i got an award? no, an award is a medal. this is nothing like a medal.

Yea…I was shocked, too. What the hell kind of award requires WORK?

This one. This meme award.

Thanks, Potty Mouth Mama. You’ve added more shit to my “to do” list.

But, since I’m usually a nice person, I’ll play along…but don’t go sending me loads of answer a million question awards…or I’ll go on strike.

What else could you POSSIBLY WANT TO KNOW?

Well, I guess…I don’t think I should ask that…I’m retracting the above statement.

Here are the “original” rules…but I’m just going to tell you I’ll be cheating…because it is impossible for me to follow rule # 1.

And, yes, I am aware that the spacing is all wacky…thank WordPress. I tried to fix it. It said no. So, I stopped trying.

And, for the lucky six (see rule # 2)…YES. IT IS MANDATORY.

Or else…well, you suck. I’m not going to go down alone…no…there will be co-conspirators.

Rules (that I am not following) 
1. You Can Only Use One Word! (Two words: NOT. HAPPENING.)
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers (how about…six who will actually play along?)
3. Alert them that you have given them this award! (I WILL! Damn, do you have to like, yell at me?)
4. Have Fun! (…I have no comment for this one. That’s like telling me to enjoy a colonoscopy)

The Fun Part (no, actually, this is the creepy part).

1. Where is your cell phone?  Surgically attached to my forearm.

2. Your hair?  What about it? Is there something wrong with it? What “hair” are you referencing, exactly?…

3. Your mother? Created me. Yes, excellent observation.
4. Your father? I’m pretty sure he was also involved in the whole conception activity.
5. Your favorite food? Salad. I’m a rabbit. And cookies. They’re in the same food group: Shit I like to eat.
6. Your dream last night? I don’t remember…but I’ve had recurring dreams about tornadoes and dinosaurs…
7. Your favorite drink? Alcoholic? Anything fruity. Non-alcoholic? Chocolate milk.
8. Your dream/goal?  Someone paying me to write what you’re currently reading.
9. What room are you in? A hot one.
10. Your hobby? Answering stupid ass questions…and dressing up like a clown.
11. Your fear? An unanswered question? And spiders.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Anywhere but Georgia. Actually, no. Not anywhere… I also don’t want to be in Florida…or Texas…or anywhere else excessively HOT…like the desert…or inside a volcano.
13. Where were you last night? Why the hell do you wanna know?

14. Something that you aren’t?  A frog.
15. Muffins? I don’t have any. Sorry. The “rules” didn’t say anything about baking anything. And I don’t cook…so I guess you’re up shit’s creek…without a muffin.
16. Wish list item? How are you going to put “list” and “item” into the same question? “List” implies MULTIPLE ITEMS.
17. Where did you grow up? Earth. Unless you count those five years I can’t remember…then, it could be like, Earth AND an alien spaceship.
18. Last thing you did? Ummm…I peed? That’s an action verb, right?
19. What are you wearing? The hell?…
20. Your TV? Is in the off position. I don’t waste electricity.
21. Your pets?  They’re furry.

22. Friends? Mostly like, the virtual kind.
23. Your life? It’s just peachy…

I’m starting to get the feeling these questions are probing for like, secret information…for blackmail or extortion…or a massive, intricate plan to expose me…

24. Your mood? Freaked out…utterly paranoid that you’re compiling information to use against me. It’s a plot. I know it. I can see through your little two word, open ended “questions.”

25. Missing someone? I don’t know, AM I? WHO THE HELL DID YOU JUST SHOVE IN YOUR TRUNK?
26. Vehicle? What the fuck? Am I supposed to guess what you’re driving? Monte Carlo!…they have big trunks…or maybe an Oldsmobile…I think they make the back end of those cars heavier on purpose…to avoid any unnecessary suspicion…
27. Something you’re not wearing? A bra. I hate bras. I have no boobies…at least, not enough booby to require a holster…so to me they’re just uncomfortable pieces of wire and fabric that itch.
28. Your favorite store? Why? So you can try to find me? I like crowded places. Like Wal-Mart (actually, that’s total bullshit. I hate Wal-Mart).
29. Your favorite color? Pink. I think that’s a safe answer. Lots of girls like pink.
30. When was the last time you laughed? A real laugh? Or the giddy one I just had after answering question # 33? I’m not answering your questions in ORDER. I’m answer them when I feel like it.
31. Last time you cried? When I realized you shoved someone in the trunk. That really was mean, you know. You should let them out.
32. Your best friend? My husband. Cliché…and I don’t give a damn.
33. One place that I go to over and over? I don’t have a fucking clue. Enlighten me. Japan? The bottom of the ocean? The little store that sells magic beans and unicorns and that sparkly pixie dust?

