20 am

    –>I started my blog initially to share pictures and stories of my then 18 month year old. Since then I’ve expanded to tell stories and share pictures of everyone I spend time with week to week. I had no idea the network of blogs out there simliar to mine and some that are just the opposite but still interesting.
    I would change a lot of things if I were to start over today.


  8. 15 maureenlynn October 9, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Hmm, I think I started up my blog so that I could keep my friends from afar informed of what was going on in my life without sending a whole bunch of mass emails, which would be annoying. But I don’t really think a lot of my real life friends actually read my blog on a regular basis, so I suppose it’s not how I thought it would be. At the time, I had just finished school and didn’t know what I’d be doing next so I just decided I’d travel the world. This did not happen, exactly. Instead I traveled to New Mexico and have been here ever since.

    So, then, why did you start your blog?

  9. 17 Jenera October 9, 2009 at 11:42 am

    I don’t remember why I started a blog. It seems like a friend had one so I thought what the hell, I could it too. It’s morphed into something that I had no idea would have happened. Hell, I didn’t think I’d still have one three years later.

    And I don’t pick up poop in the yard for the yard guy because he weed eated too close to my garden earlier in the summer so he can kiss my butt.

  10. 19 Breeza October 9, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Move to WA and we can be friends 🙂
    I started my blog because it seemed all I did was read others and I wanted my own space to say what I wanted to. And since hardly anyone reads it, it’s still great to have!

  11. 21 Mark October 9, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    I find you refreshingly irritable. I can’t remember what this post was about cause I went all down the page reading past posts for like an hour now. I’m fairly certain it was funny though so I will be back again. Bravo!!

    • 22 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 4:20 pm

      Mark: I think this is where I’m supposed to say thanks?…I could be totally offbase, though ande totally jumping on the self-bashing wagon…hell if I know…but either way, glad you spent an hour getting irritated. That always makes my day…hearing that…someone getting all pissy…

      I’m rambling, aren’t I?….

  12. 23 peedee October 9, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    I started my blog just for an outlet of thoughts, feelings, rants, loves, funnyness, sillyness, to talk about my kid, my dogs and my family. I really wanted NO ONE I knew reading it, but I decided to let my brother in on the “secret”. It keeps you honest if someone who knows you reads it. Not that I’m a liar, but I could embelish shit really easy if not reigned in.

    Now the cats outta the bag. My sister got a blog and because I commented on hers, she knows about it and people I know are showing up in my site meter. I kinda wanted it all to myself. But its ok. It is what it is. I have no direction, no creative writing skillz, just whats eatin at me that day.

    I’m definately jealous of some of you. You have amazing writing skills and I wish I could write like that. I think like that, but I just cant get it out on paper (screen) like that.

    • 24 Jessica October 9, 2009 at 7:24 pm

      peedee: you’ve got your own style…don’t ever lose that. You may like how others write…but if you wrote like them…then you’d lose your charming, orange snoball self 🙂

  13. 25 Mark October 9, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    Perhaps I misspoke,miswrote? in any case I’m not irritated I’m entertained. I thought you were sounding a little irritated from time to time which I find refreshing. Sorry if you thought I was bashing you, quite the opposite.

  14. 27 Linnnn October 9, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    “Anyway, my questions to you…why did you start your blog?…And is it everything you thought it would be?”

    Back atcha, sistah. ‘Fess up…

    • 28 Jessica October 10, 2009 at 6:50 pm

      Linnnn: I’m still trying to decide how to answer this….

      And, I don’t think you’re totally crazy…I’m sure you’re awesome, as long as “he who shall not be named” isn’t brought up 🙂

  15. 29 misscaron October 9, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    WOW. I can’t compete. I started as a copy-cat of my cousin who lived in London, then Paris, now Basel … and he uses it as a way to keep up with friends and family. I thought that was what I wanted to do but then I really enjoyed the fact that random people from no where I’ve ever been have visited and commented and that makes you feel pretty good, right!?! I’m an ENFJ … what can I say … I live for PEOPLE (and their approval). There I’ve said it! Okay, I can get back to that bottle of wine I was drinking.

    P.S. you’re hilarious. at least you have that going for you! 😉

    • 30 Jessica October 10, 2009 at 7:02 pm

      misscaron: first, thank you! Second: I hate people. Well, no, that’s not true. I don’t hate people…I hate crowds and noise…my peace comes from alone time 🙂

      can you pass the wine, now? 🙂

  16. 31 Angelia October 9, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    I started my blog because I was PISSED. I never get pissed. I am one of the nicest people in the world and have patience to infinity. But being called a dog murderer and child stealer? Well, I HAD to respond. I don’t know if my boyfriend’s ex wife reads my blog,(I really think she does, cause I read hers, and I always tag Jason in notes on Facebook where her sisters spy on him, since they are Facebook friends, Heh) if she does then I have my revenge. Passive aggressively. 😀 If not, I am SO glad I started one. I feel like I found home. I found a missing piece of my self and I LOVE connecting with other bloggers and people. I learn so much from them.

