tim got his 2 weeks

I know…I’m so misleading.

How can someone get fired on a Saturday, anyway?  That’s just mean.

Tim does have A LOT of explaining to do, though.

LOADS of explaining.

He wanted to take his ring to be buffed out this weekend…miniscule scratches do not bode well with an anal-retentive.

I should know.

I put a scratch ginormous gouge in my engagement ring once…RIGHT after Tim gave it to me proposed.

I’ve since learned that concrete ANYTHING and a ring do not mix. Ever.

We had to go find some random jeweler THAT DAY to remove the unsightly horror. I couldn’t stop rubbing my thumb over the scratch…it was like Chinese water torture…only worse.

We ended up going to one of those “fast repair” places in the mall, the one that spells their name with the big, yellow neon italicized letters. We handed over my ring, got a little receipt, walked out…did some window shopping…then Tim stops in the middle of the walkway between stores all, “WHAT IF THEY TAKE YOUR DIAMOND AND SWITCH IT WITH LIKE, QUARTZ?”

Me: Umm…we’re going to get like, run-over by the mall walkers…they’re totally serious about their laps, you know.

Tim: They’re going to STEAL YOUR DIAMOND and you’re worried about mall walkers?

Me: Mall walkers are mean when you get all up in their pathway…wait a second…THOSE STEALERS!! I’m not walking around with some KNOCKOFF.

Tim: It’s not exactly your walking around I’m worried about…more like the price of that diamond…we’re going back. Now.

We turned around, marched ourselves right into their little repair shop and watched them while they were buffing out the scratch in my ring.  The little Indian owner dude kept looking at us like we were going to rob the place…cause we just wandered around the 4 foot by 4 foot store like it had HOURS of items to ponder and admire…including the plain counter with the cash register that took up like, half the store.

We probably eyed that counter part one too many times…cause my ring was done in like, record time.

When we left…Tim wasn’t convinced it was my ring all, “IT LOOKS DIFFERENT.”

Me: It looks the same to me…I mean, how could they have taken out my diamond and replaced it THAT QUICKLY?

Tim: With the right tools…it only takes MERE SECONDS.

We spent the rest of the day examining the ring…trying to convince ourselves that it was still MY ring…

Then I forgot my purse at the restaurant where we ate lunch.

For whatever reason, that day was not one to be carrying around important things.

Like a ring.

Or a wallet with credit cards.

Tim ended up taking my ring to work the next week to look at it under a loop to make sure the ID number engraved in the diamond matched what was on our little GIA certificate.

He’s fact and data-driven, remember?

He called me later that day all, “IT MATCHES. Good thing we went back…cause that owner had shifty eyes…”

Me: I think he had shifty eyes because we were making him nervous. You know, we totally could pass as Bonnie and Clyde.

Tim: Not if I refuse to wear Chaps and those tight-ass pants…you’re getting me completely off track…at least it’s YOUR RING.

Me: Excellent detective work, Watson. Excellent.

(and I did get my purse back…someone was nice enough to turn it into the manager without removing items they deemed a finder’s fee).

Anyway, about the explaining…

The place we took Tim’s ring had to take it, ship it off to their “buffer place” – cause they don’t keep a buffer machine in the store – and then mail it back to us.

Which means Tim will be ringless for TWO FULL WEEKS.

I told him he better quell the rumors before they start…cause, you go without a ring one day – you forgot.

You go without a ring for two weeks…


We’ve already started getting those looks from people all, “ohhhh…look at that…she’s a CHEATER FACE…”

Cause I’m sitting here, all blinged out, while Tim’s got naked fingers.

I told him I’d give his finger a permanent marker ring…words all, “BACK OFF” circled around his flesh. Though that really doesn’t help me any…I mean, from far away it’ll just look like a tattoo.

He wanted a gumball machine ring.

Now that I’m thinking about it, he may just get his wish.

And I hope the one that pops out is like, a pink princess one with lots of flowers and hearts and singing unicorns with metallic streamers flowing from their tails.

Cause I’ll bet after two weeks of that, we won’t have anymore scratches on that ring, will we?


13 Responses to “tim got his 2 weeks”

  1. 1 Shelly October 4, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    I hate it when we have our rings deep cleaned because I always feel naked without my ring for so long. When I was pg and too huge to wear my ring, I felt a little slutty, walking around all big and pregnant with no wedding ring. That was probably just wishful thinking since I was light years away from anything resembling sexy.

  2. 2 Ariel October 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    We need to get our wedding rings/my e-ring cleaned twice a year to keep the warranty on the diamonds. when I had my e-ring cleaned I got panicky every time I felt for it and it wasn’t there, I’m going to be twice as bad when we get our wedding rings cleaned!

  3. 3 lifestartsnow October 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    not the best time to tell you that a jewelery place lost my friends engagement ring (and 20 other rings)…


  4. 4 Angelia October 4, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    Some cougar is gonna pounce on him, FRESH MEAT! Or they will melt his ring and replace it with brass. This was not a good day! You should be afraid, very, very afraid.
    It IS Halloween month! Mwah,HA, HA, HAAAAAA!

  5. 5 Chell October 5, 2009 at 7:41 am

    My hubs worked a job that would not allow him to wear his ring at work due to the voltage he was working with at the time. The first 3 years of our marriage, he was ringless at work. I always teased him that he just wanted the chicks in the office to think he was still single… 🙂

  6. 6 Wendi October 5, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Gumball ring! Gumball ring!

  7. 7 Kid Icarus October 5, 2009 at 8:14 am

    I love it. We’re actually having problems with Jonathan’s poor ring. We didn’t know it at the time, but he’s allergic to the metal in his ring, so he gets a rash ever time he wears it, the skin starts bubbling and oozing like a zombie finger…it’s gross.

    Maybe a gumball machine ring would do nice for him too. Thanks for the celver idea.

  8. 8 Casey October 5, 2009 at 9:11 am

    yes, get the gumball ring!

  9. 9 Laura October 5, 2009 at 9:41 am

    I am dreading getting mine done, but I have to. White gold eventually turns yellow and I hate yellow gold. The worst was when I was pregnant and my hands were swollen and my ring wouldn’t fit. 😦 I looked like an unwed preggo girl. lol

  10. 10 basia October 5, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Rule #587: NEVER trust a mall walker.

  11. 12 hintonrae October 5, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Love your sense of humor. And my husband “proposed”/gave me my engagement ring, too. In the Wal-Mart parking lot.

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