34. One person who emails me regularly? The husband.
35. Favorite place to eat? Far, far away from you and your questions. Am I finished? Damn…

As for my “six” …we’ll be in touch, ladies.

You’ll know who you are.


20 Responses to “i got an award? no, an award is a medal. this is nothing like a medal.”

  1. 1 PottyMouthMommy October 8, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    roflmao… “they’re in the same food group: shit I like to eat”

    omg… hilarious… gawd did I ever pick the right people for THIS!!! bwhahahahaahahahahahahahah

  2. 2 Carissajaded. October 8, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    I love that you don’t answer in order. And bras are the worst invention ever! Except to everyone else who has to see me of course.. and now I really want chocolate milk!

  3. 3 Stephanie October 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Lol! I love the paranoia creeping in as you progress! 😀

  4. 4 lifestartsnow October 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    i like your food groups! makes life a lot easier. i’m sure there’s also one called “shit tim loves to eat and i don’t dare to touch” – let us know what’s in that group!


  5. 5 LB @Wait, She Said What? October 8, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Perhaps this is more of a punishment then an award. Yes, that’s exactly it. I just don’t quite get why.

    Your answers were hilarious though so in then end, you win.

  6. 6 deb October 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    Oh yeah. A punishment for sure. Funny shit though!
    And just because your paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t following you.

  7. 7 Allie October 8, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    Don’t you just LOVE memes? I was tagged in one a few days ago, and, like you, I broke the rules (there really was only one rule…well, two – but I guess I broke the second rule also…)

    You did the hell out of this meme, though. I like it better your way!

    I love how you just gets more and more paranoid as you go on. You start out kind of creeped out — just a little — and then by the end you are hysterical. Love it!

  8. 8 Heather October 8, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    Hahaha. I hate these bloody things. They’re peppered all over Facebook and Bebo. It’s just another way to gather as much info about you as possible. I answer them in exactly the manner you have, giving absolutely nothing away about myself. Stupid fucking things. Just as stupid as the people that give their personal info!

  9. 9 Amanda October 8, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    I like that you don’t follow rules. Neither do I.

    You’re really funny by the way…

  10. 10 maureenlynn October 8, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    Good answers. You should get an award for that!

  11. 11 peedee October 8, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    You should be writing for a living. Just sayin.

    and peed is an action verb. 😉

  12. 12 Shannon October 8, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    I just stood in the living room a mere few hours ago as Dustin once again asked why I can’t just put a bra on. Why? Im not expecting my boobs to grow today. They aren’t bouncing anywhere. And I’m much more comfortable without one.Also, I HATE Wal-Mart. With a passion.

  13. 13 submom October 9, 2009 at 12:38 am

    I feel totally cheated. So is there an award or not? Where is the award? Are you pulling my leg? Did you just make me read one of the those Facebook tag/test thing? Ouch, my eyes my eyes. I hate those Facebook things.

  14. 14 ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ October 9, 2009 at 5:10 am

    Which part of this was an award?

    Could you be just a little more sarcastic, please!

  15. 15 Alice In Wonderland October 9, 2009 at 8:05 am

    This has been one of the funniest memes that I have ever read!
    I just loved it!

  16. 16 Stephanie October 9, 2009 at 9:16 am

    That was the funniest meme I’ve ever read haha!

  17. 17 Cindy Lou October 10, 2009 at 10:40 am

    :} :} :} You and your hysterical answers made my morning…thanx!

  1. 1 i don’t have a title…because i don’t “technically” think i have a point. « booshy Trackback on October 9, 2009 at 10:23 am
  2. 2 honesty…not always like, well, fun. « booshy Trackback on October 19, 2009 at 3:39 pm
  3. 3 you women make everything so damn complicated « booshy Trackback on October 31, 2009 at 7:22 am

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