  17. 33 Stone Fox October 10, 2009 at 2:40 am

    i started my blog so i could innocently follow “someone” and learn enough about her to sit on top of a mountain 10 miles from her house and watch her through my scope.


    my therapist told me to start a journal to help me grieve my mom’s death. around the same time, i heard about mckmama and started reading her blog; i thought blogging was a really cool way to track my life and also write about Feelings N Stuff.

    • 34 Jessica October 10, 2009 at 6:58 pm

      Stone Fox: dammit! I’m seriously going to start closing the blinds…keep all you peeping toms…or tomettes out. 🙂

      and I think your therapist had an excellent suggestion. I think it’s why writing is so dear to me, as I found it as an outlet after my brother died (that whole story is in the post where I answered questions people asked me…)

  18. 35 Linnnn October 10, 2009 at 5:26 am

    Apologies to all for the underlying psycho bitterness, and all the labored word slinging, in my comment. I am really pretty easy going!

  19. 36 maureenlynn October 10, 2009 at 9:05 am

    I didn’t travel because I got a job, and New Mexico was as far as I got, although I think that’s pretty far. I still do want to travel someday, and I think I will.

  20. 37 Liz October 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    I started my blog just for me.

    And then people started reading the bloody thing and stopping me in the street [it’s a small rural town in ireland – 1 main street … not NYC!]…and then they sent it to their friends and family and small children yell out ‘LizBiz’ as I walk my dog Coco.

    If I don’t write in it for a few weeks my dad rings to ask if I’m ok … and I haven’t written anything in it for 4 weeks because i’ve been busy playing on twitter and facebook and mafia wars [current body count 11 and I only started today … and they say women are all sweet …hell no].

    And I’m trying to develop 3 new businesses as my consultancy hasn’t had a contract since march … and genteel poverty is a nice place to visit but it doesn’t feed the dog.

    Sorry …what was your question Jessica?

    Oh yeh …blogging.

    In all the fab poverty, my blog has given me a space to write about how I’m feeling and what I’m doing to get fuel and food …and the 6th food group – wine.

    I’ve learnt how to barter [got massages and bags of coal and dinners in exchange for me setting up blogs for local businesses and artists] …and ask for help … and negotiate with banks [I’ve found the blood out of a stone argument works every time].

    I’ve made some fab blogger friends and we support each other all the time.

    I’ll end this lobbly [yes …it is a real word if even 1 person beleives in it!] post by saying how much I enjoy reading your posts Jessica …you are a very very funny [haha … not strange] writer and I always look forward to every new post.



    • 38 Jessica October 10, 2009 at 7:11 pm

      Liz: wow…sounds like you got the awesome end of the blogging deal…it’s hard to make your mark, so to speak, in such a huge city, like where I live…but you’re well on you’re way, it seems…and I’m definitely glad you stop by over here…all the way across the pond! That is amazing to me…the distance…

  21. 39 Cindy Lou October 10, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    I agree w/ PeeDee – don’t have a blog yet but have been thinking of one. I think great, dee, rambling, bitchy thoughts – they tend to run the gamut – but can’t get them out on paper like some of you.

    Not even sure how I found your blog, Jessica, but it gives me a kick when I read it. Some of the other ones I read are great, but pretty ‘nicey-nicey’ and philosophical in a wise way. Yours is philosophical in a kickass< fun way and I like the balance that gives me.

    • 40 Jessica October 10, 2009 at 6:54 pm

      Cindy Lou: first…the comment about your birthday…and namesake…too funny. Second – I have no idea how you found me, either, but I’m definitely glad you did. I’m all for life lessons…I just don’t do the cushy stuff so well…. 😉

  22. 41 Liz October 12, 2009 at 2:25 am

    Come visit sometime. Ireland is a great place. A lot of my blogger friends are Americans living all over your amazing country.

    That’s the v.cool thing about blogging … you meet people you might never come across in real life.

    2 bloggers who are now best friends were American writers living for a while in Spain. They wanted to come and spend some time in rural Ireland to write and found my blog.

    Lynda left a comment about maybe moving to Ballinamore [Co. Leitrim] and we started emailing. I ended up finding them a cottage 2 doors up from me on the Main Street and her and Derek and myself became fast friends.

    They moved back to Georgia early this year and I miss them heaps but we now have a friendship for the ages. And… every few months we set up a time on a Friday … turn on Skype vid … fill our glasses … and have a 3 hour cocktail party and catch up across 2 continents.

    Jessica …I have a feeling that your blog makes a real mark in people’s lives … as you do in real life.

    I for one am a new but devoted fan.

    Have a great week.



  23. 42 Shannon October 12, 2009 at 10:08 am

    I’m a little slow commenting but at least I get there. Started mine for te obvious, had to get my feelings out somewhere and they always say keeping a journal or whatever helps. It is now beyond my expectations. I didn’t understand the community behind it and it helps so much. I’ve gained a lot from it and it has been a perfect outlet.
    I too struggle in the friends department. I can be a bit of a bitch and bossy. Those long days at home can stretch even longer when you are feeling a bit alone. I don’t do well with the whole fake girl lets be friends thing. You are either in or out with me and most seem to be out. Perhaps that is something I should work on but I think my plate is full enough right now so I’ll stick to the friends I have!

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