Too much rain makes people obstinate and cranky. Especially those working security. At the airport.
Tim and I managed to get yelled at five times from the moment we slipped our shoes off and threw them on the belt to before we walked through the metal dectector.
First, we’re not blocking the aisle. Second, we read the “three million signs” that said the laptop had to go in it’s own special bin. Third…
Oh!! Totally going a different direction but lots more interesting than the jerkfaces in security…
I got to see a real, live cougar! Of the female, silicone filled version.
See, Tim upgraded our seats so I could have some leg room. We were all excited until we were boarding the plane and Tim was all, “What seats are we in?”
Me: 1 and 2.
Tim: I need to know which letter…numbers don’t exactly help without the letter…
Me: F and F
Tim: I didn’t get seats next to each other?!? DAMMIT!
Me: It’s fine – really.
Then we get on the plane and the person Tim has to sit next to is this bleach blonde woman with way too much makeup and corvette red nails.
I sat by this nice old lady who I nicknamed “snoop” because she kept peeking over my shoulder, reading a draft of my book (I KNOW! It’s in a DRAFT!).
Anyway, so this blonde woman had no idea Tim and I came in a pair ( I think all the silicone has pushed out her brain cells…). Tim sits down and her face lights up all, “FRESH MEAT!!”
They got their seatbelts mixed up or something as she was tee-hee-heeing in a high pitched squeal all, “isn’t that SO FUNNY??”
Tim played along for a minute until he realized what was actually happening. Once the lightbulb went off, he whipped around in his seat and said, “sooo, dear wife of mine…do you need anything? The woman of my dreams..most perfect being in the history of humans….
So much more to juice to spill!…
Are you up for a late night post?
Cause you know how Italians are with food…and apparently dinner is ready and I’m being dragged to the table…